Page 26 of The Delta’s Rogue (Crescent Lake #4)

“ You’ve already stayed too long. We have to go. ”

I bite my lip, holding in my tears. “ Sebastián ,” I mutter, my voice weak. I wait for him to answer, but it’s silent. “Sebby?” I say again, but there’s still no response.

I open my eyes, and his are closed, his breaths unnaturally deep. I reach for Sebastian, nudging and jostling him, but my attempts to wake him are pointless.

Rune’s spells are too powerful.

“No…” I whimper. “Wake up. Por favor . Please, please, please!” I beg, pressing my body as tight against his as I can, hoping the feel of my skin and my scent in his nose will yank him from his enchanted sleep.

But of course, they don’t. He won’t wake until morning. And only the Goddess knows when we will see each other again .

We will, though. We have to. It’s inevitable. But knowing that doesn’t make leaving him any easier.

I kiss his face. I kiss his eyelids covering the gray storm clouds beneath. I kiss his forehead, his cheeks, and his mouth that utters such dirty commands to me.

Tears fall from my eyes into his messy light-brown hair as I lean over him and place one final kiss to the top of his head.

“ Te amo, Sebastián .” I confess my love to his sleeping form, the words more a sob than anything else. “ Siempre te amaré .”

I will always love him.

With shaking limbs, I gather my clothes from the tent floor, my body and soul fighting me, and howls of resistance ricocheting off the walls of my mind the entire time. I dress as quickly as I can under the circumstances, pulling Sebastian’s shirt on instead of mine.

I force myself to my feet. I plant one foot in front of the other.

Then I leave the love of my life behind me as I exit the tent.

Rune, flanked by Landon and Steele, waits for me at the edge of the small clearing.

The illusion of our campsite has faded. It’s just the four of us, staring each other down from where we stand.

Landon holds the recalibrated transport stone, and Rune holds both his and Steele’s hands, waiting for me to cross to them.

My heart strains with each step I take. It rips in half until it hangs by a single thread—the one that connects me to Sebastian.

None of us says a word until I’m close enough to them for the stone to bring me along to our next destination.

“Your tent?” Steele flicks his hazel eyes towards it.

“It’s fine.”

“We’re not supposed to leave any traces,” he reminds me.

I grit my teeth and glare at him. “I said it’s fine!” My voice is sharp, like the edge of a knife, and it nicks the tree trunks.

Steele flinches and ducks his head, his copper curls falling in his eyes as he nods. Rune squeezes his hand reassuringly, returning my glare.

But I don’t back down.

They don’t know. They don’t understand.

“The memories?” Rune asks, arching a blonde brow .

“They stay.”

Her brow lifts higher.

“They. Stay.” A harsh, threatening growl threads its way through my words to her, lingering and echoing in the space between us.

Her brown eyes flash with her wolf, but she doesn’t argue with me. She instead nods at Landon, who tosses the stone in the air and catches it.

With a whoosh of air and the blink of an eye, we’re miles away. Eons away. An entire lifetime away. Or at least that’s how it feels to my heart. To my soul.

Our new campsite is near a waterfall and a stream. Rocks and pebbles dig into my bare feet as we arrive on the bank. The trees here are deciduous—oaks and willows and sycamores—a stark contrast to the evergreen redwoods of Crescent Lake and the surrounding area.

My fingers brush against my red choker. It’s tight around my neck, yet it brings me a brief moment of comfort as I trace over it.

I spin around, examining our new temporary home without seeing it, instead focused on the piece of red fabric wrapped around my throat.

I untie and remove it, giving myself something to do other than think about the distance separating Sebastian and me.

My fingers play with the fabric, pinching and tugging on it in front of my stomach, as I bite back my emotions.

From my periphery, I see Riven approach Rune, with clothes and other items in his arms. He hands them to her, but his ever-concerned and watchful eyes are locked on me.

“Sarina.” Rune approaches me cautiously. “Here are your supplies so you can wash off.”

I snap my head in her direction, hands curling into fists at my sides and my chest heaving. I wrinkle my nose, sneering at her.

I spit out my retort, voice tremulous and quiet but furious. “Why? You never wash the scent of Landon and Steele from your body or your cunt. Why should I wash Sebastian’s scent from mine?”

