Page 59 of The Cruel Dawn (Vallendor #2)

Jadon’s gaze is fixed on the wasteland before him.

His body tenses, his fists clenched at his sides as if he’s willing the realm to change.

“I won’t let him take this place,” he says, nodding, his voice thick with resolve.

But the land around him echoes with doubt.

“My fathers can only kick over a few chairs, but you, Kai, you own this house—and they’ll both die knowing that. ” Then he takes my hand and kisses it.

I wince as the sting of his lips on my skin travels up to my wrist. Then he kisses the crook of my elbow, sores and all.

Lightning zigzags around my body and settles like a collar of heat around my neck.

His lips find mine, and I don’t feel the blade against my neck until he pulls away from me. “Call off Elyn,” he says, his grip tightening around the dagger’s hilt. “You know she means to kill me, Kai, and she will. I don’t want to die. You don’t want me to die. You love me.”

Tears fill my eyes, and my throat burns like it’s filled with sand. “To love you and save Vallendor—I can’t do both.”

But then, I’ve lost Vallendor. So why not die loving him? Because I’m not ready to surrender, even though I’ve lost.

I’ve lost because I failed to recognize the enemy—and that included Jadon Rrivae Wake.

Now, he holds a dagger to my throat, and he won’t need this blade to end my life. I feel my body chipping and tearing. I feel my muscles snapping. I feel my body screaming in protest as it dies, railing against the son of an emperor, the son of the traitor.

Jadon presses the blade harder against my neck. “Come with me, Kai. Let’s live the life we’ve talked about. Traveling. Eating foods we’ve never tried. Visiting shitty realms before they’re destroyed. We don’t have to stay here. You have the power to take us to some other realm, don’t you?”

“Yes.” The Glass of Infinite Realms will take me anywhere I want to go. I blink, and a fat teardrop rolls down my cheek. “No.” I’d never survive the journey with the traitor’s son as my companion—he is Miasma and would kill me before we even reached another realm.

Jadon shakes his head. “You still don’t understand how powerful I am now. I’m stronger than you. I’m more than you. What have you done to those who turn their backs on you? I could do the same, but I don’t want you to choose death. I want you to join me.”

In that dream, the one where Jadon and I lie together in the forest, I’d asked him to come with me, but he’d refused. And now, he wants me to join him as the realm burns all around us.

What if I said yes to him this time?

The realm would still burn all around us, but at least I wouldn’t be alone…

But that’s an illusion. I whisper, “I can’t.”

He backs away from me.

My neck stings from the blade and his poisoned lips, because of who he is.

This new pain spreads across my chest and settles on top of the old hurts.

The last plates of my pewter armor crumble into the sand; I’m back in just my bandeau and breeches as my knight continues to kill me softly.

“You’re wrong in this, Jadon,” I say, sinking onto my side.

“The love you demand from me isn’t love.

I’m not one of your hostages in that jail.

But know this: I will hunt you down the ends of Vallendor, even in my march toward death, because I loved them. ”

Lively. Veril. Prince Idus. Even Gileon Wake.

I will wander Anathema in pursuit of those who did Vallendor wrong. Once I find them all and punish them for their sins, I will speak the word and pray that my dedication to Vallendor will be counted toward whatever reward or punishment awaits me beyond the gates of Anathema.

Jadon steps away from me but grips the dagger tighter. “I don’t want to die. How is that wrong? I want to be with you. How is that wrong?”

“Neither desire is wrong,” I say, whispering now as the world starts to gray. “But you can’t always get what you want.”

“I have no choice here,” he growls. “Either I do as you say, or I do as my father says. Either path leads to my death. Is that my fate? It doesn’t matter, because this time, I’m choosing me.”

“You are your own savior now?” I ask, my eyes closing.

“Yes.”

Now, I stare at the man who no longer resembles the blacksmith I loved or the prince who tended to me so gently in that cave.

The warmth I once found in his gaze has faded, replaced by a hollow, dangerous intensity that I no longer recognize.

His anger and fear transform his smile into a sneer—sharp, cruel, and newly bitter.

His brows furrow with frustration and pain.

The muscles in his jaw tighten. He holds himself as a man straining between two realities, both destroying him from the inside out. Another rotting apple.

He stands rigid, a sour-smelling sickness rolling from him in waves. His vibrant eyes dim. The person I once knew is slipping away.

Where is the man who was my friend just a moment ago? The one who’d just promised to organize a motley army of Vallendor’s mortals to fight for me? Where will he go in his death, beyond those gates?

“Is this goodbye, then?” Jadon asks, his face softer for just this moment.

I whisper, “This is goodbye.”

“Then…” He scoops me into his arms, then presses his nose against mine. “ Hear the humble plea of Thy devoted servant seeking the grace of your Divine touch. You are the realm to me, Kaivara Megidrail, gentle Lady of the Verdant Realm.” And he kisses me.

I accept his prayer and his kiss, and he tastes of blackberries, rum, honey and…metal and blood and death.

He takes my breath away.

I push him away, and he lets me fall into the dust.

My throat grows tight. He stoops beside me. “Look upon me with your Divine favor, quickening my sword and supplanting my weaknesses with your strength.” He’s still praying even as he reaches for my amulet.

The amulet’s thorax glows, and its light dances across his hard face.

I lift my hand to stop him. My skin is a dying mess of purples and yellows.

Jadon yanks the pendant, and the chain breaks around my neck.

Will he take my blade? Does he know he will die if he does, and the linionium in his markings will find their next source?

Is Danar Rrivae close by? Is he watching and waiting?

It doesn’t matter anymore.

Ice crackles across my shoulders—my armor is gone.

I blink, and the world tilts until the sky is beneath me.

I blink and see Jadon’s boots backing away from me.

I blink, the sky is gray.

I’m alone.

Linione.

No moths. Spryte depleted.

I blink, and a bank of fog surrounds me. Lights twinkle in this new gloom. The wind roars.

My heartbeat slows…

Those dead windwolves circle me. They laugh, and they howl.

You always fail.