Page 46 of The Deals We Make

And again, just like the insecure teen I was, I wish the ground would just open up and swallow me whole. “There is no us, Ti.”

14

VEX

She thought she was in love with me.

And there is no us.

I think back to those days and nights and regret being a… what did she call me… ah, yeah, a stupid boy.

In some ways, I’m still that boy. As I scramble for the right thing to say, I wonder if my speaking skills have improved since then as the right words escape me.

“Who did you give the money away to?” I ask.

Calista looks relieved the question isn’t related to her feelings. “I started small. Local women’s shelters. Online campaigns raising money for things. But then, I realized I could have more impact if I donated larger sums to groups making bigger changes. Electoral reform. Women’s rights issues. Gender equality. Things you cared about because Mrs. Williams raised you right.”

“But you only ever talked about the things you wanted to spend the money on. Travel. Shoes. A house.”

She looks over at the fireplace and I take in her profile. Cute nose, long lashes, and lush lips. Not sure how I missed allthis when we were young. “I still wanted all those things. I just needed more money for it.”

“The Outlaws?”

“Finding the right person to hack was always a balance. Too big and they had fancy legal teams and skilled tech people. They often had, back then, what felt like unhackable firewalls and security. But you also didn’t want an organization too small that they paid attention to their bank balance on a daily basis. Remember, we always talked about getting in, getting rich, and getting out. I’ve learned the cleanup is just as important as the getting in.”

She smiles to herself, as if she’s a little nostalgic about her start versus where she is now. Then, she turns back to me. “Why did you go to them and tell them?”

I take a large gulp of the whiskey and let it burn. “For a whole bunch of reasons, some of which no longer make sense. Some of which are as true now as they were then.”

There’s a quiet between us as I sort through the best way to explain what happened.

“You can’t just leave it there,” Calista says.

“I was naive enough to think I could do it as a one-time job. I went to the Outlaws, so fucking wet behind the ears. I thought I could get them to tighten up their tech, make them unhackable. I walked right up to their compound and asked to see their president.”

Calista places her palm on my knee. “That was a reckless thing to do.”

I eye her carefully. “No more reckless than trying to steal from them and hoping you don’t get caught.”

“Touché.”

But she’s right. Motorcycle clubs are, more often than not, for white men only. White men above the law, with a penchant for weapons.

“He agreed to talk to me. Without mentioning you, I told ‘em I’d overheard someone talking about hacking them on the dark web. How I was an expert in hacking prevention. The truth was, I wasn’t yet. But I knew how you intended to do it. I thought I could just jump in, shore up their system, and the world would be fine.”

Calista stands and walks to the window, wrapping her arms around herself. “And was it?”

I finish my whiskey. “No. Because by the time I’d finished it and proven to them that I’d fixed the way the imaginary person on the dark web was gonna hack them, they told me I couldn’t leave.”

She turns back to face me at that. “They wouldn’t let you leave?”

I shake my head. “Camelot sat me down in the clubhouse. Asked me how much money I made hacking. I hadn’t told him I hacked too, but he told me no one could be that good at setting up a system unless they continually tested them. He said he’d pay me that much per month to make sure everything they did was secure. And that I’d get a percentage of club business. I said thanks, but explained I had plans. College. Whatever.”

“He didn’t accept that?”

“I made the mistake of thinking it was an offer.”

“But it wasn’t?”