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Brooke

My face hurts from smiling at everyone.

I would’ve thought I’d have this down by now; I’ve been doing it since I was little.

Dress the part, show up, smile at all my mom’s country club “friends,” act like I care what college their kids have gotten into or the new job in the city they’ve got, and keep the information for later as my Mom is going to grill me for it when I get home and finally while everyone tells me what a great time they had, I hated every second of it.

Since going to college, I haven’t had the time to attend these parties, which has been a blessing, but I couldn’t avoid this one.

Brooke and Josh’s moving home party. Now, am I moving home? No.

I’m moving to a college closer to home with my boyfriend, Josh, which is only one hour away, but that minor detail doesn’t matter as long as our moms can throw an extravagant party centred around the image of family.

So, here I am in the Hayle family’s backyard sipping cocktails in the sunshine. Sounds like fun, but Josh has been gone for most of the party, talking to his new baseball team while he’s left me in the trenches alone.

To be honest, there are probably worse parties to be at; they’ve spared no expense in hiring a bar and tables are dotted around the yard, floating flowers in the pool below the patio area we are all standing on, the string of lights hanging above us will flick on as soon as the sun is setting.

The house itself sits on the outskirts of an affluent neighbourhood in Beacon Valley.

I sneak a look over towards his teammates again and spot his brunette curls immediately; he’s laughing at a joke from one of the guys, slapping him on the back before he moves off towards the house. I so badly want to follow him, but I’m stuck with a group of women.

“Josh said the apartment has a view of the river,” one of Josh’s aunts gushes as I stand with a smile fixed on my face, nodding because, truthfully, I hadn’t even seen the apartment he got for the two of us.

Josh and his mom went to view it while I had exams, and then they put down a deposit before I could even suggest waiting.

Is that normal? My best friend Cami didn't seem to think so; she said I should have refused to move in until I saw it in person. But when I told Josh that, he just laughed, thinking I was joking, and I couldn't be bothered to tell him I wasn't.

He did it for us, I have to remind myself. He said he didn’t want me to stress while studying, and it made sense, but I still wish I had known I had a river view before his aunt, who I had met once, did.

“Brooke, sweetie,” Josh’s mom’s voice calls from behind me. “Would you go find Josh? It’s time for his speech.”

I turn towards her as she puts her hands on my shoulder and silently steers me away, her jet-black hair pinned up to perfection, and her dress immaculate and tailored perfectly to her body.

“Sure, no problem. I think I saw him head inside.” I smile at her politely and make my way through the crowd of over a hundred.

That's ridiculous. Josh’s entire team, friends, and family… but hey, like I said, no one stops our moms’ and a party.

I walk up the steps connecting the patio area to the main house and slip through the glass doors. I feel the cool, conditioned air on my skin as I transition from the warm end of summer air. The house is all stone, marble, and grandness, precisely like the family that lives in it.

The lounge off from the yard doors is full of family pictures of Josh and his parents’ achievements, and a lot of event pictures taken by professional photographers.

I can’t help but think of the hallway in my own house, which is all art and bare of any personal family touch. Sometimes, now that I’ve moved out, I think others wouldn’t be able to tell anyone lives there with the way my mom keeps it so bare.

After my dad died, she took all our photos down, saying it hurt too much to see him every day.

I had thought that after a few months, they would go back up, but she never brought them back out.

I took a framed photo of my dad and put it on the dresser in my room, so I at least could have something to look at when I wanted to.

It’s been five years since he passed away, and I don’t go a day without thinking of him; he was my best friend and biggest supporter.

While my mom is uptight and cold, my dad was warm and carefree. Complete opposites ,a marriage born out of a business deal my grandparents arranged for the family business that my mother ended up taking over, anyway.

I hear voices from the kitchen. I head in that direction down the hallway, and the words I hear halt my movement.

“You’re going to be the most expensive son-in-law.” I hear my mother laugh, and I tense.

“We made that deal right after Daniel died; I just don’t think it’s necessary anymore.” I hear Josh say. He’s talking about my dad, and I feel an icy chill go down my spine.

“I know, but it’s a fair deal for all you’ve done, Josh.” My mom answers him with a sugar-coated voice. I imagine she puts a hand on his arm to drive the point home that she cares. “If you had broken up with Brooke, then who knows where she would be right now?”

“I know, but we are both happy now. You don’t need to keep paying me to stay with her.” I hear Josh laugh softly. “I’m about to go out there in front of everyone and get down on one knee. I think that says enough about my commitment.”

