Page 13 of The Courtesan’s Protector (About An Earl #4)

CHAPTER 12

I n truth, Ripley hadn’t expected Jane to discuss their painful conversation. It wasn’t in her nature to do so, and since she was already drowning in so many fears and responsibilities over her sister, he hadn’t pushed.

So they’d made love and eaten the food he’d brought up for her and then done it all again. It was as if what had been said at supper never happened.

And now he observed her across the carriage seat, watching her worry her hands in her lap as she stared out the window like she could find her sister faster if she caught the first glimpse of the seminary where Nora had been last seen. She hadn’t looked at him for the past three-quarters of an hour. She was putting up walls, balling up her pain in a place he couldn’t reach. It broke his heart.

“There it is,” she breathed.

He leaned forward to look. There was a big manor rising in the distance. It was impressive, that was for certain, with gabled windows and spires.

“I’ll want to speak to Miss Knightly, the headmistress,” she said. “The awful woman who wrote me the letter about Nora being missing.”

The color was gone from her cheeks and he took her hand. She glanced at him. “I’ll be there,” he said.

She worried her lip and he was brought back to a moment the previous night when he’d done the same, nipping her there while she rippled around his cock in orgasm.

“May I…would you mind if I repeat the lie you told the innkeeper yesterday?”

He swallowed hard. “You mean that you’re my wife?”

She nodded. “Miss Knightly may not know exactly what I am… was . She never would have allowed my sister to attend her seminary if she had, but she’s always judged me regardless. She might be easier if she sees me in the respectability of a marriage.”

He tried not to let his heart race at the idea of her as his wife, just as he’d struggled to do the previous day, and merely said, “I understand. Mrs. Ripley you’ll be and I’ll do all I can to smooth the interaction.”

“Thank you,” she gasped out, her relief obvious. Her hand fluttered as if she wished to take his, but she kept it in her lap and they were silent as the carriage stopped on the large circular drive before the school. He stepped out first and guided her from the carriage. She stared up into his face and she was so pale that all he wanted to do was sweep her up and rush her off to safety.

Only he couldn’t. So he merely tucked her hand into the crook of his elbow and said, “We will find her, Jane.”

And he hoped that promise wouldn’t be another lie that would break her heart and soul.

* * *

J ane picked at a loose thread on her sleeve as she and Ripley sat in a small parlor where they’d been placed after asking to see Miss Knightly. She could hear the soft voices of young women talking and giggling in the hallways. She could see more of them outside on the grounds. She shook her head. Would she even recognize Nora if she saw her out there? After all, she hadn’t seen her sister for years. She wasn’t a little girl anymore.

The door to the parlor opened and Miss Knightly entered the room. She was a tall woman with sleek black hair pulled back tightly in a bun. She had a severe face, all hard angles and lines that commanded respect.

“I was not expecting you,” the woman said with no preamble as Jane staggered to her feet. Ripley did the same, though with much more ease. “It is a breach of good manners, Miss Kendall.”

Jane felt herself shrink a little. The unspoken implication was that Miss Knightly had expected no less from a person such as her.

Before she could formulate some kind of response, Ripley stepped forward. “She is Mrs. Ripley now. And you must be Miss Knightly.” He extended his hand. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

The woman seemed flummoxed as she looked Ripley up and down. “I…er, I hadn’t realized you had married. My felicitations.”

“Yes,” Ripley said, and placed a light hand on Jane’s waist. “It’s very new.”

Miss Knightly cleared her throat, giving Ripley one more glance before she focused those sharp eyes back on Jane. “I imagine you are here regarding your sister.”

“Yes,” Jane managed, and tried to put herself back together. “There has still been no sign of Nora since she left your care. Your letter gave me so few answers, I must understand what happened. What the circumstances were of her departure.”

Miss Knightly’s lips pursed. “And I gave you all the particulars I knew in the letter. It cannot be a surprise to you that Honora has done something so wild. I sent you the various reports of her behavior over the last year. Not every young woman wishes to be respectable, Miss… Mrs . Ripley.”

