Page 110 of The Chaos She Brings

I knew then there was no point arguing. I told them where to meet and hung up before things escalated further.

“Good, how long until we’re there?” I ask Enzo, who’s been waiting for my reply.

“An hour at most.”

Every step closer to Tess feels like I’m drowning in my own failure. Thirty-six hours without a word from her. Thirty-six hours of her being in God knows what kind of danger.

And I’ve let her down.

I scrub a hand over my face, trying to shake off the spiral.

I don’t say anything to Enzo. My mouth is dry, my thoughts a blur of worry and guilt. The plane hums steadily beneath me, but all I can think about is Tess.

She has to be okay.

She just has to be.

38

What Have They Done To Her?

Tess to Kai: I shouldn’t have left you. [unsent]

Tess

Youhearalotof statistics about the likelihood of sexual assault and rape. Last I heard it was one in five. Who knows if that’s even accurate.

I’d always been lucky—one of the ones that hadn’t experienced anything like that.

Now, lying in the cold, wet, dirt, my entire body in pain, I’m not so lucky anymore.

Nikolai has ruined me.

His friends just watched, laughing at my plight.

I tried tofight. I promise I did.

But by the end I was just so very tired. Tired of the pain.Tired of life.

“You can stay out here until you’re ready to be civil,” Nikolai spits, throwing something over me, before six sets of footsteps squelch away. The rain is coming down hard now.

My hair is plastered to my skin, shivers wracking my naked body.

I hope I die out here.

It would be a mercy, I think.

For the first time in my life, I have nothing left to hold onto. No jokes. No sharp words. Just the weight of my own skin and the knowledge that I don’t belong in it anymore.

Usually, I’m pretty good at covering my problems with humour.

There’s no joke to cover this. No sharp wit for me to hide behind. There’s just the sound of the rain and the hollow ache in my chest.

I don’t bother moving.

What’s the point?

I made the worst mistake of my life by leaving. By handing myself over to a monster.