The wave of dizziness and confusion hits me like a truck, and I put my hand against the cool wall to steady myself and process what I've just heard.

My mom’s been paying my boyfriend to not break up with me.

They’re still talking, but I don’t want to hear anything else. Slipping off my heels, I bend down carefully to pick them up before tiptoeing back down the hallway the way I came. I move towards the stairs and run into Josh’s mom and freeze.

“Did you find him?” she asks, putting a hand on her hip, waiting for me for an answer. I look at her, still frozen, and realise the dress she is wearing is white, just like the one my mom wore.

Had they both seriously dressed for my “engagement” in white? Who does that?

Panic is gripping me too tightly to think about the white dress dilemma too much, because I don’t want to be engaged.

Even if I hadn’t heard them, the thought of being proposed to in front of one hundred people makes me feel physically sick.

“Um, no, actually, I just need a minute; I’m not feeling well,” I finally say, giving her a tight smile while shaking my head slightly.

It’s still swimming with all this information, and I’m not lying about feeling sick.

I’m seconds away from throwing up the strawberry daiquiri I had and ruining her outfit.

“Oh, sweetie, no. Josh’s speech is in a minute.

” She grabs my arm firmly, trying to move me toward the doors, and I flinch, pulling away.

If I go outside, I'm going to be proposed to - nope, not happening. “I’m on my period,” I squeak out, and she turns towards me, looking uncomfortable.

“I need to go grab a tampon; I don’t want to ruin my dress. ”

“Oh, of course, honey. Why didn’t you say?” She laughs it off awkwardly and shoos me towards the stairs. “Be quick.”

Nodding, I scurry up the stairs past more family portraits and pictures and lock myself in the furthest bathroom from the stairs. Sinking to the floor, I place my shoes next to me, feeling the cool tile underneath my legs and hands. I feel more grounded as my brain processes the information.

My dad died when Josh and I had only been dating a few months; we had always been friends and ran in the same circles, but it wasn’t until one of Mom’s parties that we ended up spending one-on-one time together.

We snuck a bottle of champagne, sat out on the country club’s golf course in the middle of the night, and ended up kissing.

He asked me out the next day, and even though I wasn’t feeling any butterflies, I liked Josh and thought everyone was supposed to have a relationship in high school, so I said yes.

It was fun; he took me on cute dates, to dinner, and the movies, but just as I doubted if he was the right one, Dad died, and Josh was there. He held my hand at the funeral and started picking me up from school like my dad used to. He began to feel safe, and we became solid.

But that was all a lie; HE didn’t want to be there for me, he tried to break up with me.

My face grows red with embarrassment, and tears are pricking my eyes as this ugly lie is suddenly tainting all those memories of knocking on my mom’s door every day for weeks, asking if she wanted to have dinner together or watch a movie, but she never answered.

Josh would always show up and take me to that dinner or a movie.

Had she called him? Every time I needed her, she called him to deal with me.

There’s a knock at the door behind me, and I jump.

“Brooke?” My mom’s voice comes through the door; the honey is gone from her voice, and it’s cold again.

“Yeah, Mom.” I sigh, pressing the heel of my hands to my eyes to stop the tears threatening to fall.

“Everyone is waiting for you; hurry up,” she hisses through the door.

“I got my period. I’ll just be a little longer.” I say as I scramble up and search through my purse, brushing tears away as I do.

“You’re embarrassing us both.” I hear her heels clack off after she hisses her parting shot, and a sniffle creeps out as I grab my phone and dial my best friend’s number.

“B!” she squeals down the phone as soon as she answers, and I hear music thumping in the background.

“Cami, can you come get me?” Instantly, I start to cry at her voice, not able to keep the tears at bay anymore.

“I’m on my way,” she says without any hesitation or explanation. I let out a sob because I knew she would be there for me. “I’ve had too much to drink, but I’m coming, B. I’ll get a ride.”

“Oh my God, I’m sorry, you’re at that party.

” I cover my eyes while the other hand grips the countertop.

I’m a terrible friend. Cami had been talking about this back-to-college party all week and how some girls on her figure skating team were going; she wanted to get to know them, as the girls she was close to last year had graduated.

“Don’t worry, I’ll figure something out. ”

“No, you won’t!” she shouts down the phone at me. “I’ll text you when I’m almost there; pin me your location.”

“Okay.” I sniffle.

“B, whatever it is, it’s going to be okay.”

I nod, even though she cannot hear me, and grip the sink more tightly. I’ve got to figure out how to stall my proposal till she gets here.

What is my life?