Page 25 of The Brave (Black Arrowhead #6)

“ S tay with me.” I wrapped my arm over Atticus and snuggled close. When I kissed his bare chest and peered up at him, he smiled handsomely. Being in his strong embrace was a place of safety, and I never wanted him to leave.

He stroked my hair. “The past five days have been the best of my life.”

“That’s a bold statement given how old you are.”

“A few celestial events come close.”

When I eased up on my elbow to look at him, I smoothed back my disheveled hair.

Atticus stroked my cheek. “You have sexy bedhead.”

“You certainly have a way with words, Atticus Rain.” I laughed softly and traced my finger around his nipple. “I never know what you’ll say next.”

Atticus had made an impression on me in the past few days. I wasn’t feeling well late one morning, so he left work to bring me chicken soup, warm bread, and a deck of cards. He also called Milly to come out, and she confirmed it was a bad case of indigestion. Her pills usually worked, but the baby had been especially active that day. Instead of going back to work, Atticus played cards with me all afternoon until I felt better.

More importantly, he had taken time from his busy schedule to bond with the pack. Yesterday he helped Tak finish up the chicken coop. He also felled a dead tree in the pasture and single-handedly moved it into the yard so Archer and Montana could chop it up for firewood. And earlier this evening, he joined us after tacos for movie night.

Atticus was a superb storyteller, and each time we had dinner with the pack or gathered, the others warmed up to him a little more.

Except for Salem.

He had been uncharacteristically aloof, always busy with work. But occasionally he would lock eyes with me, still waiting for my answer.

Atticus swept my hair back. “What troubles those blue eyes of yours?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing. You always say nothing . Have you dealt with what happened to you?”

“I’ve been dealing with it for months.”

His dark eyebrows arched. “Have you?”

I pushed myself to a sitting position. “Of course.”

“Humph.”

“Now you’re just goading me.”

He locked his fingers behind his head. “You’re pregnant, Joy. If you don’t talk about it, those emotions you’re bottling will eat you from the inside. Better you start the healing process now, before the baby comes.”

“What am I supposed to do when I have no memory of what happened?”

“Deal with the aftermath,” he pointed out. “Process your pain. Acknowledge it. Talk about it. Your wolves were caged and suffered through terrible experiments, but they’ll deal with their trauma in their own time. You were kidnapped, violated, and impregnated. You were forced to leave behind your life and everything you built up to join a pack while in a fake relationship. I never see you angry about it. I never see you cry.”

“ Of course I’m mad.”

He flew up. “Then show me how mad you are, because I don’t believe you!”

A swell of anger rose up, and I struck his chest with my fists. “I’m furious! But I wasn’t allowed to talk about it. I have no one.” Tears blurred my vision.

He cupped my nape. “You have me.”

“I hate what they did to me—what they did to my wolves.” When I saw my clenched fists, I hugged him. “I’m sorry.”

He pulled me into a tight embrace. “I know you haven’t been able to speak about it because it was a secret, but you need to. Not just about what happened but how it affected you. How it still affects you. Maybe you can’t remember it, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t change you.”

“What good does anger do?”

Atticus kissed my shoulder and eased back. He lifted my chin with the crook of his finger. “Joy, I don’t want a perfectly behaved woman. I know you want to move on, but if we’re to be together, we have to be honest with each other. If you can’t confide in me, find someone else you trust. You’re the type of person who never wants to burden others with your problems.”

“I’ve been nothing but a burden to everyone.”

He wiped a rogue tear hovering on my lashes. “You deserve happiness, but no one can give that to you, especially if you’re not honest with yourself. Do you think I don’t know about pain? Instead of dealing with the aftermath, I let that rage take me to dark places—places you don’t belong. It’s okay to cry and mourn the loss of your life and who you once were. It’s also okay to feel that anger because that’s the only way you’ll figure out how to deal with it. Now, tell me what’s been troubling you this evening.”

“You’re leaving me.”

“I must, but something else is on your mind.”

He stared directly at me with those hypnotic eyes—ones that could summon the truth if he wanted. But Atticus never used his gifts on me.

“How do you know anything’s wrong?”

“Because I know when my girl is vexed.” Atticus kissed me down to my soul. “You can tell me anything.”

Maybe now was the time to test that theory.

I adjusted my light-grey maternity nightgown.

As if sensing a serious conversation, he scooted back against the headboard.

I leaned on my left hand, unable to meet his gaze. “For lack of better words, Salem proposed. He’s sincere and wants to raise the baby.”

“What was your answer?”

“He left it as a standing offer. I haven’t given him an answer yet.”

“What makes his offer worth considering?”

I stroked my belly. “We’re both Shifters, and we wouldn’t face the same scrutiny from others. Plus he’s a healer.”

Atticus laced his fingers across his stomach. “He speaks the truth. If you’re concerned about what others think, you’ll have an easier life with another Shifter.”

