Page 44 of The Compound

I figured I could last until nightfall without another drink, but it was difficult. I went to the kitchen to see if any other beverages were left and found Tom looking through the fridge. I tried to slip out without being seen, but he said, “Come here for a minute.”

I stepped back and saw him look me over. “You know the water’s off?”

“Yeah, I know.”

“So, are we doing the Communal Task, or what?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Maybe? You don’t want to take a shower? Or have a drink?”

“I was thinking of just leaving, actually,” I said.

“Bullshit,” he said.

“It’s not like we’ll last long without water. And obviously either me or Becca will lose the task. That means that either I’ll get banished, or I’ll be alone without another girl, with just you two. If I leave now, it’s painless.”

He studied me closely. “What’s stopping you then? I’ll walk you out now, if you want.”

“I’m still thinking it over,” I said.

He took a step toward me, and I took a step back.

Andrew appeared in the doorway just then holding the dustpan and brush.

We had never earned a hoover. He looked disheveled.

“I was just cleaning the bedroom,” he said.

“It was pretty, uh, disgusting. But it’s better, now.

I think we should all go back to sleeping in the same room.

We’ve gotten so distant. I don’t even know where Becca is,” he said.

“Do you know where she is?” Tom askedme.

“No,” I said.

Tom looked at his feet. “Do we know if she’s all right? She might be hurt.” I thought he sounded both genuinely worried and embarrassed that he was worried.

“She’s not in the house, anyway, and she shouldn’t be out in the sun,” Andrew said. “Neither should you, Lily. You’re red around your shoulders. Have you been sitting out in the open?”

“Sometimes,” I said.

“Better you stay inside, in the house. Without water, the heat will be so much more dangerous.”

“Andrew’s right,” Tom said. “Better to stay inside.”

Becca and I knew what we were doing, but so did they. They weren’t going to let me run loose, and go missing like Becca. They needed all of us in order to do the task.

“I think I’ll just stretch my legs,” I said.

“Don’t go far,” Tom said.

I wandered to the pool, and sat at its edge, letting my feet dangle into its empty space.

It seemed enormous now, emptied of water.

It was ugly, too—another gaping sore on the face of our compound.

I looked west, toward where Becca was hiding with the water.

I thought that Andrew would be the one to break.

If things went well, he would leave in a day or two out of sheer desperation, leaving Tom, weak and dehydrated, to do the task.

And hadn’t Becca said that she would go once Tom had?

At the end of this task, it could be just me alone in the compound, and I would be the winner.

My pulse raced in excitement, and I felt almost vindicated for not going with Sam.

If he had known how close I was to making it to the end—if he had known that I could best Andrew and Tom!

The problem was knowing whether or not I could trust Becca. There were no other options that I could see: as long as Becca had the water I was at her mercy.

I saw faint shadows of movement in the kitchen window, and knew that Tom and Andrew were standing there, watching. I stayed within view of them, and plaited my hair, and sang quietly to myself.

—

When I returned to the house that night, the kitchen was clean, the counters gleaming, the food all put away, the floor swept and washed.

It looked so nice that I wanted to cry. It was absurd, the difference that the clean kitchen made.

It felt like getting a second chance at life.

The thing is, I’m actually a clean person.

I like things neat and tidy; I just hadn’t seen the point recently.

Motivated by the cleanliness of the kitchen, I thought that I would sleep in my bed that night: change the sheets, get rid of all the clothes that were now lying on what had been Sam’s side.

When I went into the bedroom Andrew was already there. He was sitting on the very edge of his bed, as though he had been about to get up. “Hey,” Andrew said. He looked poorly, pale and drawn.

“You feeling okay?” I asked.

“I could definitely do with some water. My head is pounding, and it’s only been a day. Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just really thirsty, too.” I actually was thirsty: I shouldn’t have stayed out in the sun for so long. My mouth was dry, and my throat, too. Swallowing felt strange.

He gazed drearily at the blank wall. “I know that humans can survive without water for three days. Does that number change, though, if you’re in the desert? I mean, obviously they’re not going to let us die.”

“When we ran out of food,” I said, “they let us get pretty uncomfortable before we ate.”

