Page 13 of The Cut

‘Name?’

‘Nathan Knot.’

‘Age?’

‘Um … I’ll be fourteen in May.’

‘Height?’

‘Umm … dunno … probably not tall enough.’

‘OK, Nathan, now tell me something about yourself that no one else knows.’

The camera was moving very slowly upwards from chin and clenched lips to an anxious pair of eyes that darted between the lens and someone sitting slightly to the left.

His body language said everything. Pale hands, clenched prayerlike, slid down between his knees and his shoulders hunched into a shrug.

His cheeks flushed into the deep crimson of embarrassment.

‘Um … well. I don’t know what to say.’

‘Tell me a secret.’

Timid eyes flicked in the direction of the person beside the camera again.

‘I … I can’t.’ One of his shoulders lifted higher than the other, as his chin buried itself into the other shoulder. He was coy and self-conscious. ‘Can I do this on my own, please? I’m embarrassed with you here.’

Nathan reached out to pause the video. ‘Sorry, I just can’t … not with you watching me.’ 68

Dani was sitting with the piece of paper she’d printed off earlier scrunched in her hand.

‘Well, if you really want to be an actor, you better get used to everyone looking at you, pet … even me.’ Nate chewed his lip nervously and shrugged.

‘There will be other kids auditioning too, you know.’ She saw the colour drain from his face.

‘But they’re not like you, Nate. You’re talented. ’

Nate frowned. ‘I don’t know. This is just the first round. I think we have to get selected, then meet the director. What if he doesn’t like me?’

Dani smiled. ‘Just be yourself.’

Getting permission to audition for the film should have been straightforward, but like most things Nate wanted to do, his dad was reluctant to agree.

His bedroom was its own mini film studio, and he had all the bells and whistles for making great-quality video content; how hard could it be?

There was a list of questions he needed to answer on camera, about height and weight and experience.

Did he have an agent? Of course, Nate didn’t have one, but over the dinner table earlier, Dani had come up with a plan: she would act as his manager.

‘OMG! Dani struts around the field like she’s Jürgen Klopp at Anfield. You sure you want to let her loose on your acting career?’ Lily stuffed a meatball in her mouth with one hand as she scrolled TikTok videos with the other.

‘Oi, you. Watch it! Barton Mallet Girls are on the map now thanks to me.’ Dani sipped a glass of wine. ‘I’m great at organising, aren’t I, hon?’ She nudged Ben with her knee under the table.

‘Hmm … What’s it about?’ Ben sat back and folded his arms, one eye on the BBC six o’clock news playing on the TV in the den.

‘What’s what about?’ Nathan glanced at his sister.

‘This silly film, genius.’ Lily inclined her head sarcastically. Nathan was silent. 69

Ben gently picked up the remote control and muted the TV. He sighed and turned to Nathan with a tight smile. ‘Tell me all about this film then, son.’

‘Um … I don’t know really. It’s kind of improvised. Found footage. Have you heard of The Hoax ? Same director, apparently.’ Nathan pushed spaghetti around the plate and squirmed uncomfortably in his chair. His eyes shot over to Dani for help.

‘You’re joking? I was just watching that on Netflix. They’re not going to cast you. Not in a million years.’ Lily didn’t glance up from her phone.

Ben’s attention was pulled back to the TV, images of HMP Gartree and a man’s mugshot on screen.

‘Will you be galloping around the school playing field wearing a cardboard box horse again?’ Lily sniggered into her can of Fanta.

‘Shut it! It’s got nothing to do with school.’ Nathan reddened and chewed his lip, toes curling inside his socks under the table. He looked to Dani again. Help me out here.

‘“Found footage” is, apparently, how they made, er … Paranormal Activity , was it? … and … The Blair Witch Project . Remember that one, Ben? Bloody terrifying that was.’ Dani had clearly been on Google and IMDb.

Nathan was done. ‘Can I get down, please?’

Dani pushed her plate aside and reached for the half-empty bottle of Pinot to replenish her glass. ‘Your dad and I are excited for you. Aren’t we?’ She kicked Ben under the table. ‘A chance to earn himself a bit of pocket money.’

Ben’s head turned back to Nathan. ‘Wait … what? It’s a paid job?’ The wheels in his mind creaking into action.

Dani ruffled Nate’s hair. ‘I expect so.’

‘How much?’ Now Nate really had his dad’s full attention. 70

Dani put her wine glass down and stood up. ‘Oooh, I should say … a couple of million at least.’ She rolled her eyes as both Lily’s and Ben’s heads snapped round to her. ‘I’m joking! No idea how much. It’s not about the money, though, is it, love?’

Nate jumped down from his stool and headed to the door.

‘Er, Nate … dishwasher … I’m not your personal slave.’ Dani rubbed imaginary cash between her fingers. ‘Not yet anyway.’

Nathan trudged back and obediently dumped the dirty plate into the dishwasher. Just as he was leaving, Dani pulled him in for a hug. ‘It’s very exciting, pet. Just don’t get your hopes up. There’ll be lots of boys auditioning, OK?’

‘Only boys?’ Lily glared angrily at her brother.

Dani kissed Nate on the cheek, which made him squirm. ‘Give me a shout if you need coaching. I’m more than happy to help. You know I once played Sally—’ She hadn’t finished the sentence before Lily jumped in.

‘ Understudied in the local am-dram production of Cabaret . Yawn!’ Lily’s hand clapped over her open mouth, taunting her.

Dani flicked her hair and pouted at Lily. ‘I’ll have you know I was pretty good. I got on for two matinee performances as Sally Bowles.’

‘Sally Bowels, more like – crapping herself, I heard!’ Lily was up from the table in a shot, laughing as Dani launched herself into a tickle tackle.

‘I got a standing ovation.’ Dani laughed as Lily struggled to get away.

‘Only because they were leaving.’ Both of them were now in fits of giggles.

Later that night, after dinner was cleared and the house had settled down for the evening, Ben, having suddenly cultivated an intense interest in Nate’s trajectory to stardom, had encouraged 71 Dani to go up to his room and help him win the role.

They were both pleased he’d found something he wanted to get involved in.

It was better than him being stuck upstairs alone in that bedroom all the time.

Dani also believed in her own talent as a manager, or ‘momager’.

Yes, she could totally see herself picking up Instagram collabs and walking down red carpets.

Now she was standing at the side of Nathan’s camera, with the list of questions in her hand. ‘All right, love, you do your thing. I’ll be downstairs if you need me.’

‘Thanks.’ Nathan waited for the door to close. The footsteps on the stairs faded away and he was alone. Just him and the camera.

In life, this boy’s face wouldn’t be one you’d notice; he was just a regular, awkward kid.

But on screen in high definition, this face was a landscape of hope and promise.

Deep-set lids and intense dramatic brows, his irises were a kaleidoscope of soft brown hues, with flashes of gold.

Long neck, pale skin, freckled and sensitive, wild wavy auburn hair.

In close-up, the camera did something to Nathan Knot.

He’d need to change that name, of course, but he was a star in the making.

Nathan exhaled and looked down to his hands before he began to speak.

It was as if the floodgates of his memory had been swung open. Now that he was alone, the story flowed out of him.

This was no ordinary audition. This was no stage school kid. Nathan Knot had something special and the most compelling thing of all was that he didn’t know it.

None of them knew. 72