Page 26 of The Clash of the Damned (The Titan Syndicate Saga #2)

Sebastian

G rowing up amongst the Supernatural community, I’ve seen my friends take such pride in their Supernatural abilities, and I couldn’t be further from that.

Don’t get me wrong, the pure power of what a Rogue can do, the healing, the speed, and the strength is a rush, and I love those parts.

But how can I truly love being something, or someone, that forces me to kill this much?

My finger brushes over one of the several tattoos across my forearms–the only way I can remember them.

A map of evidence to all the crimes I’ve committed and the families that will never be whole again because of me.

Not even Gabe realizes what’s right in front of him on my body.

That I no longer have to kill on demand and have taken my power back has to mean something. Now, I only kill to protect my loved ones. Not when she tells me to. It has to be enough to help ease my lingering guilt.

A Rogue’s body identifies alcohol as a poison that doesn’t belong.

Aside from the brief buzz we may get, our body quickly expels it, and we go back to our normal selves within a few minutes.

So I’ve never experienced a hangover. As I walk into the dining room where my siblings eat in silence, I almost wish for a hangover so I don’t have to deal with the awkwardness playing out in front of me.

I would rather chew off my right arm than sit through this.

Cutlery clings against plates, and the sound of chewing irrationally irritates me. Clearing my throat, I take a seat at the table and dish up from the assortment in front of me. “Great party last night.” But even as the words leave my mouth, I cringe at how false they sound.

“Well, I love my new toy, thanks, brother. She purrs like a dream.”

Amelia’s unbothered, but I can’t say the same for Clark.

He’s shovelling eggs into his mouth like it’s a race to get out of here.

I know he’s trying to avoid the elephant in the room.

It’s like he thinks daylight will change my reaction, and that secrets are better discussed at night.

Seeing my stare, Clark puts his fork down and clears his throat.

“I’m happy to report that business is doing well.

The trial run with Tatiana for the events side of our business at your engagement party was a success.

It was a bit above board, but now that we have a plan, we can expand our offering.

” He clears his throat. “Rogue business is still a bit slower than usual, but we can attribute that to the religious zealots. I’m sure it will pick up once they get bored with us.

In the meantime, there is a casino I may acquire that I’ve had my eye on it for quite some time. ”

Amelia blows hair out of her face. “Why are we talking about business so early? I’ve only had one cup of coffee.”

“You’ve got a lot to catch up on. I know Sebastian has been training you while I was away, but you’re behind the rest of the Rogues, and we need to fix that ASAP if we’re ever going to reclaim our power amongst the empires.

After breakfast, meet me in the training room.

I want to see you in action.” Clark dabs his mouth with a napkin. “Pass the hazelnut spread please.”

“You’re charming so early in the morning, Clark, truly. You must be a hit with the ladies with a personality like that.” Amelia’s flared nostrils are the only sign of her sarcasm, and I doubt Clark realizes.

“Are we going to talk about what happened last night?” I ask.

Amelia sits up straighter, abandoning her bagel. “What did I miss?”

If our parents were still alive, I would never out Clark at the breakfast table.

I would protect his secret like it was my own, but they’re dead, and we’re still picking up the pieces.

If we want to break the cycle, something has got to change.

If we have any chance of making this work as a family, we have to start trusting each other.

“No Giada this morning?” I appreciate Clark’s attempt at diversion, and I will humor him for all of sixty seconds.

“She’s visiting her parents at the Human Faction.” I’m grateful for the time away from her, but that isn’t important right now. “It’s time to stop keeping so many secrets, Clark. Let us be there for you.”

“Fine.” He drains the last of his coffee before he looks at Amelia.

“Jayden and I are…lovers seems too cheap of a word for what we have, but boyfriend or partner isn’t right either.

” He waves his hand. “You get the drift.” He slices away at a bagel before lathering it with cream cheese like he didn’t share a life changing secret over breakfast.

“You mean Jayden…Jayden? The Druid that’s getting married to Jude?” Amelia’s eyes widen as she looks between us.

“The one and only.” Clark grimaces.

Amelia places her chin in her palms and looks at him dreamily. “Well, don’t leave me hanging. I want details; tell me everything! ”

Clark sighs before he takes a bite of his bagel, chewing while he stalls for time.

“It started years ago when we were teenagers. First, we were fooling around until it became something more. Alyssa suspected, but never knew for sure. It was only when she caught me with Jayden one day, after my marriage announcement to Tatiana, that she started sending me away on extended assignments. She thought that would stop what we had, but it did the opposite. We always came back to each other.”

“The bitch didn’t like that you’re gay?” Amelia exclaims, slamming her hand on the table, making our cutlery jump.

“I don’t like having to put a label on it.

It’s about what’s inside that counts.” He glances at his little sister.

