Page 8 of The Careless Alpha

I slipped away before anyone could notice I was crying.

My room felt like a sanctuary after the noise and chaos of the party. I kicked off my shoes and sat on my bed, careful not to wrinkle my dress. Through the floor, I could hear music and laughter, the sounds of a pack celebrating their future.

A soft knock made me look up. "Come in."

Luna Etta entered with two cups of hot chocolate, the kind she made with real cream and a touch of cinnamon. She handedme one and settled beside me on the bed, her party dress carefully arranged.

"Hiding?" she asked gently.

"Resting," I lied.

"Hmm." She sipped her chocolate thoughtfully. "You know, when I was not much older than you, I was convinced I'd never find my mate. All the other girls in my pack were pairing off, but no one seemed interested in the quiet girl who spent all her time reading."

I looked at her in surprise. Luna Etta was one of the most beautiful women I knew, graceful and elegant and perfectly suited to her role. The idea that she'd ever been uncertain about anything seemed impossible.

"What happened?" I asked.

"I learned that the Moon Goddess has her own timeline. That the person meant for me was worth waiting for, even when the waiting hurt." She reached over and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "But I also learned that I couldn't wait for my life to begin. I had to start living it, mate or no mate."

"How do you start living when your life is already mapped out?"

Luna Etta's smile was sad and knowing. "You start with who you are right now, today. Not who you're going to be in five years or ten years. Who you are at this moment."

"I don't know who that is anymore."

"Then that's where you start. Finding out."

I wanted to tell her that I didn't want to find out who I was without her son. I wanted to be the person who was worthy of him. But I just nodded, because admitting that out loud felt too much like admitting defeat. That was not very Luna-like.

She finished her chocolate and stood up, smoothing her skirt. "The party's going to go late. Why don't you getsome sleep? Tomorrow we'll start planning your birthday celebration."

After she left, I changed out of my blue dress and hung it carefully in the closet. It was beautiful, but Scarlett had been right about one thing. It was young. Appropriate for my age.

The problem was, I didn't want to be appropriate for my age anymore. I wanted to be appropriate for Marshall.

I climbed into bed and pulled the covers up to my chin, listening to the party continue below. Somewhere down there, Marshall was laughing with his friends and dancing with Scarlett and being everything a future Alpha should be.

Meanwhile, I was learning the hardest lesson of all: how to love someone who didn't love me back, not yet, maybe not ever. How to hope for a future that felt more like a fantasy with each passing day.

I closed my eyes and made a wish on the first star I could see through my window. Not for Marshall to love me, that felt too big, too impossible. Just for the strength to keep smiling tomorrow, and the day after that, and all the days until I figured out who I was supposed to be.

Outside my window, the wind continued to howl, but inside my room, I was learning to find warmth in smaller things. Luna Etta's kindness. Alpha Orion's gentle concern. The certainty that somewhere in this confusing, painful mess, there was a version of myself worth discovering.

I just had to be brave enough to look for her.

Chapter 4

Marshall - Age 21

Being Alpha suited me. The power, the respect, the way everyone jumped to obey my every command.

I leaned back in the leather chair that had been my father's, surveying the pack documents spread across the massive oak desk. Border patrol schedules, alliance agreements with neighboring packs, and financial reports from our logging operations. Everything that made the Cascade Pack run smoothly now flowed through me.

Nearly two years had passed since my father died in a border skirmish with rogues. I'd inherited the Alpha position just days after my twentieth birthday, younger than anyone had expected. The pack had rallied around me, proving their loyalty when I'd needed it most. Now, at twenty-one and about to have another birthday, I was hitting my stride.

"The Colorado pack wants to renegotiate timber rights," Jackson said from his position near the window. My Beta looked older these days, the weight of our responsibilities aging him faster than our twenty-one years should have. "They're claiming the boundary lines your father established are no longer fair."

"Let them claim whatever they want," I said, not looking up from the quarterly reports. "They need our lumber more than we need their friendship. Counter with a five percent increase in prices."