Page 34 of The Careless Alpha

"I'm not upset," I said, my voice growing harder. "I'm disgusted. By you, by the pack members who think like you, and mostly by myself for ever entertaining your delusions."

Scarlett's face flushed with anger. "You're making a mistake. That little bitch—"

"GET OUT!" I roared, my Alpha command shaking the windows.

She fled, slamming the door behind her. I sank back into my chair, suddenly exhausted.

"Well," Jackson said dryly, "that's the first useful thing you've done in two weeks."

"Jackson..." I started, then stopped. What could I say? How could I apologize for years of treating my mate like an inconvenience, for throwing away the most precious thing in my life? Especially when he had warned me.

"The pack council meeting is in an hour," he said. "They want answers about what you plan to do."

"About what?"

"About finding her. Acknowledging your son. Cleaning up the mess you made."

Our son,Ranger said with fierce pride and devastating sadness.Our heir, who will grow up never knowing us because you were too proud to admit a mistake.

"I don't even know where to start looking," I admitted. The truth was, I’d already tried. In the first hour after Jackson’s revelation, a blind panic had seized me, and I’d shifted, tearing through the forest after her fading scent. I’d tracked her to the bus station in the nearest human town, but there, her trail had vanished, swallowed up by the overwhelming stench of exhaust fumes and a thousand indifferent humans. I had lost her. The only thing I knew for sure was that she was no longer there.

"Then figure it out. Because right now, half the pack thinks you've lost your mind, and the other half thinks you're a monster. Neither opinion is good for pack stability."

Jackson moved toward the door, then paused. "There's something else you should know. Luna Etta hasn't spoken to anyone since Annalise left. She's taken meals in her room, refused to see visitors. The pack is starting to worry."

My mother. I'd been so wrapped up in my guilt and self-pity that I hadn't even considered how this was affecting her. My mother loved Annalise like a daughter, had spent years training her to be the next Luna, and I'd destroyed all of that in one moment of rage and pride.

She's ashamed of us,Ranger said quietly.As she should be.

After Jackson left, I sat alone with the weight of what I'd done pressing down on me like a physical thing. But it wasn't just the banishment that haunted me now—it was the years of casual cruelty that had led to it.

The memories came flooding back with devastating clarity. Not just the big moments, but the small, daily humiliations I'd either ignored or actively enabled.

Scarlett making snide comments about Annalise's "childish" clothes while I sat right there, saying nothing. Veronica openly discussing her plans to seduce me while Annalise served dinner, her hands trembling as she set down plates. Tiffany "accidentally" bumping into her so she'd spill drinks on herself, then laughing about how clumsy the future Luna was.

You thought it was temporary,Ranger said, his voice heavy with accusation.You thought you could treat her like an obligation for four years and then flip a switch when she turned eighteen.

I had thought that. I'd told myself that once she was officially an adult, once we completed the mating bond, everything would change. I'd be the devoted mate she deserved, and she'd forgetabout anything that happened in the years while she was growing up. I hadn’t realised she was being humiliated daily by the she-wolves I used to satisfy my Alpha needs.

You were careless with something precious, Ranger continued.You were careless with her heart, her self-worth, her trust. You let them destroy her piece by piece while you counted down the days until you could be bothered to care.

The word hit me like a physical blow. Careless. That's exactly what I'd been. Not malicious, not intentionally cruel, but utterly careless with the most important person in my world.

Every time you brought another she-wolf to dinner, you told the pack she didn't matter,Ranger said relentlessly.Every time you ignored her when she tried to talk to you, you told her she wasn't worth your attention. Every time you laughed off their cruelty, you told them it was acceptable to treat your mate like garbage.

"I was going to change," I whispered to the empty room. "After her eighteenth birthday, I was going to be different."

Were you?Ranger's voice was bitter.Or were you just going to expect her to be grateful for the scraps of attention you were finally willing to give her?

The question hung in the air. I'd planned to claim her, complete the bond, and then... what? Go back to my normal routine while she tried to rebuild her shattered self-esteem? Expect her to smile and play the perfect Luna while carrying the scars of years of psychological torture? No. I had planned to put all that behind me and be the Alpha and mate she deserved. Why didn’t anyone else realise this?

She loved you anyway,Ranger said quietly.Despite everything, she loved you with her whole heart. And you threw it away because you couldn't remember one night of actually treating her like she mattered.

Two weeks of inactivity, of wallowing in guilt while my pack suffered and my mate and child were somewhere out there, alone and afraid.

Do something,Ranger demanded.For once in your miserable life, do something right.

I reached for the phone on my desk, then stopped. Who could I call? What resources did I have to find one pregnant girl in a country of over 300 million people? But I had to try. I had to do something other than sit here, drowning in self-loathing while everything I cared about slipped further away.