“I wasted my life caring what others think, but none of those people cared about me. I’m embarrassed to admit I’ve considered his offer.”

Atticus scooted forward. “And?”

My nerves took hold, and the baby kicked as if responding. When I moved my lips to speak, tears welled in my eyes.

“He makes a good argument, but I love you, Atticus. And I can’t explain it. I just feel this overwhelming?—”

Never did I think saying the words aloud would consume me with emotion.

He cupped my face in his hands and kissed my lips reverently as tears spilled down my cheeks.

“I do. I really love you,” I said through sniffles. “You’re the one I want to be with for the rest of my life.”

Then he embraced me and kissed the crook of my neck. “I’ve waited so long to find you.”

My heart swelled.

“You don’t hate me for considering his offer?”

He drew back. “I’d worry more if you made an impulsive choice. It’s true—Salem can offer you things I can’t.” Atticus placed his hand over my chest. “But what I can offer you is my love, my loyalty, and undying affection. For some women, that’s not enough.”

“What about honesty and respect? I need a man who sees me as his equal, not a statue to decorate his life. I can’t be with someone controlling or who’s dismissive of my wants.”

Atticus bowed his head. “As my lady commands.” He glanced up, a smile touching his lips. “I’m obviously not what you always dreamed of, but I’ll love you the way you deserve to be loved. And…” A tear glimmered in his dark eyes. Atticus cradled my belly in his hands. “I’ll be the father you always wanted for your child—the father I never got to be.”

I put my hands on top of his and felt the union of us becoming a family.

“Lie down.” He patted the spot next to me and scooted back. “Time for your nightly belly rub.”

I chuckled and reclined on my back, my feet touching the headboard. “The way you tease.”

He stroked my rounded belly. “Do you think your wolves will let me do this? Animals don’t like my kind. We don’t carry a scent, and that scares them.”

Staring up at the ceiling, I said, “My wolves have minds of their own, but I’ll do my best to convince them you’re a friend.”

A lock of his hair slipped forward. “They might wonder why you’re sleeping with your friend. Do you shift in your sleep?”

The thought of my wolves attacking him startled me, and I touched my chest, inwardly commanding my heart to slow down.

Atticus kept stroking. “I would never harm them, even in self-defense.”

“I’m worried about them harming you . Especially Gypsy. They’ll be more protective with the baby, and they’ve already been through so much. I have no idea what they’ll be like around my own pack. They haven’t come out since I left the lab and might be too traumatized. It worries me how they’ll adjust to suddenly being in a pack and—” I covered my face.

Atticus lay on his side. “The sky isn’t falling. You can’t worry about everything.”

Lowering my hands, I searched his eyes. “I worry about what might happen when you leave tomorrow. What if you get hurt or killed? I don’t want our beginning to have an end.”

He caressed my cheek. “I want you to knit me a hat while I’m gone. Can you do that? I need something for winter.”

“But the cold doesn’t bother you.”

He winked. “To keep my hair in place when it’s windy. How long do you think it will take you?”

I thought about it. “A day or two. It depends on chores and whatever else might be going on.”

“That’ll keep you busy in the quiet moments. By the time it’s done, I’ll be back.”

“What color? Maybe something cheery like yellow and white.”

He barked out a laugh. “I’m afraid that wouldn’t suit my pale hair, but I’ll wear anything you make. Preferably black.”

I bridged the gap between us and pinched his chin. “But yellow is joyful.”

Atticus put his hand on my tummy and smiled. “The baby likes it when you laugh. While I’m gone, do something that puts you in better spirits.”

I pressed my forehead to his. “I’ll try, but only if you promise to come back.”

“You know I can’t promise that.”

I closed my eyes and felt his warmth. “I hate goodbyes.”

“It’s not a goodbye.”

“Then what is it?”

He traced his finger across my eyebrow. “Until we meet again.”

“Do you think it’s serendipity that we moved here? We had other options, and Salem didn’t want to join a smaller pack. Do you believe an external force is moving people together for different reasons?”

“I’d like to say that it’s just luck we met, but my connection with you is too intense.” Ambivalence bled from his expression. “If there are forces that orchestrate our lives, I’d like to ask them why my family had to die for me to find you. Why did I have to wait three thousand years?”

It would’ve been disrespectful to suggest it, but had it not been for his first love’s death, he wouldn’t have chosen to become a Vampire, and we would’ve never met. I only hoped that she and her child found happiness in another life.

“If I’d met you ten years ago, Atticus, I wouldn’t have been ready. I’m a different woman who doesn’t want this night to end if it could be our last night together.”

He pressed a long kiss to my forehead. “I’ve lacked joy in my life for so long, and here you are. Get under the covers. I’ll fetch the appetizers.”

“No eating in my bed. Besides, it’ll give me indigestion.”

“Then I’ll read to you.”

Atticus touched my heart. No one had ever been this tender with me. I’d never known anyone willing to die for me, and now I wasn’t certain if that depth of love was a blessing or a curse.