Page 41 of The Christmas Trap

Somehow, I’m not quite able to convince myself of it. A disquiet squeezes my chest, but I shove it aside and focus on my boss.

He looks incredulous. Like falling in love is up there with finding out Santa Claus is real and double-parked outside.

"It has been known to happen," I murmur.

He sneers. “I don’t believe in love. I’d rather keep my life clear of such entanglements."

"And what about when you have kids? Are you planning to steer clear of entanglements when it comes to them too?"

"Of course, not. That's different."

I shake my head, trying to make sense of what he’s saying. “So, you’ll marry for the wrong reasons?”

“They’re the right reasons for me. Whoever marries me will not want for anything.”

“Except love.”

He gives me a disbelieving look. “The money will more than make up for it.”

“Moneyisimportant. But a marriage without love? You realize how pitiful that sounds?"

He reels back. "What do you mean?”

I realize, I’m lashing out at him. It’s more to do with how I’m feeling about my own engagement right now. And how emotionally upset I am that I don’t have the answers to the very questions I’m asking him. Yet I can’t stop myself.

"You’ve ruled out all the important experiences that make you human."

"It holds no value for me." His features are set. His voice is hard. Yet there’s something in his eyes.

Doesn’t take a shrink to figure out that this man had something happen to him which resulted in him withdrawing from the idea of love.

"Who hurt you?" The words are out before I can stop myself.

I immediately regret it.

His features close. The vein popping at his temple seems ready to burst.

I slide further toward my door, as much as my seat belt will allow me. "Forget I asked. It’s none of my business."

"You’re right, it isn’t." His voice is remote. "And for the record, Idecided a long time ago there was no place for love in my life. It’s why I trusted Gramps to pick the right woman for me to marry. Only, he seems to have picked wrong.”

“It does seem that way.” I lower my chin.

Until I met Brody, I was perfectly happy marrying my absentee fiancé. I was confident everything in my life was as I had planned it.

I'm confident that marrying my fiancé is what I want. I am.Right?

Keith loves me. He will make me happy. He’s the one who proposed to me, after all. And he does desire me.

So does Brody.I know that, based on the chemistry that hums between us.

And I?

It’s only after I met Brody that I realize how it feels to be truly drawn to someone. To want to physically be with someone with an urgency that makes my chest hurt and my pussy quiver.

An intensity that I haven’t felt with my fiancé.

Not in the way that a mere glare from Brody makes me want to drop my clothes and climb him like he’s a sturdy pine tree.