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She may have looked in control—her lovely hazel eyes, with their shards of blue, brown, and green didn’t waver as she stared him down.

And she sounded coolly in control, but the pink suddenly staining her cheeks told a different story.

“You’re saying you’re not attracted to me, Ella?

” His mouth curved upward, and he moved ever so slowly closer to her.

“Is that a challenge? Because you know I could test that out right now… I could reach out and do this.” And he ran a single finger down her cheek. “Or this—”

As though coming out of a daze she batted his hand away.

But it was the glisten of building tears in her eyes that snapped him back to reality.

Freaking hell. What was he doing! Her words, broken and raspy, added the final layer of cold water.

“Leo, stop. D-do you even know what you’re doing?

Are you thinking about this? Really thinking? ”

Of course he wasn’t. Groaning, he scraped a hand through his hair, and started to turn away.

Spun back. “You’re right. I’m not thinking.

I’m sorry, I…” What could he say? The words were a jumble in his lust-addled brain, and trying to make sense of them was suddenly beyond him.

“I’m really sorry, Ella. I’ve got no excuse…

Get your shower. The kids will be awake before we know it. ”

He didn’t wait to see her response, didn’t deserve another of her passes, just strode the length of the corridor to his room. And it felt like the longest walk of his life.

*

After her shower, Ella lay on the bed staring up at the ceiling. The warm water sluicing her body, streaming through her hair, hadn’t washed away the memory of Leo’s face as he’d challenged her to admit her attraction to him. His eyes seeing beyond the cool facade she tried so hard to maintain.

Had he expected she’d just fall at his feet? Admit she was a blithering mess every time he was within touching distance? Even when he wasn’t? And if she had, it didn’t mean they could hurtle into a torrid affair.

She almost laughed out loud. Though there was nothing funny about any of it.

On the one hand it could be— would be —glorious; of that she had no doubt.

On the other? It was probably the most disastrous decision she could ever make, and not just because she’d eventually walk away with a broken heart.

Her reasons went much deeper than she could ever admit to Leo Halligan.

Yet, despite her muddled feelings, this time pondering made one thing very clear.

It was time she and Leo talked. Really talked.

Cleared the air. And they needed to lay some ground rules.

Otherwise, as perfect as this position was, and no matter how crushing it would be to walk away from Mia and Leo, she’d have to do just that.

Decision made, she took the few steps to her walk-in closet, eschewing the jeans she’d been wearing for practicality with the kids, and choosing the Burberry mini, pleated at hip level, and dragged out a fitted red knit top and black tights to go with it.

Another of Abbie’s contributions to her wardrobe, and while she hadn’t had much use for it on the ranch, she was counting on it to give her a layer of confidence; because the conversation wouldn’t be easy.

Emboldened by her outfit, she added an extra layer of courage with some makeup: mostly accentuating her eyes.

Though, once she’d made it back downstairs and found Leo, also showered, and hunched over a coffee at the kitchen island, she realized that maybe the outfit hadn’t been the right choice.

Alerted to her approach he looked across at her, his eyes still heavy with exhaustion as they traveled the length of her legs, before he lifted his gaze to her face.

Her choice of clothing and makeup had been chosen to bolster her confidence, but when his eyes lit with appreciation, all her determination melted.

And it took every ounce of her strength not to turn and run back upstairs.

“Ella—”

“Leo—”

He fell silent, waving her to continue.

“I think we need to talk. Set some ground rules.”

He nodded, and once more waved, this time toward the two-seater sofa by the fire.

Hesitating she asked, “I, er, do you think maybe we could go downstairs? There’s more room and um…”

“Sure. Yeah, good idea.”

Down in the games room she took one corner of the sectional, placing the baby monitors alongside her so as to ensure he couldn’t sit too close. Nodding his understanding, he sat, stretching out those long denim-clad legs out in front of him, jumping in before she could begin.

“Ella, again, I apologize. I had no right—”

“Stop, it’s not all your fault.” She sighed.

“I um… Well, there’s no way to begin without admitting what we both know anyway.

” She swallowed, crossed her legs, uncrossed them when his eyes followed the movement.