He nodded. “I guess that by tomorrow we’ll be in a bad way. Christ, I’m uncomfortable already.” He looked at me for a moment. “Where did you go, earlier?”

“The tennis court, and then the boules area.”

“I think we should get Tom and find Becca. We need to do that task tonight.”

“Okay,” I said. I tried to appear tired but willing. “Lead the way.”

We went to Tom’s room—the gray room. Andrew knocked. “Buddy?”

“What?” Tom said from behind the door.

“We’re going to look for Becca,” Andrew said. The door opened and Tom appeared. The light was dim, but he looked as bad as Andrew. The room was clean—pristine, really—everything neat and orderly, but there was a faint smell that I realized, after a beat, was the smell of an unwashed boy.

“She hasn’t come in for food?” he asked us. Andrew shook his head. “All right, let’s go.”

It was cold outside. I rarely left the house after dark, and then usually only with Sam.

I missed him. I missed him so much that I considered going home right then and there.

I should have: I felt a sort of lightness in my head at the thought of it.

But then something like tiredness came over me, and I thought, a couple more weeks won’t make much of a difference.

I had stayed for the summer, but I would leave before winter came.

Someone—Jacintha, I think—had installed lights around the house, but in the dark their illumination didn’t go very far, and only a few meters past the house was pure darkness. “Hold on,” I said. “Let me check if there’s a torch in my room. I think Sam might have got one a couple of weeks ago.”

Tom turned to me. I could only see half his face, but the irritation there was easy to read.

“A torch would have been very useful a couple of weeks ago, Lily. You’re only telling us now?”

“I’ll only be a minute. Don’t go without me.”

I went into the kitchen and ducked low, so that they couldn’t see me through the window.

They were standing just outside, and I knew that they would be able to hear me.

I had closed the door behind me, but despite Sam and Jacintha’s best efforts it was imperfect and noise slipped through easily enough.

I crawled as quietly as I could to the cupboard where we kept the dried foods and snacks.

It creaked as I opened it, and I paused, listening for the boys, but only heard the song of the cicadas thrumming in the night.

I opened the door of the cupboard the rest of the way and grabbed a fistful of chocolate bars, then closed it quickly, wincing again at the creaking.

I put the bars in the pockets of my robe and returned to the boys.

“No torch?” Andrew said.

“No,” I said. “I must have imagined it.”

“Are you afraid of the dark, Lily?” Tom asked.

Before I could answer, Andrew said, “Lily, why don’t you come with me and check to the west of the pool; Tom, you can check to the east.”

“Let’s all split up,” I said. “We’ll cover more ground.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. We’ll probably find her in no time.”

“Okay. Call out if you find anything.”

We separated, and within seconds they were out of sight.

I heard them call Becca’s name, Tom to the left of me, Andrew to the right.

I wanted to stay there badly, where the house was within view and I could track the boys’ locations, but Becca had been on her own now for long enough.

I called her name loudly, and then walked quickly and quietly toward where I thought the maze was.

I had underestimated just how dark this part of the compound was at night.

With the house behind me there was nothing to illuminate the way but the dim light of a crescent moon and the pale, tired glow of distant stars.

I kept stopping and listening for the boys.

I heard Tom far off, to the west, but Andrew was maybe only a couple of hundred feet away.

I wondered if Becca thought that I had abandoned her and was hunting her like the others.

Somehow I got lost. I swung around and saw the illumination of the house, white and brilliant in the distance, but once I turned around again I saw only darkness.

I had thought I was approaching the maze, but worried now that I had missed it entirely.

The boys were no longer calling Becca’s name, and I had no frame of reference now as to how close they were.

I wanted to call out myself, just so that someone could know where I was.

I was gripped by a sudden terror that I had ventured past the perimeter and into the desert.

I heard movement and froze, my mind conjuring images of snakes and other wild creatures. Where was Tom? Was he frightened, too?

“Lily,” a voice said. A hand grabbed my shoulder, and I screamed, my hands thrown out, encountering nothing.

“It’s me,” Andrew said. “Calm down, Lily, it’s only me. Here, take my hand. I knew we should have gone together. It’s okay; there’s nothing wrong with being afraid of the dark.”

“I’m not afraid of the dark.”