Page 35 of The Damned (Coven of Bones #3)

I let my eyes fall closed, sinking into the deep well of power that I kept tucked away.

It was fuller than I remembered from the last time I’d touched it, the last time I’d attempted to allow a shallow release to ease it free.

My own magic coated my skin too easily here, chasing away Asmodeus’s and warming my skin beneath the slick of desire as it catapulted to the surface.

It mingled with the magic of the Second Circle that permeated the air, seeming to settle into this place as if it recognized it intuitively.

The song rose in my throat, a deep, throaty hum that would have come even if I had not willed it. The moment I let that magic loose, I was lost. The moment I drew it to the surface in this place, it overwhelmed me.

“ Fuck, ” Beelzebub groaned beneath me, his hips bucking into me as my own moved of their own accord.

I’d barely needed to touch him, simply offering teasing touches as my magic did the work for me.

I sat a little deeper, giving him the full extent of my weight as I reached a hand to the back of his neck, tangling it in the hair at the base of his neck.

He groaned as my mouth pressed into his neck, my tongue darting out to taste his flesh as a strangled gasp interrupted my song.

In the distant haze of my memory, I knew this wasn’t right.

I knew I hadn’t intended for it to spiral like this as I ground against him, feeling the ridge of his length through his pants.

The absence of any underwear meant there was only the thin, smooth surface between us to stop him from sliding inside me, to stop me from giving him the one thing I could not.

My body responded to his touch, even when he could not physically do anything to me.

My body recognized him and my need for him, pulling back from his neck to stare down at him.

My lips moved with softly murmured words, with a song I hadn’t thought I’d known.

His stare tracked the movement, studying my lips intently.

I grasped his face between my hands, lifting his stare to mine as I lowered my mouth to his slowly.

My mouth lingered just a breath away from his, so close to touching but unable to close that final distance.

I clung to reality, trying desperately to ease the magic out of my own body and into his.

“Songbird,” he groaned, the words a breath I inhaled.

They filled my lungs with my intake of breath, the warmth spreading through me as I fought to come back to reality.

In all my time as an Erotes witch, I’d never lost control of my own lust. I’d done only what was required of me and moved on, but this was different.

This called to a part of me I wanted to know.

“Fuck it,” Beelzebub gasped, lifting his chin and closing the distance between us. His chest heaved as his mouth touched mine, his breathing stopping immediately as I sighed into him. His kiss was gentle, restrained, as if he was asking me for the permission to continue.

I deepened it immediately, tugging on the back of his neck to bring him closer.

He raised his body to press into me more tightly, his posture going straight as I sank into his lap.

He struggled against his binds but didn’t attempt to break free.

I gripped his face more firmly, molding my mouth to his as his tongue danced with mine.

The taste of him inside me was like a war on my senses, something so distinctly him that somehow matched his scent.

He erased the floral of my perfume and filled it with the freshness of mint.

He replaced the vanilla and cinnamon spices that accompanied the florals with the roughness of his leather and cedar.

My song sounded weaker, but the cords of magic in the air pulsed stronger than ever as we lost ourselves in each other.

My hands glided down his chest and over his abs, sliding between our bodies, and my pinky finger brushed against the hard length of him.

He groaned into me as I gasped, breaking our kiss to stare up at me.

He was hard and heavy, practically begging for release as I slid my pinky over the tip of him. A spot formed on his leathers, warm and wet as our arousal drove higher.

In my haze of magic, I reached for the waistband of his pants, determined to tug them down and free him from the confines.

To feel his skin against mine in that intimate area, to touch him to my core and feel his heat like a brand inside me.

He tore his mouth from mine, shaking his head with a smile.

“Easy, songbird. Just like this,” he said, the words soft in spite of the way my song grew louder.

My magic attempted to get him to consent to what it wanted.

His answering smile was soft, as if he saw right through to what was driving me and knew what I needed even though I was lost. “I don’t need to fuck you to come for you, songbird. ”

He shifted in the chair, curving his lower back to give me a better seat.

I adjusted in his lap, settling down on top of him as I crushed my mouth to his again.

My hips ground back and forth, desperation for release driving me.

Beelzebub participated as he could, letting me take what I needed from him until he finally groaned long and deep, his body going taut as release stole the breath from his lungs.

I stilled in his lap, watching his face as the pleasure played over his masculine features.

His eyes closed slowly, his mouth dropping open slightly as he smiled through it.