“You asked, challenged , me to admit that I find you attractive. And yes, I do. Very much so, but I…”

“Don’t want to get involved?”

“ Can’t get involved is closer to the truth,” she corrected.

“Because of Benny?”

That was the crux of it, but it was more complicated than just needing to give her son her complete focus.

“Yes, but there’s more to it than that. And I would beg you not to ask me to elaborate at this stage.

My point is that I am not in a position to get into any kind of relationship, especially one where I am living under your roof and in your employ.

And most especially not a casual fling.”

Concern underscored his response. “Are you in some kind of trouble, Ella? Because if you are, I could—”

“I’m not in trouble, well, not in any way you might imagine or could help with; but thank you. I’m assuming you were about to offer help?”

“So,” even as he nodded, Leo continued slowly, cautiously, “there is some kind of issue?”

“Please, Leo. I’d like to let it go if you don’t mind.”

He frowned, huffed out a half laugh that held no humor, cocked an eyebrow. “Those secrets I guessed at when we were at Java the other day?”

Ella shrugged. “Perhaps.”

“You don’t trust me?” There was hurt in his voice, and she understood. She was there to care for his child. How much more trust could he have shown in her? She got that he might expect some trust in return.

Sighing, she tried to explain. “It’s like the diamond versus the village analogy.

Some secrets are just not worth digging for, or sharing, if they’re going to undermine and threaten the collapse of the village.

The risk of exposing that diamond sometimes far outweighs any of the rewards of unearthing it. ”

She’d probably made it worse by using that analogy. It was evident he was still curious, probably even more so now, but he simply nodded, remained quiet for a minute before taking them back to the reason for their discussion.

“So, what do you propose we do? I’m asking because I’ve been beating my head against a brick wall.”

She relaxed back into the sofa. “I think we have to come to an agreement that we remain professional, that we try to contain any feelings or… I mean, surely that’s what you want as well?”

His sigh blew all the way over to her. “That’s the ridiculous part. I’d vowed since Hope died that I would put Mia first; that I’d never let her down like I did her mother. Which partially is why,” he added on a low growl, “my behavior earlier was so out of line.”

He was only supporting her view on how a relationship between them could be disastrous, if for different reasons.

Still, it stung to hear him put it so baldly.

“You didn’t fail Hope, Leo. The circumstances were out of your control, but I’d be being hypocritical to question your resolve.

Though, if you wanted my opinion, I think you’re being unnecessarily harsh on yourself. ”

“Yeah, well,” he began on a grim note, “the truth is I don’t have a great track record with women, so I’m not prepared to take that chance.”

“Because of Hope?” Even she heard the frown in her voice.

He pursed his lips, the ones she’d fantasized about but now knew firsthand that those fantasies hadn’t even come close to the glorious reality. Even calling on every ounce of self-control she possessed, she struggled to pull her eyes away.

After a long moment he responded, “She wasn’t the first.”

Oh. His words shocked her, but it felt wrong to prompt him.

“Her name was Kristina,” he finally said. “We were in college together. She was a trust fund kid, a bit wild, and at first, I was dazzled by her. Surprised even when she agreed to go out with me.” He blew out a long sigh. ‘She was wild and had no sense of self-preservation at all.’

In the next pause, Ella asked quietly, “She died?”

“No, but she could have. We were at a party. Her people, not mine, and I was ready to check out. Lots of alcohol and we were all underage. There was other stuff. Not my scene. That was bad enough; but these kids had money to burn and fast cars—very fast cars.”

“Ah, an accident?”

“Yep. Kristina wanted me to go joyriding with her and her friends in her sports car. They were going to buy drugs. I refused. I should have gone, they were all tanked. I told her it was dangerous, too many in the car. We had a fight, I guess you’d call it.

She stormed off, yelling that I was no fun and had ruined her night.

Said it would be my fault if they all crashed because I refused to drive them. ”

“Oh Leo.” He didn’t have to paint any more pictures.