Landon snarls and bares his teeth at me, but Rune just sighs. “Landon and Steele are my mates.”

I growl and tense all my muscles so I don’t lunge at her and wrap my clawed fingers around her throat. “ ?Y Sebastián es mi vida! ”

They all freeze and stare at me as a lone tear streaks down my cheek.

I swipe at it and lift my eyes skyward, blinking at the cloudless dawn sky. “He is my life,” I say again in a whisper.

Riven tiptoes forward and reaches for me tentatively.

I raise my hands in defense, darting away from him. “Don’t!”

He sighs. “Sarina…”

“ ?No me toques! ” I shriek, stumbling backwards, the pebbles skittering across the ground under my unsteady feet. “Don’t touch me,” I repeat, trembling as I continue to put distance between us. “His scent—Sebastian’s scent. If you touch me…” I pull my quivering lower lip between my teeth.

“You have to wash his scent off, Sarina.” Riven stops trying to approach me, but I don’t stop my retreat. “We can’t carry any traces of where we’ve been or the people we’ve been with. Those are the rules. You know this.”

“I can’t…” My head shakes faster and faster with every passing second, my backwards footsteps matching its pace. “ No puedo… ”

“I know you don’t want to”—Rune’s voice is soft, her eyes shining with empathy and understanding—“but how would you feel if someone tracked his scent back to him? Or if something happened to him because you led them to him?”

Her words are a punch to the gut. They’re weights on my ankles, dragging me down to reality.

My knees give out, and I drop to the ground, the pebbles and rocks cutting through my skin so my blood spills on their smooth, untarnished surfaces.

I scream, embracing the pain in my shins and knees, using it to distract myself from the soul-wrenching anguish twisting through the very essence of my being.

Silent sobs wrack my body, and I curl forward over my legs, wrapping my arms around my stomach as the pain pours out of my eyes.

The others stare at me, and I sense them leave, one by one, until only Rune remains. She inches forward and sets the clean clothes, the towel, and the soap on a large rock by the waterfall before she leaves too.

Once I’m alone, I roll onto my side and hug my knees to my chest. The hair falling into my face shields my sorrow from the rest of the world. Not that there’s anyone here to witness it.

I wish I could shield myself from it.

My cries tear through my body, bouncing off the rocks and diving into the bottom of the deep, dark pool the waterfall empties into, an echo of the howls ringing in my mind. The red fabric clutched in my hand ties me to the present while also linking me to him and to the moments we shared.

I cry and cry and cry—more tears than I thought possible. There is no end to my sorrow. It’s etched into the fibers of my being. It’s no less a part of me than my skin or my heart.

When my tears eventually slow—I doubt they’ll ever truly stop—I drag myself to my feet, body trembling from the effort.

With weak and exhausted legs, I cross to the fire pit and strip the clothes from my body.

My leggings and underwear go first, and I chuck them into the flames, watching as they ignite, wishing it was my body the flames lapped at instead.

I set my jaw and lift Sebastian’s shirt over my head, inhaling shakily as it, too, joins the rest of my clothing in the fire pit. I wait as the flames engulf it, breathing in and out as his scent mixes with the smoke briefly, swirling around me one last time before it vanishes completely.

I fidget with the red strip of fabric clutched in my hand.

The fabric that doubled as my choker—my collar —all those nights we spent together at The Black Door.

He could have bought me something else, something fancier.

Diamonds or pearls or jewels. He even offered to, but I refused.

None of those would have measured up to or meant the same as that flimsy piece of red fabric he wrapped around my neck the first time he claimed me as his.

I bend down and wrap it around my ankle, knotting it several times before standing straight.

It’s not protocol. It breaks every rule for me to keep it, but there’s no way I can part with it.

It will be the only piece of him I carry with me until we meet again.

I’ll keep it hidden, keep it beneath my socks and my boots and my pants, letting no one know I faltered.

I gaze into the fire, watching as the clothing turns to ashes, not caring that anyone could glimpse me standing here naked with tears streaming down my cheeks.

And when nothing remains of the clothes, not even a thread, I head to the waterfall to wash the last remnants of my night with Sebastián from my body forever.