Jane stiffened her spine. “My sister attended your school without incident for the better part of a decade. It was only in the last year that she changed. Did that not trouble you? Did you not question the reasons rather than merely judge her for them?”

Miss Knightly huffed out a breath. “You’ve wasted your time coming here, Mrs. Ripley. I’ve nothing else of value to share.”

Jane gripped her hands at her sides, but before she could scream or lash out or burst into tears, none of which would help, Ripley stepped forward.

“Now then, Miss Knightly, surely you must understand my wife’s concern. She knows what a fine job your institution has done with Honora. We only wish to uncover where she might have gone so that we might collect her and return her to her loving family.”

“The family that did not allow her home during holidays?” Miss Knightly snapped.

Jane turned her head. No, she hadn’t let Honora home over the years. Where could she have sent her? Back to their mother and her abuse? To Jane’s home where what she did and was would have been increasingly clear to an impressionable girl?

Ripley’s jaw set. She could see the shift in him from his initial attempts to soothe this woman to more intense anger at her responses. “I would not question Jane’s love for her sister if I were you, Miss Knightly.”

The headmistress looked at him, was intelligent enough to see the warning through his quiet admonishment, and she swallowed. “Of course not.”

Jane drew in a short breath and tried again. “And understand I’m not questioning your seminary, either. Over the years I could see the good influence you had on Nora. Perhaps I did fail in my duties to her, but I don’t want to do that now, not when it could be a matter of life or death. Please, please won’t you consider what you might know, even something that seems unimportant?”

Miss Knightly put her hands on her hips. “Is there an issue of understanding, Mrs. Ripley? There is nothing I can tell you.”

Jane turned her head and bit back a roar of pain and frustration. Ripley reached for her and took her hand, squeezing gently. In that moment she saw the question in his stare. She understood, without him having to say a word, that he was requesting her permission to unleash a dragon, since something softer and more proper hadn’t given them results. She hesitated briefly and then nodded.

The change in him was immediate. His gaze darkened, his shoulders came back a fraction and he turned to Miss Knightly with a focused stare.

“I’m a very good judge of character, Miss Knightly,” he said, his voice still dangerously soft. “I can read people—it’s a special gift I developed in a life a person like you would easily dismiss. I noticed you said you couldn’t tell my wife more, not that you didn’t know more. A slip, something minor in theory, but I think words having meaning. I can tell you know more about what happened to Jane’s sister.”

“I—” Miss Knightly’s eyes widened. “No.”

His nostrils flared ever so slightly, but Jane still looked for smoke to curl from them. Fire. “Let me explain to you what will happen next. You will tell us everything you know about Nora’s disappearance and turn over any evidence you have about where she’s gone. You’ll also grant us access to speak to Nora’s friends.”

“I’m telling you I know nothing.” Miss Knightly folded her arms, but she looked less certain. “And I cannot just allow you to speak to anyone you wish to.”

Ripley continued as if hadn’t spoken at all. “If you don’t do this, then I’ll have no choice but to post a notice about her going missing into every paper in this country. And I’ll be certain to include the fact that she disappeared from this establishment under your care.”

Jane jerked her gaze to him and then back to Miss Knightly. The headmistress’s cheeks had gone pale. It seemed Ripley had hit upon a consequence that actually mattered.

“You can sit up there on that high horse, but what you do is perform a service.” Ripley arched a brow. “And people like you live and die on your reputation. I doubt you want the entire country to know it isn’t safe to send their daughters to you because you’d be so careless as to lose them. Do we understand each other better now?”

Miss Knightly opened and shut her mouth and she looked at Jane, but this time it seemed she was seeking assistance. Jane stepped up closer to Ripley and slid a hand through his elbow. He reached his other hand across and covered hers and it was like he pulled away some of the weight of her fear. They faced this woman as a united front and Jane was utterly aware of the moment Miss Knightly realized she was not facing off with individuals without power.

The headmistress let out a long, shaky sigh. “We understand each other perfectly, Mr. Ripley. Of course you and your wife have concerns about Honora. I’ll…I truly don’t have much information.”

