Page 66 of The Devoted Husband

Two Hours Later

“What’s this about?” she asked, wanting to get their meeting over with.

“I wanted you to know that I never hated you; I hated the idea of Atlas being with you. He really liked you, and I feared it would lead to him having an episode,” Vanessa said.

“An episode? What do you mean?”

“Atlas had schizophrenia,” Clay shared, completely knocking the air from Sade’s lungs.

She gripped the pole and looked from Clay to Vanessa.

“What? H-how did I not know that?”

Vanessa smiled as her eyes watered. “Because he was taking his medicine. When he takes his medicine, the symptoms are under control. I think he stopped taking them when you returned to Memphis.”

“I noticed a little difference in him,” Clay said. “But I didn’t take it seriously. He hadn’t had an episode in a while. I thought he was just depressed and not handling his emotions well.”

“And I was in denial,” Vanessa added. “I’d just gotten him back home, and I didn’t want to believe he had stopped taking his medicine. If I questioned him about it, he’d pull away.” She wiped a tear before it could fall. “I didn’t want to lose him again.”

“So the schizophrenia is why he started to spiral?” Sade asked.

“It was,” Clay answered. “The delusion, the detachment, inability to control his emotions or not having an emotional reaction when needed. All of those things were signs that he’d stopped taking his medicine.”

“The minute he started fixating on your baby, I should have known he’d stopped,” Vanessa said. “I’m so sorry. We should have caught it sooner.”

“You don’t have to apologize for that, but I really appreciate you telling me.

I’d been trying to figure out where we went wrong for things to get so crazy between us, and this makes it make sense.

He was like a completely different person toward the end.

..and now I know why.” Sade blinked back her tears, guilt sitting on her heart for a different reason now.

“How didn’t I notice the changes? Why didn’t I say something? Instead, I just...pushed him away.”

“Oh, please, don’t do that,” Vanessa said. “We’re carrying enough guilt over this situation. You don’t need to. The truth is, Atlas was a grown man, and he chose to stop taking his medicine.”

“How’d you find out that was what happened?”

“We noticed the pill bottle in his bathroom when we went through his things. I checked the date he’d gotten it, and he hadn’t taken any of the pills.”

“Wow.”

“So, it’s not your fault. None of this was. We’ll probably never know why he chose to stop taking his medicine, but that was his choice. We just wanted you to know.”

“Thanks again for telling me,” Sade said, unsure what else could be said.

“Of course, and good luck with your delivery.”

Sade waved at them both before turning and going to the car. Dante got out and opened the door for her, and she was glad Vanessa and Clay went inside without saying anything. The moment Dante drove away, Sade started to tell him everything.

By the time she finished, his response was, “Damn. How do you feel about that now?”

“This gave me some peace, but it also made me feel bad. Like I’m able to now say I know why things changed, but I feel a little guilty because I didn’t try to help him figure out what was going on.

And I know that wasn’t my responsibility, but it makes me feel like I should have been more concerned about someone I said I cared about.

He was exhibiting abnormal, unstable behavior.

What if I would have just tried to figure out why? ”

“Might I offer a different perspective?” Sade nodded.

“I don’t think he wanted you to know, Smiley.

If he did, he would have told you. That’s not something you just forget to tell the person you’re seeing.

He intentionally kept that from you. So, I don’t think your asking would have made a difference.

It was his choice to keep that from you, and it was his choice to stop taking his medicine. ”

“That’s what Vanessa said.”

“And I agree. I also don’t want you to feel guilty over this. It wasn’t your battle. I don’t want you taking this on and making yourself upset. This was a very unfortunate situation all the way around, but it wasn’t your fault at all.”

“Thank you, baby. I needed that.”

Dante took her hand into his and kissed it. His words and Vanessa’s assurance made Sade feel a little better, but she knew it would take some time before she shook away the lingering guilt.