Page 14 of The Countess's Awakening (The Lovers’ Arch #3)

CHAPTER 14

E sther had never slept an entire night with another person before. One of the many wonderful experiences she had been missing out on. Although she couldn’t imagine that sleeping next to anybody else could feel as wonderful as sleeping with Kai. His body lay nestled behind her, his arms embracing her, cocooning her in warmth and protection.

Even her aches from the previous night had vanished with no need for laudanum, as if his mere presence was a balm that healed her.

“Good morning,” he said with a slow smile as she turned within his embrace. “How do you feel?”

She returned his smile. “Much better. What about you?”

“Saner. Slept much better than I expected.” He brushed a lock of her hair off her face with featherlike gentleness. “Thanks to you.”

She stroked his cheek, and he closed his eyes as he leaned into her caress. “I’m glad I could be of help, after all you have done for me.”

He shook his head. “We are not keeping score. Helping you is good for me as well.”

“You don’t need to save me, Kai.”

“Is that what I’m doing?” he asked, looking away.

“In a way. Isn’t that what you have been doing all your life? Trying desperately to help people? Colin, myself. Countless others as well, I’m sure. Atoning.”

He sucked in a breath, cutting a quick glance at her, but didn’t protest her assessment.

“I want you to know something. As it pertains to me, whether or not I am able to walk again, it is not your fault. Nor your failure. I already consider the progress we have made a success.”

A corner of his mouth hitched in a sad half smile. “So do I, my little deer. But you will recover completely. And you know how I know?”

She shook her head.

“Because you are strong and courageous.”

“Me, strong and courageous?” She shook her head again. “I’m fearful and weak. Given to worrying and fretting.”

“You are a woman who has suffered great losses and has endured it all with grace and dignity. You dared to take a chance on my treatment, without guarantee of success, but you are working relentlessly to overcome your circumstances. You may have escaped opium addiction, when many others with less need for pain relief have succumbed to its lure. I still don’t know how you did it. I already admired you before Esther. Now I’m in awe of you.”

“Don’t.” She placed a finger on his lips. “Don’t put me on a pedestal.”

His lips opened under her finger, but before he could speak, a soft knock at the door interrupted their conversation. Kai jumped out of bed. “I can’t be found here. It could ruin your reputation.”

Esther laughed. “It’s probably just my maid. Besides, I’m not a girl fresh out of the schoolroom. I’m a widow of a certain age, and an invalid. Who is going to suspect me, or even believe me capable of misbehaving?” She smirked. “If you are found in my room in the morning, they are more likely to assume I fell ill during the night and needed medical attention.”

He laughed as he finished fixing his clothes and crossed the room to open the door. “And how wrong they would be. I know you are fully capable of misbehaving.”

At least the morning caller—one of the inn’s maids—had brought the news she anxiously awaited. A letter from Elizabeth had arrived, and as requested, the hotel had sent it to her immediately.

Esther almost ripped the paper in her haste to read her daughter’s words. She read the entire missive. Then, with eyes that prickled as they became flooded, read it again for good measure.

Wang was at her side in a thrice. “What is it, Xiǎo Lù ? Bad news? Is your daughter well?”

She smiled through her tears to reassure him. “Everything is fine. Elizabeth explains they are planning to cut the season short and retire to the country because of Abigail’s pregnancy. And she says she will miss me, but if there’s any hope I could get better, I should pursue it to the ends of the earth if need be. She encourages me to go to New York and promises to write often.” Esther held the letter against her chest. “My darling daughter. She has a heart of gold.”

“Takes after her mother.” He smiled, wiping a tear from her cheek. “Shall I purchase the tickets, then?”

Her gaze flew to him. This was it. Time to make a decision. There were no more excuses. Either she embarked on this voyage and took a chance at healing, or she remained where she was and accepted a partial recovery.

She nodded her head. “Yes, buy the tickets.”

“Excellent. I’m going to go out immediately to talk to the agent.” He jumped up to finish dressing. “There were only two first class suites left available on the ship, and I’d like to get them.”

“Wait!” she called after him.

First class suites were expensive. Even she knew that. She couldn’t expect him to pay for the trip. Could he even afford that? She had funds now, thanks to the settlement Colin had given her as his father’s widow. But how to approach the subject of money?

If she mentioned paying him now, after they had become lovers, would he be offended? Knowing his innate dignity, most likely. How did one navigate these tricky situations? With a regular doctor, the fee was paid, and that was the end of it. But he was more than a doctor, wasn’t he? He was her friend, her lover. And now the man offered to take her across the Atlantic, host her in his home in New York. Even act as her lady’s maid if needed… Was she taking advantage?

She offered a small smile. “I’ll pay for the ship’s tickets…”

“Don’t worry about that. I’ll take care of all the travel expenses,” he said while buttoning his waistcoat.

Her eyes widened at that. “I can’t let you do that! It wouldn’t be fair. You are already doing so much for me. I can’t accept—”

His eyes met hers through the mirror where he was standing to comb his hair. “Of course you can. I am offering of my own free will. Even though I’m not as rich as a lord, neither am I without means. I can well afford it, Esther.”

“But you shouldn’t.”

“But I want to. Let us not speak of this further. I’ll help you arrange access to your funds in case you need them. But I’ll be paying for the travel expenses, and that’s the end of the discussion.”

***

The Port of Liverpool was a bustling beehive of activity. From her perch in the carriage that brought them from the train station, Esther took in her chaotic surroundings, marveling at the cacophony of shouted orders, the screech of gulls circling overhead, and the salty tang of the sea. And then she spotted it. The SS China loomed in the distance, its sleek black hull gleaming in the morning light.

