Page 79 of The Deals We Make

Who knew that ten words could overwhelm a person? My mouth goes dry, my eyes sting with tears, and I sniff as I try to swallow down the hurt from decades of waiting to be accepted by my own mother.

“Thank you,” I manage, but the words are choked.

“I know you’re going to leave soon, but I’m glad I have Melanie. Can you take all that money back and use it to pay for her?”

I think about what I’ve done. I’ve forced her to take cash to replace me. I can’t do that to her anymore. “I will. I get paid a very healthy salary, Mom. A legal one. I’m going to set up an account that both you and Melanie have access to so you can get food, and keep the house warm, and pay for all the DIY you want to do.”

But even as I say it, it’s still a different version of the same problem. I’m paying money instead of being here for her, to do these things myself, and the thought fills me with guilt.

And for the first time, the idea of staying doesn’t overwhelm me.

Because I’d be here with Mom.

But also, with Ti too.

“Do you think we have time to fix things?” she asks.

Her eyes sparkle with tears, and I know what she means. “Yes, Mom. I’m sorry I stayed away, but I really want to come and see you regularly from now on, if you want me to.”

She nods. “I’d like that.”

I sit with her until Melanie suggests she get up for breakfast, and then I leave. It’s not fair for me to hover in the way between the two of them while they figure out their new routine.

When I leave the house with my work bag, I’m uncertain where I’m going.

I walk to Ti’s house, but there is no answer when I knock. I’m not surprised. He said he was going to his sister’s, and I don’t know where she lives. I could find it if I tried, but I’m not ready to step foot in there yet.

So, I start to wander to a small coffee shop on the shore. As I do, a black sedan pulls away from the curb. It’s nondescript,but the visor is down, which is weird because it’s not especially sunny. A woman is driving it slowly, as if lost.

Then, I remember the car parked outside Mrs. Williams’s home.

The woman I saw when I’d crept out of Ti’s house.

I walk down Fifth Avenue, past Sunset Lake until I hit Ocean Avenue. As I turn the corner, I see the sedan has pulled in farther up the street, but clouds of exhaust tell me the engine is still running.

My heart races. I snap a picture with my phone. The car is too far away for the image to be useful. But I need to do something.

Uncertain if I’m being followed or not, I jog across the street and head to the boardwalk that is pedestrian only. Large metal posts stop the traffic from getting through. Because it’s winter and cold, there are few people down here, yet I’m not so alone that I couldn’t scream for help if I needed to.

But I wish I had Ti’s phone number, so I knew someone was coming to help me.

Because I have an uneasy feeling that I just found my stalker.

24

VEX

“Right. That’s it,” Switch says as he steps between me and the workbench where I just slammed a massive wrench down so hard, I dented the bench. “Tell me what the fuck is going on with you, or we’re going to fight.”

I shake my head. “It wouldn’t be a fair fight,” I say, trying to be accommodating of the injuries he’s still working through.

Switch picks up the wrench. “It will be now, and I figure the wrench owes you one too.”

I snatch it out of his hand and toss it back down on the bench. “Funny.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you this morning? Your sister say something to you to piss you off while she was doing your hair?”

Switch was working in the shop when I arrived, so, like we always do, I joined him to work on his bike.