“Her injuries were horrific. Loads of operations. She eventually recovered. I tried to keep in touch with her, but her parents blamed me and wouldn’t let me near her. Rationally I knew it wasn’t my fault, but still, the guilt of it ate at me for years. Then when Hope…”

“This is going to sound like tough love, but you weren’t responsible for either of those situations. People make their own choices, Leo. Did you ever talk to anyone about the Kristina thing? A professional?”

He huffed out another half laugh; one that lifted his chest. “Nah. Actually I’ve never spoken to anybody about it.

You’re the first—lucky you. Figured it was best just to move on.

There was nothing I could do, blocked at every juncture by her family, so…

” He shrugged. “Rodeo helped. And I gotta say, I’m not as eaten up now as I might sound.

I’ve pretty much made my peace with what happened in those situations, but they left a mark, a reminder if you like, that life is tenuous, and we have to stay alert.

” He paused. “And Mia is way too precious for me to lose focus, to take any risks.”

She sat quietly, honored he’d trusted her enough to share this experience in his life, but mostly just letting him process what he’d revealed.

Admiring him even more that he’d cared about those women, still cared and wished he’d done more.

Ella hurt for the unnecessary pain and guilt he’d endured, and his intention to deny himself a full life.

And deny Mia the chance to have a mother because he doubted himself.

All the while feeling guilty that she didn’t dare share her own secrets.

It hurt that she, who loved Mia as much as any mother could, was unable to challenge him to take that chance with her. With Benny. To build a family…

All fantasy. But who wouldn’t want that dream? What mother wouldn’t want that kind of security and love for her child? What woman wouldn’t want someone as caring as Leo Halligan by her side?

Lost in the cruelly tantalizing what-ifs , his voice, stark and raw, startled her. “But we haven’t actually solved our problem, have we? Where do we go from here?”

“Perhaps we have to limit the time we have together. That would be a starting place.”

The sudden flash in his eyes was contrary to what came out of his mouth, she was sure of it. “Sounds like a plan.”

Really what else could they do? Considering this, Ella stood to make her retreat. What was that saying? Begin as you plan to continue?

But when Leo reached out, white heat shot through her, laughing at all her good intentions.

She wasn’t sure what he read in her face, but he removed his hand just as quickly as he’d reached out to her.

Instead, he stood, faced her full-on—all that strength, virility, gorgeousness—all just a hand-stretch away. His expression stole her breath.

Leo… Don’t do this…

He didn’t say the words she sensed simmered below the surface, and when he did speak, she wondered if his request was what he’d actually intended, had it not been for the sincerity in his tone.

“I just wanted to clarify one thing; can we still do some stuff together?” He shrugged. “The kids seem to get a kick out of it, and it’s probably good for them… Healthy?”

She crossed her arms, tried to brush away the goosebumps that his touch had feathered across her skin, even through her sleeves—worried the peaking of her nipples would be evident through the tight knit sweater, worried he’d see and…

No! Just, no!

Drawing in as much air as her lungs could accommodate, she straightened, strove for calm, aware she might be coming across a bit clinical, but needing that to anchor herself.

“I suppose certain situations could be considered.”

“Like furniture shopping?” He frowned. “Before—all this—I was going to suggest we head to Bozeman in a day or so to choose furniture. I’d appreciate your suggestions but if you don’t feel comfortable, I’ll just take advice from the staff. Either way is okay.”

“Furniture?” He badly needed it; they all did. And she’d basically promised. “Yes, that would be an, um, well, fine. Benny and I would love to accompany you and Mia.”

It seemed a perfect moment to escape but his voice reached her as she began mounting the carpeted stairs.

“Ella?”

She turned.

“Thank you.”

She would have been fine with a mere thank-you . It would have sufficed. But he added a smile. A full-blown, eyes-crinkled smile.

And a wink.

Thank goodness she hadn’t ascended very high, or she’d have tumbled right back to the bottom. As it was, she was saved only by clinging to the banister for a moment before she nodded and shakily made her way upwards.

Sure, you can do this , an evil inner voice scoffed. Sure! Easy as pie. Just as long as he doesn’t smile at you, or speak to you in that deep rumbling voice that skitters so lightly across your nerve ends, or laughs… Or breathes…

Yet, somehow, she had to. It was that or leave.