“The SS China ?” she exclaimed as the ship came into view, turning to glance at Wang. “Did you do this on purpose?”

Wang laughed. “Not at all. It was entirely a coincidence. This just happened to be the next ship departing for New York.”

“How fitting, then. It’s almost like a sign, I’m sure.”

“Don’t overthink it. It’s just the ship’s name.”

As the carriage drew next to the gangway of the ship, Wang was the first to jump out. He took her wheelchair out of the carriage in preparation to help her settle in it. She cast her gaze over the throng of passengers as he lifted her in his arms and deposited her in the chair, dismayed to find their arrival turned more than a few heads.

At one point, she had welcomed the wheelchair, as it allowed her to have some mobility. Of late, she had begun to hate the cumbersome contraption. It always garnered attention, made her feel like she was on display. People stared. Some with curiosity, some with pity. She tried to hide her mortification, but it was embarrassing to have to be carted around.

Soon.

This was the very reason she was making this trip. She vowed she would do all in her power so that, on the return trip, she would walk up the gangplank on her own two feet.

Wang handled all their arrangements with the calm efficiency that seemed to define him, always appearing at ease. Unaware or uncaring of people’s stares. It must be amazing to possess such unshakeable self-confidence. At the base of the gangway, he produced their tickets, presenting them to the shipping agent.

The agent, a stout man with a florid complexion, adjusted his spectacles and frowned.

“There appears to be an issue, sir,” he said, his voice tinged with regret. “While two first-class cabins were booked, I’m afraid only one remains available. The other has been double-booked.” He spread his hands in an apologetic gesture. “We deeply regret the error. We can offer a second-class cabin instead. And will, of course, refund the price difference.”

Wang’s dark eyes narrowed, but his tone remained measured. “This is unacceptable. Both suites were reserved and confirmed in advance. A refund does not address the inconvenience.”

Before the agent could stammer out another excuse, Esther placed a hand on Wang’s arm, her voice cutting through the tension with gentle authority. “There’s no need for us to quarrel, Kai. You’ll simply stay with me in the first-class cabin.” She turned to her maid, who had agreed to go with them to America, after all. “Margaret, would you like to take the second-class cabin? I’m certain you’ll manage admirably.”

Margaret nodded, a faint smile playing on her lips. “Of course, my lady. It’ll be no trouble at all. Would rather enjoy having a whole cabin to myself.”

Esther smiled, and the agent looked relieved at the resolution, though Wang’s lips pressed into a thin line.

“Are you sure this arrangement is satisfactory to you, Esther?” he asked.

“Of course. Isn’t it to you?” she replied in the same soft tone.

Something rich and possessive flickered in his eyes. “You know it is. I just don’t want to inconvenience you.”

“It’s no inconvenience at all. In fact, I prefer it this way.” She leaned closer to whisper for his ears only. “My maid snores. Sharing a cabin with you will be far more…pleasurable. Come, wheel me onto the ship.”

His gaze promised a world of pleasure as he grabbed the handles of her wheelchair and, together, they ascended the gangway and boarded the SS China .

The first-class cabin was as lavish as promised, with a plush bed, elegant furnishings, and a window offering a view of the bustling harbor. It even had a small parlor adjacent to the bedchamber. Her maid unpacked her trunks with the practiced efficiency of one who had performed the task hundreds of times. Then disappeared to settle into her second-class quarters without complaint, leaving Wang and Esther to survey their temporary home.

Wang paced around the cabin like a caged lion. “You’re remarkably adaptable, Esther.”

“And you’re remarkably protective. Let us not let this minor mishap ruin the excitement of this trip. I’ve never been out of England, you know? It’s my first time on a ship. I’m quite looking forward to this experience with you.” She gave him a wry smile. “But perhaps you are not as excited with this arrangement. Did I make a mistake in suggesting we share a cabin?”

He came to her, crouching next to her chair to be at eye level with her. “I just don’t want to cause gossip. An Asian man and a white woman sharing a cabin is unusual enough to be noticed.”

“Nobody on this ship is likely to know us or care what we do. Did you use my title on the ship’s manifesto?”

“No, only your name and last name. But that may be enough for someone to identify you.”

She shrugged. “If someone identifies me, and if that someone finds out we are sharing a cabin, we will just explain that you are my doctor, and I need your services at all hours.” She smirked before adding. “That’s not even a lie. We just won’t say what type of services.”

His face split in an unexpected grin, the shift in his mood as swift as the sun breaking through gray clouds. “You are a naughty girl, aren’t you? I can’t conceive anyone would look at you and not see the sensual, vibrant woman you are.”

“Trust me, they will believe it. People look at me and see only half a person, incapable of experiencing, or inspiring, passion. They seldom look beyond the surface. And as much as I hate my infirmity, I’m not above using it to my advantage.”

“Need my services at all hours, do you?” he teased, his tone turning from playful to intimate.

“I absolutely do.” She smiled at him with what she hoped was a sultry invitation.

“I’m at my lady’s service. Always.”

With that, he carried her to the bed, followed her down to lie on top of her, claiming her mouth in a possessive kiss. He removed her clothes slowly, unwrapping her like a precious gift, savoring every part of her body he uncovered.

They both settled into the rhythm of the ship’s departure. The hum of the engines and the call of the crew covered their moans and groans of pleasure. The rocking of the sea added to the motion of their bodies entwining, grabbing, straining. Desire rose, swelled, then crashed through them. Demanding their complete surrender.