I leaned forward, all too aware of the way the position put my breasts in his face, and untied him from the chair.

I scrambled off his lap, reality crashing back in as the magic I’d summoned faded.

Fed, satisfied by his release, it swirled around on my skin and left a glittering trail of beauty in its wake, feeding me better than any food could have hoped to.

I felt stronger than I had in years as I adjusted my dress, but the feeling was fleeting as my belly cramped with the effort to shove the fresh wave of magic away.

It wanted the one thing it had been deprived of, the thing it had never been gifted in all my years of life. The release that would send my magic spiraling out through the world, freeing it from the confines of my body.

There was just too much kept locked within me.

I bent over slightly, curling my arms around my stomach as I tried to find the lid to the well, to shove it back over the top and contain the magic that now roamed free.

The Second Circle entwined with it, dancing in a circle around me to try to strip away my will once more.

I clung to it with every fiber of my being, willing my hands to stay still.

“Margot,” Beelzebub said, and I looked up to find him standing.

He walked toward me slowly, treating me like the caged animal I felt like in that moment.

I whimpered as a fresh wave of pain hit me in the chest, trying to claw its way out of my body.

“Let me help you,” he said, and we both knew what he meant by help .

Let him touch me. Let him bring me to the same release I’d given him.

But I didn’t deserve it, not after what I’d done. Not with the monster I was. I was no better than Itan, taking from those who would not have given if it weren’t for what I was.

I didn’t get to feel pleasure in what I’d chosen.

“No,” I said, denying him as I took another step back from him. “I’ll be fine. It’s just this fucking place.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” Beelzebub said, gesturing to my hold on my abdomen, on the center of my being where my magic waited. “When was the last time you had an orgasm, songbird?”

I didn’t answer, turning my gaze away as if he might see the answer in my eyes.

As if he might somehow be able to read me and understand that I hadn’t ever experienced that pleasure.

I didn’t want to become a slave to my desires, didn’t want to let my sins rule me.

The best way to keep my sin at bay was to never allow myself to feel it, to never allow it to corrupt me in the way it had so many others.

Beelzebub came closer suddenly, grasping my face and turning me so I met his stare.

His eyes were wide and shocked, bouncing over the lines of my face as he searched for a contradiction to what he’d already seen.

“ Margot, ” he said, the worry in that tone sinking inside of me.

The elders had warned me of the dangers of denying myself, of keeping it contained.

Eventually, the magic would take control. Eventually, it would erase my will and unleash itself on the closest target.

It had already tried, and only Beelzebub’s restraint had kept me from making a terrible mistake.

His restraint that shouldn’t have been possible under my spell. If it hadn’t been for the pain in my stomach, I might have spent more time trying to process what that meant, but I stored it away for another time.

But I would never let those warnings come to pass. I would never allow myself to become that monster. When we reached the day that I could no longer control it, that would be the day when I gave up altogether.

“I’m fine,” I said, straightening and standing tall, finally, as I shoved the pain down deep.

As I tried to lock it away where he couldn’t see the agony I lived in every day.

At some point, I’d gotten used to the deep throbbing pain, but every time I released it, every time I put it back into the cage of my body, it was like breaking the bone all over again.

Somehow worse than ever.

“Get on the fucking bed, Margot,” Beelzebub snapped, his eyes flaring with anger.

“You can’t fucking fix me, Beel,” I said, hating the sting of tears in my throat. I wanted nothing more than to be strong enough to shove them away, to not give in to the angry torrent coming my way.

“You aren’t broken, songbird,” he said, the gentle tone of his voice making my bottom lip tremble. “You just… need a little help taking that power back. Let me help you.”

“No,” I said, squaring my shoulders in spite of the tears falling down my cheeks.

“Then do it yourself at least,” he said, closing the distance between us. He took my hand in his, guiding it toward my center as I jolted back from the prospect.

“No,” I repeated.

“For fuck’s sake! I can’t just stand here and watch you suffer!”

“Then leave,” I said, already turning away from him. There was a shower in the bathroom, and I fully intended to set the temperature to freezing and plunge myself under the cascade. To chill my heated skin in an attempt to quell the desire and mingling pain.

Beelzebub’s mouth opened as if he might argue, his eyes darting over the determination on my face. He grimaced, his face twisting before I disappeared into the bathroom and locked myself in.

A few minutes passed before the door closed in the bedroom as Beelzebub left me to suffer alone.

Just the way I liked it.