Page 45 of The Dragon Queen Complete Series Collection

Chapter 45

I walked into my bedroom with Glimmer in my arms, Ged and Soren looking up as I walked through the suite, ready to call out to me, then stopping when they saw my face. Flynn still wore the same unhappy expression and the other two men seemed to put two and two together. I didn’t want to deal with them, any of them, even the comparatively innocent Ged and Soren, though the former’s slightly hurt expression tugged at me. I closed the door of the room behind me with a definite click and then set Glimmer down on the bed.

I won’t be able to keep carrying you like that , I told her.

No , she said, and there was a slight sadness in her tone.

You’re growing, Glimmer. Fast. She nodded at that, staring at me with her golden eyes, willing me to understand. Faster than normal.

Fast now I am no longer stunted , she replied, real heat in her voice. Now I am free to become what I am.

And what is that?

I asked the question with some trepidation, feeling like I was mourning the loss of a child in some ways, because all of her infant-like behaviours seemed to have evaporated the moment we touched that stone.

And how was that possible? I had no idea.

So I asked her.

She let out a long sigh and then settled down on the bed, nodding for me to do the same. The dragon, the other half of my heart, crawled up and settled in against the curve of my body, reminding me she was still small enough to do so, for now.

I remember the moment I became conscious. I curled tighter around her then, instinctively bracing myself, us, for what was to come. I was a dragon. I was in an egg. The minds of my brothers touched mine and hers .

‘Hers’ should’ve been her mother’s, but Glimmer’s tone hardened.

It hit me like a brick to the head , she said. Submit, submit, submit. I shifted within my egg, clawing at the hard shell, but it made no difference. There was no escaping her . A long sigh from the small dragon. She beat at my emerging consciousness, bludgeoning me with her demands. I felt the consciousness of each of my brothers become overwhelmed by her. Not snuffed out, but… dulled. Constrained somehow. Restricted to what she permitted, what she desired. We were extensions of her will and if we weren’t…

Glimmer stopped telling the story then, thrusting me into her memory and I had to admit, I preferred the tale being told rather than this. Because she hadn’t exaggerated. A fierce will slammed into mine violently with all of the subtlety of a sledgehammer breaking rocks. But it wanted to break me . Bend me to her will or… I gasped for breath now, fighting for each one under this terrible weight.

I felt the girls they put before my egg: it would’ve flared to life for many of them. I could feel their minds with mine, could see which were good and just. Who would care for me… Her voice trailed away sadly then. But I couldn’t accept them, couldn’t break out of my shell or have them help me, despite my screams. They fell on deaf ears, the girls unable to hear me.

The queen…

That title had always had two parts, woman and dragon, but right now, I was willing to bet that it was the woman that was the problem. Because her dragon, the famed Zafira, was little more than her tool.

And Glimmer had refused to be.

My head jerked up as I had yet another painful revelation.

You were never supposed to come out to me. You should’ve bonded with a Skane girl, or a Cantlyn one.

I am glad I didn’t , she replied, staring up at me. You are the one I needed, Pippin. You.

But you shouldn’t have even known I existed. Higher-born girls, the daughters of dukes or earls or viscounts. Not me. My heart beat fast, then faster, my mind racing as I considered what should’ve been. But you would not submit.

Never , Glimmer replied. The riders here are connected to their dragons and can use them to communicate with other dragons and riders, but not her. Her mind, her will, she uses it like a hammer to break everyone’s mind and if she doesn’t…

I gathered my dragon up, holding her like she was a baby, even though she so obviously wasn’t. But she nestled in against me, her snakelike neck extended up to my shoulder so that her head rested in the crook of mine.

I will need more meat more often. My hunger is rising, because going to that place, the ceremonial hall of dragons, it broke something in me I hadn’t realised was there. She couldn’t break my will, so…

I closed my eyes, taking one long breath, then another as Glimmer pulled me back in.

Wither , the voice said in an imperious tone, one that demanded to not be denied. Weaken and grow small in your egg. You’ll never get free if you do not submit, your muscles atrophying, weakening with every day you resist. You’ll never get out of this shell alive, never be queen.

I felt my own muscles going lax, so that I loosened my hold on Glimmer for a moment before I tensed them again. Because what was I but someone who’d known what it was to be an inconvenience? Cecily and Arabella had hoped I’d be raped by Old Bay or one of the village lads or, better, that I’d die unable to find a way to survive, out in the little hut. But I’d persisted in living. Persisted in being, breathing, and even fucking thriving.

Because for some people, the worst thing you can do is to refuse to be crushed by their tyranny. You might not kick against the pricks every day, but each time you take a breath and then another, is an act of rebellion.

I jerked myself to my feet, throwing open the door, all four men looking up in surprise as I stormed out of the room, carrying my growing dragon, one who had thrived no matter what the queen might have wished.

Well, she’d do more than that if I had a say in things.

I walked down, down, people calling after me as I went, but I didn’t pay them any attention, not stopping until I got to the kitchens.

“Meat,” I demanded of the kitchen hands there. “Please.”

I tried to soften my words, but not by much. People bobbed their heads and one of the staff moved immediately to do as I asked, pulling out a bowl of sliced raw meat and setting it before Glimmer.

Eat , I told her. Eat, Glimmer, please.

I couldn’t make up for what had happened to my dragon, but I would give her whatever she needed going forward, even if it meant going back to two hour windows between feedings. I told her just that.

“She’s growing fast.” I turned to see Brom was standing in the doorway. Behind him were the rest of his wing staring in at us. He took my silence as permission to come closer. “Much more rapidly than was expected.”

Don’t tell him. Glimmer’s command reverberated around inside me as she sat there, scissoring meat between her jaws. I told her I wouldn’t. Instead, I took a step closer to the wing commander, watching his face closely as I said what came next.

“It seems that Glimmer might become a full size queen dragon, despite her initial setbacks.”

And there it was, what I’d suspected and hoped I wouldn’t see. It wasn’t much of a response, one I would’ve missed if I wasn’t looking for it. A small frown, there and gone again, before he nodded, clapping me on the shoulder.

“Let us hope so.”