Ripley’s expression was softer now that he’d won. Jane was fascinated by that. He only pushed to the point that he needed to. He didn’t use power as a cudgel. But then again, that was how he’d fought in the ring, as well. She remembered so many fights when he’d backed off the moment his opponent was stunned, even when the crowd demanded more violence and blood.

“We’ll be grateful to have all you know,” he said.

“While Honora’s behavior did become more difficult in the last year, the past few months were different,” Miss Knightly said slowly. “She was disciplined more than once for skipping classes or being found absent from her dormitory at night.”

Jane gasped. “You wrote to me about some poor behavior, but never that she was missing like that.”

Ripley squeezed her hand gently and she looked up at him. She saw his gentle understanding, his support, but she also saw that he was trying to rein her in. He was the one who wasn’t emotional about this situation. She dropped her head.

“Please continue,” she whispered.

Miss Knightly shifted. “I have some of her things that were left behind. I intended to send them on to you when I had the time. But that’s truly all I know.”

Jane pulled away from Ripley and paced over to the window. She could hardly breathe as the facts hit her from all sides. This was no information at all, unless somehow her sister had left clues of what had happened to her in her things. And why would she do that? Nora was no fool, she had always been clever. If she’d left of her own volition, she wouldn’t have wanted anyone to find her. And if she hadn’t…well, how would she have known to leave breadcrumbs for a sister desperate to find her?

So this trip, just like the one to see her mother, was a waste of time. They were no closer to finding her sister and now she had no idea of what to do next.

She heard Ripley speaking softly to Miss Knightly, but she couldn’t hear the words. She continued to stare out into the garden behind the school, watching as girls strolled by in pairs. Every time she saw one with dark blonde hair like her sister, she caught her breath.

“Oh, Nora, where are you?” she whispered.

She heard the door behind her close and pivoted. Miss Knightly had departed and Ripley was coming toward her in a few long strides. She stepped into his arms without hesitation and he held her tightly, as if he could somehow save her with just his warmth and presence.

He almost could.

She looked up at him at last. “I’ve wasted so much of your time and money.”

He shook his head. “You haven’t done either of those things. We know now that she was restless and unhappy and that something changed in the last few months of her being here. That leans toward her leaving the school of her own volition. And that’s better than her being taken, isn’t it? Miss Knightly said she would bring the items Nora left behind and also have Nora’s two best mates join us shortly to discuss the matter further.”

Jane pulled away from his arms and let out her breath in a shaky sigh. “Thank you for managing this. I would never have convinced her to do anything at all for me.”

“That’s why I’m here,” he said. “To support you however you need me to do so.”

She smiled despite the situation. “When you were facing off with her I kept thinking of how you were in the ring. You were treating her like a fighter.”

His lips tightened. “Well, I certainly didn’t intend to take the confrontation to violence.”

She shook her head. “Oh no, I didn’t mean that. I meant that when you fought, you fought with your mind. You were always thinking, I could see it back then. It was always such a beautiful thing to watch you. And you used those same tools today. I never would have thought to threaten her with blows to her school’s reputation.”

“You see me through rose glass,” he said with a smile. “Just because of a few orgasms.”

“More than a few,” she teased back gently.

He shrugged. “I suppose that to threaten to reveal the lack of care toward her charges was the best strategy under these circumstances.”

“You see,” Jane said. “Always thinking. Do you…do you miss fighting?”

He swallowed. “I assume you’re asking me this to pass the time until we can question Nora’s friends?”

She nodded. “It helps to think of something else. But also, I’m curious. I’ve watched you fight, I’ve seen you train others, but we’ve never talked much about it, and it was and is such a big part of who you are.”

He shifted, and in that moment she realized that this was an uncomfortable topic for him. Despite the fact that he’d been a champion, that he was the best at what he’d done and that he continued to make his living from his skills, he found no pleasure in discussing it.

“You don’t have to tell me,” she said softly.