“But if you insist, bisexual. I like men and women. Alyssa never knew, and she never asked. I don’t think her problem was Jayden being a man; it was more that he was a Druid and couldn’t help me extend the Rogue line.

My best guess is since he isn’t an influential Druid, it didn’t warrant extreme punishment. Then Sebastian and Jude happened.”

“I think that’s romantic, and I’m rooting for you and Jayden. I love, love.” Amelia purses her lips in thought. “Who would have thought we would have queerness in common brother. It must run on our father’s side. Imagine what other scandalous secrets he must have been hiding?”

“You can’t just walk in here–” All three of us turn to find Logan in her pink velour tracksuit, following an intruder rushing into our dining room, someone I never thought I would see again.

Kyla’s husband. A few steps behind him is their daughter.

It’s inconvenient that he has a gun. Unexpected even.

“Can we help you?” Clark asks, unbothered .

“I thought it would be just him.” The man points his gun at me, giving off extremely nervous energy as his hand shakes.

One of the first lessons we learn as Rogue’s is to keep our hand steady with weapons, regardless of the circumstance.

He wouldn’t have learned this as part of the Human Faction.

I can imagine he blames me for Kyla’s death.

I know I still have nightmares about it, so he can join the queue.

Clearing my throat, I see Clark give me a silencing glare to let him handle this.

“Did you really think this through?” Clark questions.

“You know what we are. Even if you got off a shot, you would never get out of here alive. I know you’re smarter than this.

Kyla would never have married you otherwise.

But even then, do you really want to set this kind of example for the girl?

I know she’s like us, but she’s a bit young to be exposed to this kind of behavior if you ask me. ”

“I needed to get your attention. You would never have listened otherwise.”

“What’s your name?” Amelia asks.

“Joshua.”

Joshua is a mousey man, nothing remarkable about him, but he loved Kyla, and he was good to her. If Jude has taught me anything recently, it’s how to treat a person that matters, the rest is superficial or a bonus, depending on whose definition you follow.

Joshua lets go of the girl’s hand as he scratches his head with the gun.

He seems confused about what to do next as his eyebrows crease in concentration.

I know he doesn’t need money, so his presence here has to be driven by his grief.

I never thought to check in on the emotional fallout of Kyla’s death, an oversight on my part .

“I know your family had something to do with Kyla’s death!

We were happy, but she always knew her end would come from the empire.

I kept trying to convince her to leave, but she didn’t want to upset our lives.

” His voice cracks. “Every time I look at her, I’m reminded of what we lost. I can’t do it anymore. ” He sobs.

I open my mouth to offer condolences, but Clark silences me with a look and says, “You’re not alone, Joshua. Alyssa and David are gone, and we’re in charge now. You have the full support of the Rogue empire, anything you need. We would never abandon one of our own.”

Glaring at me, Joshua adds, “You think Kyla didn’t tell me about your one-night stand before you parted ways?

We agreed to pretend she was mine. Kyla always told me about how badly you were treated, and she was terrified her child would face the same fate.

But Kyla isn’t here anymore. Now it’s your turn to step up.

” He pushes the girl towards me and runs out the door.

“Daddy!”

When the girl tries to run after the man she thought was her father, Logan grabs her hand, holding her back and crouches until she’s eye level with the child. “I know you’ve been through a lot recently, but know we will protect you. You’re part of our family now. What’s your name, sweetheart?”

She hiccups through her tears, “Evangeline Saige.”

I drop my coffee cup, and it shatters into a million pieces on the floor.

It hits me how much the girl looks like a Vance with her dark features, but her slight build follows her mother’s side. Kyla knew. She knew there was a chance I would find out one day, and she gave my late sister’s name to the child as a sign. I don’t believe in coincidences, and neither did she.

“Ummm Evangeline Saige is quite a mouthful, is there anything we can call you for short?” Is the first thing that jumps out of my mouth to the girl–my daughter.

“Lilly,” she tells us with her tear streaked face downcast, her bottom lip quivering. Amelia gives me a scathing look to let me know I’m doing a shit job at making Lilly feel welcome. Amelia holds out her hand to her. “Well, I’m your aunt, so why don’t we go pick out your new room together?”

Amelia, Logan, and Lilly leave the room as Clark looks at me expectedly. “Well, I shared this morning. Now it’s your turn.”

“Kyla was closer to your age than mine, but she was the only friend I had. When we parted ways, we got caught up in the moment and had sex. I didn’t think much of it.

We were both sad at the time, and we never brought it up again.

It’s what Jude and I connected over, my sadness at losing a friend, and we started dating not long after. I didn’t even tell her about it.”

Clark turns his back to me and strides over to another part of the dining room. Ice clinks against glass, and I’m confused at the out of place sound at breakfast. My brother turns back and offers me a tumbler of freshly poured whisky.

“Well congratulations, daddy. Don’t fuck it up the way our parents did.”