Page 16 of The Damned (Coven of Bones #3)

M A R G O T

The demon seemed to realize there was something trapped in the weight of my gaze, his own features softening as much as I thought him capable of.

I glanced back at the entrance behind us, taking in the open door.

It was a modicum of comfort, the knowledge that anyone could walk by at any moment.

That we were not well and truly alone in the confines of a bedroom.

I hadn’t allowed myself to be caught with a man behind closed doors since Itan had taken everything from me for the last time, since I’d gotten too old for him to desire and been saved from his attentions. I swallowed, letting my eyes drift closed as I considered my options.

I knew the situation I’d somehow maneuvered myself into was dangerous, that bedrooms were where men used the excuse of desire to mask their violence, which could be far more damaging than the threat of death.

“Songbird,” Beelzebub said, his gentle voice making my heart leap into my throat.

It came from the other side of the room, making it clear that he hadn’t taken my moment of weakness with my eyes closed to take advantage and intrude on my space.

His respect for my needs was somehow almost worse, like I spent my time around him waiting for him to reveal his true nature and tear away the illusion that he might have cared.

The demons outside the manor might have destroyed my body and torn my flesh, but at least the worst they would do was kill me.

Beelzebub was caught under my spell, drawn to me in a way that wasn’t entirely his fault.

I didn’t know what the consequence of that would be for the male who seemed to be carefully controlled in all other facets of his life, and that unpredictability felt impossible for me to navigate.

Somehow the hope that maybe he would be better than the others I’d known felt so much more dangerous to my soul than if I knew him to be untrustworthy like all the rest.

“Margot,” Beelzebub repeated, the sound of my name snapping me out of my frozen trance. I couldn’t decide whether to fight or flee, whether to wait it out or run before I lost the chance.

I opened my eyes, finding Beelzebub in the exact place he’d been when I closed them.

He dropped his hands to his sides as I met his shocking red stare.

He dropped the needle and thread on the bed unceremoniously, his own healing cast aside as he studied me.

“I—I can’t,” I said, shaking my head and taking a step back toward that open door.

When I’d come to this room with him, I’d fully intended to do what I could to help with his stitches. I knew how impractical it would have been for him to do it himself, and something in that warning about asking demons for help had struck me.

He was alone.

He might have been surrounded by siblings and demons who could have and should have, for all purposes, been family to him, but there was no one here he trusted enough not to harm him.

I related to that more than I wanted to admit, because even though I had spent my entire life surrounded by witches and a Coven that was my home, there wasn’t anyone I’d felt comfortable turning to when I needed help.

Much like me, there was no one he could ask to help with something that was so critical to his well-being.

But he’d asked me, and I wanted so badly to be that person for someone else.

His face softened, the harsh lines going gentle in a way that shouldn’t have been possible.

He saw me far too clearly for my comfort, as if he could read me like one of the books I’d laid out in the library to study while he watched me.

I didn’t know that anyone had taken the time to observe me so fully that they could interpret the signals in my body.

“I can’t control what happens to us out there.

This is Hell, songbird. They use and abuse and manipulate however they can to get what they want, and I will do whatever I must to keep you safe from them.

That means that sometimes, I may need to act quickly without stopping to consider the choice you might have made for yourself,” he said, nodding his head toward the open door.

I turned to follow his stare, toward the safety of avoiding this situation that was laced with danger.

I felt trapped between two bad situations, a certain death out there and the unknown within these walls.

“But in this room with me, you’re in control,” he said, keeping his body very still.

I both appreciated and hated him for his patience, for the fact that he seemed to see straight into the dilemma coursing through my veins.

I wanted nothing more than to remain oblivious, to know that I was safe inside my head.

But something about Beelzebub saw straight into me, read every motion of my body for what it was and knew how to turn me inside out.

“How am I in control in here?” I asked, studying the room intently. “What is it about these walls that will protect me?”

His chuckle was completely inappropriate, as if he found my question amusing.

“It’s not the room that will protect you, Margot.

It is my presence within it and my interest in allowing you to control at least this.

I am fully aware of just how stripped of control you will feel throughout the Nine Circles.

The least I can do is give you a safe space to lay your head,” he answered.

“A safe space? Why would I ever think of a room you occupy as a safe space? You could do whatever you wanted to me and no one would intervene to save me!” I asked with a bitter smile.

I think my outburst shocked me more than him, and that gentle curving smile only widened, as if it pleased him greatly that I had the gall to yell at him.

He leaned his ass into the edge of the dresser, gripping the edge with both hands. I definitely didn’t notice the way his forearms flexed with the motion, something that should have served as a reiteration of the power imbalance between us.

He was twice the size of me, tall and broad and covered with muscle that should have been fucking illegal. It was like walking around with a loaded gun, a weapon constantly at his disposal, except where a man with a gun could be disarmed, this was just part of him.

Innate and unnerving, he and Leviathan were the biggest creatures I’d ever seen. Monstrously beautiful and terrifying all at once.

“Why would you need anyone to save you from me?” he asked, tilting his head to the side as he tried to figure me out.

I felt that gaze poking at me, trying to learn every secret that was mine to keep.

It was bad enough he knew that Itan had harmed me because of the way Willow had executed him, because of the way I’d supported that decision and stood up when she’d put him on trial unexpectedly.

I didn’t regret it. Nothing could make me regret knowing his life had ended with my name fresh in his mind, but I hated the vulnerability it brought.

The wounds it had opened for all to see.

“Because you’re dangerous,” I said, spitting the words at him.

He flinched, his head kicking back as if I’d struck him. He took a single, slow step toward me, pausing when I tensed. “When have I ever harmed you?” he asked, his brow tense. His mouth had turned down ever so slightly into a frown, as if it wasn’t just me who needed that reminder.

I didn’t have an answer to that, and I hated it. He might have frightened me and made it clear that he held disdain for my kind, but he’d never harmed me so much as just… watched me.

“You’re right about one thing,” he said, daring to take another step toward me.

“I am dangerous, but not to you, songbird,” he said, staring at me as if he could press the intention of those words into me and make me believe them.

“You’re important to Willow and she is important to Lucifer.

For that reason alone, I will never harm you.

But even if that weren’t true, you are not some helpless damsel who cannot protect herself. All you’d have to do is sing.”

It was my turn to flinch, turning my stare away at the prospect of using my magic against someone intentionally.

After the consequences it held for me even when I hadn’t meant to do it, I could never bring myself to purposefully put someone under my spell.

It would take away their will, and that would make me just as evil as Itan.

“I won’t do that,” I said, dismissing the notion immediately. Perhaps it would have been better to lead him to believe that I would enthrall him entirely if it meant my survival, that I would control him to keep him from harming me.

But even if he’d tried to hurt me, I didn’t think I could bring myself to do it. I didn’t think I could bring myself to become a monster like Itan, to strip away someone’s consent in such a way…

Even if he was hurting me, I didn’t want to make anyone become a slave to my will.

“Why not?” Beelzebub asked, his curiosity practically burning a hole in the side of my face.

“Hell isn’t safe for the living, and I can only do so much to protect you.

I need to know that you’ll protect yourself if it comes to it.

I learned enough about the Reds while I was in Hollow’s Grove to know that enthralling your enemies is how your kind defend yourselves, so why wouldn’t you—”

“It’s none of your fucking business,” I snapped, shocking him with the venom in my voice. I drew in a deep breath, forcing my feet to move forward and picking up the needle and thread from the bed. “Now sit down and put your hands in your lap before I change my mind.”