“You’ve cut yourself open for me. I suppose it is an even trade.” He let out a shaky sigh. “I originally fought because I had to. I didn’t want my mother to have to do what she did. Some of her protectors were fine enough and treated her with some level of respect. But others weren’t. I wanted to…to save her.”

Jane caught her breath. How often had she thought the same of her mother, especially when she was younger. In her case she thought if she could save her, her mother would be better.

“I turned to fighting to make money eventually. Found I was good at violence.” He shook his head. “You speak of my days in the ring as if they were something to be proud of. But I hurt people for money.”

“No,” she said. “I suppose sometimes that was the outcome. But don’t forget that I watched you, Cam.”

They both froze as she realized she had called him by that shortened version of his first name. The one she only used when they were intimately entangled. But then again, this conversation felt intimate when it was all about pain and regret. About a self-judgement she wanted to ease.

“I watched you, Cam ,” she repeated so he’d know it wasn’t something she apologized for. “I saw what you did in when you fought. You never went further than the fight required. Your opponents stepped into the ring with as much information as you did. They knew the risk as much as you did. But you were one of the few champions who never killed an opponent. That was because you weren’t doing it to hurt others.”

He rubbed a hand over his face. “No, I suppose that was never my goal.”

“I know it wasn’t. Do you know why people loved to watch you? Why those who came to see you still remember you and pay for your drinks?”

“Why?”

“Because there was poetry to you in the ring,” she said, and stepped toward him. She didn’t touch him, but looked up into his eyes, holding him steady just as he’d been holding her steady since her sister’s disappearance. “It was like dance with you. A graceful control of every muscle, every fiber of your being. An almost preternatural focus on your opponent.” She did reach up now and traced the scar she’d been part of creating. “Well, most of the time.”

He caught her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm. “I think you credit me too much.”

“And you credit yourself too little. So perhaps the truth lies somewhere in between.”

The door to the parlor opened and Ripley released her as they faced Miss Knightly’s return as a unit. She held a small box in her hands.

“This is all there is left,” she said, and handed it over to Ripley.

Jane stared. “That’s all? No clothing, nothing else of value?”

“It appears she took it all with her,” Miss Knightly said. “Now I have Miss Fairfax and Miss Greenwich to speak to you. I’ll send them in.”

She pivoted and left the room. Jane gripped the box with all her might. “There’s so little.”

“And that’s another mark in the column that Nora left on her own volition,” Ripley said.

“I suppose that’s true,” Jane whispered, and tried to be cheered by that fact. It was the better of the possible scenarios.

She straightened as two young women came through the door to the study. They were both about the same height as she was. Both were very pretty, one all curves, the other willowy. They were women, not girls. And that meant her sister was a woman, too. It was so hard to picture her that way and not as the child Jane had wept over when she left her at the school, knowing she would hardly see her again in order to protect her.

But she hadn’t protected her in the end, had she?

Miss Knightly followed them in. “This is Miss Fairfax,” she said, indicating the willowy girl with darker hair. “And Miss Greenwich.”

“Thank you, Miss Knightly,” Ripley said, moving to all but herd her from the room. “We won’t be long.”

“I think that—” Miss Knightly began, but he closed the door in her face.

Jane was grateful for it. She knew the girls would be less likely to speak in front of the headmistress if they thought they would get in trouble. She drew a long breath and then stepped toward them with what she hoped was a friendly smile rather than a desperate expression. She noted Ripley stood back, allowing her to handle them.

Once again, he was reading the situation, just as she’d complimented him for doing in the ring.

“Good afternoon, thank you both so much for agreeing to speak to me.”

The girls exchanged a quick glance and Miss Greenwich was the one who spoke. “You’re Nora’s sister, yes? That’s what Miss Knightly said.”

“I am,” Jane said. “And I know you two are her friends. So we all deeply care for her.”

Miss Fairfax pursed her lips a little, as if she didn’t entirely agree with that assessment, but she didn’t say anything about it. But the expression stung. It seemed Nora had spoken to her friends about Jane, and not in a positive light. She’d have to tread carefully.

