Page 15 of The Devoted Husband

“I think you should journal,” Ava said.

“Huh?”

They might have been closer if she hadn’t moved to Vanzette.

“If you have a lot on your mind and are not ready to talk about it, journaling is a great way to get it out. I’ve journaled since I was eighteen.”

“Really? Do you keep them all and reread it or something?”

“Not all of them. Sometimes, I might read them to reminisce, but most of the time, once I write it out, I never open it again. There are many different kinds of journaling so that matters too. I have a prayer journal that I’ll reread.

The ones that are darker and about painful things, I don’t open those.

And there’s a gratitude and daily one that I’ll use for anything. I sometimes read over those.”

“Hmm . . . Okay, maybe I’ll do that. Thanks, Grandma.”

“Anytime, baby. And you know you can always come to me, right?”

Before January, Sade believed that. After the slight judgment over what happened while Dante was with her in Vanzette, she wasn’t so sure.

Her grandmother’s honesty was always out of love and respect, even if it wasn’t something Sade wanted to hear.

But Dante had always been a soft spot and sacred topic for her.

Because she hadn’t been able to have him the way she wanted until earlier in the year, Sade held what they had near and dear to her heart.

Outsiders may not have understood it, and she didn’t want their perceptions to taint the whirlwind love.

So, as much as she wanted to talk to someone about how she was feeling, she kept her thoughts to herself. The last thing she wanted was for her pregnancy to be something else that made her grandparents disappointed in her.

“Thanks, Grandma. I’ll try the journaling, and if that doesn’t help, I’ll take your ear.”

Pleased with her answer, Ava changed the subject, and they talked for a little longer before Sade headed out.

She’d finally gotten an officer guarding Imani to agree to let her see her sister.

He also agreed to send her daily updates.

Unfortunately, the warden didn’t think Imani’s condition was serious enough to update her family regularly.

But...the six figures Sade offered to pay Reggie, the guard, made Imani’s condition very serious in his eyes.

Sade ended up leaving earlier than planned to try the journaling thing. Even though she stopped by the store to grab a notebook and pens, she decided to send herself a voice memo on her phone instead. That seemed more authentic to her.

As she stared out of her window at passing cars, she spoke.

“I’m pregnant with my best friend’s baby, and he has no idea.” She chortled. “All I’ve ever wanted was Dante. This year, I finally got him...and I let him go. Thinking back on it, I had a lot of reasons. But lately, those reasons don’t seem like enough to stay away.

“I wanted him to suffer for not choosing me, but I’m suffering too.

I thought about how taboo it would be for us to be together, but I don’t care about that anymore.

At the end of the day, I have to live with the choices I make—not anyone else.

Who cares if people approve of what I do or who I’m with if I’m unhappy? ”

With a sigh, Sade nibbled her bottom lip.

“And then there’s Atlas. When we first started messing off, I didn’t tell Dante because I didn’t want it to make him think about Adam.

Then Atlas told me about Imani and Adam’s plot against Dante, and I had to keep it a secret to protect him.

I really liked Atlas, but something about him made me hesitate to commit.

Now that I’ve been with him more, I know exactly where that hesitancy came from.

It was my intuition telling me he had a few loose screws. ”

She snickered. “And I’m sure people can say the same about me, but that’s all the more reason for us not to be together.

But I wanted to be with Atlas because he was loyal to me.

..and Dante. He chose me. He made me feel like a genuine prize, and even if it was unintentional, Dante made me feel like I wasn’t worthy of him and his love because of what he did with Imani.

So, I guess a part of me felt like I owed Atlas.

“Both men are on different ends of the spectrum. Atlas loves me more than I love him, and I love Dante more than he loves me. That’s why I need to stay away from Dante, and that’s why I need Atlas to stay the hell away from me.

But Dante deserves to know about his baby, right?

God, this shouldn’t be so hard. Could we actually coparent and not be together?

I don’t think I can watch him marry someone else, and he’d kill me if he knew I was with Atlas, even if it was brief.

“In his eyes, Atlas is the man who tried to kill him for his cousin. How will I explain being with him? That will probably make me look just as bad as my sister. No. I should just...keep my distance from Atlas and keep things platonic with Dante. I’ll tell him about the baby and, no matter what, agree to coparent only. ”

Feeling lighter, Sade ended the recording and headed to the hospital.

Reggie would soon be clocking out, and she needed to see her sister before he left for the day.

It didn’t take Sade long to get to the hospital, and when she did, she thought she saw a man who looked like Detective Jones from behind.

Convincing herself she was only seeing things, she headed to the second floor and smiled at the sight of Reggie.

“Hi,” she greeted, casually setting the black bag with his cash inside beside where he was seated.

“Hey. Please be quick.”

“Of course.”

As she went into Imani’s room, Reggie stood and guarded the door. Her eyes immediately watered at the sight of her sister chained to the bed, unconscious. Her head was wrapped with a white bandage. There were no marks on her face—or her body. This couldn’t have been a fight; this was an attack.

What had Imani done to warrant this?

Sade took Imani’s hand into hers and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you. I need you to wake up and tell me who did this to you so I can make them pay. I love you, sissy. Rest well.” After kissing Imani on the cheek, Sade left the room. “Were you able to get an update from her doctor?”

Reggie nodded. “Yeah, the swelling is going down. They think they will be able to take her out of the coma soon.”

Relief flooded Sade as she smiled and placed her hand on her chest. “Good, good.” Her fear was this might be another Dante “situation,” where her sister would wake up and have amnesia. “Thanks again, and if she wakes up before I come back...”

“I’ll give you a call ASAP,” he assured, squeezing her hand gently.

Sade gave him a warm smile before leaving. Once she got to the car, she decided to go and tell her grandparents the great news.