“Nora is missing,” Jane said. “I think you both know that she disappeared from the school. I only want to know where she’s gone. If she’s safe.”

Miss Greenwich looked her up and down with the judgmental look only a young woman of a certain age could perfect. “She talked about you, you know. I don’t know why you’d pretend to care about her when you didn’t even see her all this time.”

Jane turned her head because the words hit like a slap. Ripley moved like he’d come forward, but she held up a hand. “I realize Nora was angry with me. She had every right to be. There were reasons I had to keep her from me and from our mother. I was trying to protect her and perhaps I didn’t do it well. I hurt her in the process, that’s clear now.”

How the truth of those words stung, reminding her of what her nature was. When she did find Nora, they would have a great deal to discuss, it seemed.

“We can save all of us a great deal of time,” Miss Fairfax said. “Neither of us knows anything about where Nora is or why she disappeared. Isn’t that right, Gertie?”

The other young woman dropped her gaze. “Yes. That’s right.”

Jane didn’t believe them. How could she when one of them wouldn’t stop looking at the floor and the other was holding such intense eye contact that it felt like an over correction? She shook her head. “Please. Whatever you think of me, know that I only want to be certain my sister isn’t in danger. Even if she ran away on her own, that doesn’t mean she isn’t in trouble.”

Miss Fairfax folded her arms. There was a steel in her stare, protective and unyielding. Jane wouldn’t get through to her—she’d already made up her mind about the situation and nothing that was said would likely break through that shell. But the other girl, Gertie, was shifting.

So Jane focused her attention on her. “Please,” she said more softly. “If you haven’t heard from her since she vanished, you must be concerned, even if you believe she left of her own accord. If she’s happy, I won’t bother her.” Not entirely true, perhaps, depending on the circumstances, but at this point honesty wasn’t the best policy. “Please, Miss Greenwich.”

The young woman lifted her gaze, but before she could say anything, Miss Fairfax caught her arm and tugged her closer. “We don’t know anything. There’s nothing else to say. Come, Gertie. We’re meant to be in lessons.”

She tugged the other girl toward the door.

“Oh no, please wait!” Jane cried out, rushing toward them, but they were already bolting down the hall and Miss Knightly stepped in the way. She had clearly gathered herself and she appeared stern and unyielding again.

“It seems the young women are finished discussing whatever it is you wished to talk about, Mrs. Ripley. There’s nothing else to do or say. I’ll have your carriage brought back around. You can wait on the drive.”

Jane looked back over her shoulder at Ripley and he met her stare evenly. There was such comfort in that stare, such certainty that she couldn’t feel in this moment when it seemed like the floor had dropped out beneath her feet and all she could do was fall hopelessly.

He nodded at her slightly before he came to her and took her arm. Silently they walked to the foyer together and out onto the drive. Miss Knightly said a curt farewell that Jane hardly heard, and then she left them to wait.

“So much for her bloody manners,” Ripley muttered.

“She never knew what I was,” Jane said softly. “But she sensed I wasn’t worthy of manners, I suppose. As did those girls. They knew more, but they didn’t think I’d earned it.”

Ripley wrapped his arm around her. “We did find something out, though. Their lack of concern with Nora’s whereabouts, that says to me that they knew she intended to go. She ran, Jane. She wasn’t taken against her will.”

She nodded. “I suppose that’s something. Even though I know full well that just because she left with some grand future in mind doesn’t mean that’s what she walked into.”

Ripley drew a breath as if to respond, but before he could there was a tap on Jane’s shoulder. She swung around to find Miss Greenwich standing there. She glanced over her shoulder toward the house and then handed over a little folded message.

“What is this?” Jane said as she took it.

“That’s all I can do,” Miss Greenwich responded, and then bolted back inside.

Jane glanced up at Ripley. The carriage was arriving now, but she ignored it as she unfolded the note. The hand was sloppy and shaky, on a scrap piece of paper that had class notes written on the back. It read:

There was a young man. I don’t know his name, but Nora was going to elope.