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To my surprise, the girls had been serious about wanting that self-defence class, and as an even bigger surprise, they followed up on it.

The sound of their punches hitting the soft practice pads filled the open space while they each worked with a trainer.

Even if they could all be a bit distracted with other things most times, they seemed to be giving it their all while they worked to keep their movements controlled and accurate.

Sweat glistened above their brows and they panted quietly in between hits, but regardless of the strain, all three of them continued much better than I expected.

As much as it was my goal to keep them away from the grittier aspects of the business I was involved in, I knew how dangerous it could be out there, and that wasn’t going to change any time soon.

Because of that, I wanted them to at least be prepared for anything. If someone were to try and attack them or ambush them like Daniil’s men had me, I wanted them to be equipped with the skills to at least have a fighting chance.

They were pushing themselves hard and seemed to even more so each time I gave them praise for their form. Despite being new to it, they were impressing me.

Despite how well they were doing, my stomach was in knots at the thought of the way things were—how even my young, innocent cousins needed some sort of training to get by.

Regardless of things improving between my side and the Novikovs and Levovs, the random attack at the warehouse had me worried. Even if Daniil didn’t let on that he was concerned, I knew he had every reason to be.

Nobody knew who those men were, and if they weren’t satisfied by their failure, then there was a chance they’d just try again. If they didn’t feel like losing their men again, then there was a chance they could go after my cousins instead. They were unmarried, fairly well-known in their circles, and the perfect people to use as leverage over me.

I hated even thinking about it, but that was exactly why I needed them to be alert. To at least have some kind of takeaway from those private classes.

When our time was up, we thanked the instructors and the girls finally relaxed, sprawling out on the mat-covered floors while they recovered from the exertion.

With the others gone, I stood above them with a more serious expression than before. “I have something I want to talk to you three about.”

All three of them paused, reining their exhaustion in. Angel wiped the sweat from her forehead with a small towel as she sat up. “Yeah?”

“Why does this sound serious?” Livia asked, also sitting up to lean back on her palms.

“Because it is…it’s about something serious,” I murmured, glancing between the three of them. I crossed my arms over my chest. When I knew I had their full attention, I began. “What do you know about the current situation with our side, along with the Novikovs and Levovs? Are Giovanni and Vinny satisfied with the way things are going?”

Silvia exchanged a glance with the other two before speaking, and given how they deflated slightly, it was clear they weren’t completely in the dark. “We know some things…our brothers aren’t all that happy, if we’re being honest.”

I had a sinking feeling that was the case, despite how they seemed to be going along with everything. “And what have they said?”

Angel sighed, looking somewhat uncomfortable about the topic. It made sense, of course, knowing the position they found themselves in. “They’ve mentioned how tense everything has been ever since the Novikovs stepped in, and how they aren’t sure about the direction things are moving in.”

More uneasiness settled in my gut, but I was at least glad they were being honest with me.

“They also don’t know we’re here, or that we’ve been seeing you at all,” Livia admitted a bit sheepishly while she bit at the inside of her cheek.

I lifted a brow at that. “They don’t?”

She shook her head, making her ponytail shift with the movement. “No…we’ve been lying about where we’ve been going so we can see you. They think we’re out shopping right now.”

Sighing, I rubbed at my temple. “I see. I was hoping things wouldn’t get to that point. None of you should have to lie to anyone about seeing me.”

“We know, and we don’t want to lie,” Angel went on, looking vaguely torn. “We know we shouldn’t, but if that’s what it takes to see you without causing any problems with Giovanni and Vinny, then so be it.”

Of course, the fact that they had to lie suggested they didn’t feel comfortable telling them, and there had to be a reason for that.

“Why have you been keeping it from them?” I asked, looking between them to gauge their reactions.

Silvia huffed out a breath. “While everything is uncertain, they don’t want us to be around you. They seemed apprehensive about you having some kind of influence over us.”

It was even worse than I anticipated. Whether the two of them just didn’t trust me, or if they wanted to shield the girls from everything, it still stung to know they wanted to keep them away from me.

The four of us were close, and both Giovanni and Vinny knew that. I didn’t want to assume the worst and think it was some kind of power play, but I couldn’t shake that thought entirely from my mind.

I didn’t know how to feel about it, but I certainly didn’t enjoy the expanding feeling of dread in my gut.

Rubbing at my face absently, I looked at them again. “And what do you think, then? About everything—the alliances, the tension?”

There was another small moment of consideration between them before Angel spoke up. She sounded both tired and irritated. “Truthfully, we don’t care. We don’t care about how our brothers feel about it all, and we know you wouldn’t have made any kind of alliance with the Novikovs and Levovs if you didn’t think it was a necessary step.”

“We’re not worried about what they think, we’re worried about you and being able to continue this, even if it means withholding it from them,” Silvia murmured, eyes somewhat sharp at the thought. “Even if they don’t agree with the changes, we still want to see you. We decided a while ago that we won’t let it stop us.”

Even if their honesty somewhat shook me, now aware that the situation with Giovanni and Vinny was worse than I once assumed, it still meant a lot to me. I was grateful for their faith in me, and that they weren’t swayed by their older brothers.

I didn’t want to be isolated from them, and I certainly didn’t want a life for the girls where they’d have to constantly lie about what they were doing.

“We don’t care about the politics,” Livia sighed, looking annoyed at the mere mention of it. “We care about you and making sure you’re all right. Since you’ve always had our backs, we’re going to have yours in return.”

Something moved in my chest at their words, and I swallowed back my building emotion. “I know you’re always going to…but I don’t want you three being swept up in this mess. It’s not fair, and I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“It’s a bit late for that, whether we like it or not,” Angel said, not holding back the truth from me, even while speaking it in a gentle tone.

Her words caught me by surprise for a moment. She was right, of course—some of that damage had already been done without me realizing it. I wanted to apologize for it, but I also knew there wasn’t anything I could do about it yet. I couldn’t turn back.

Regardless of the outcome, I could only push forward and try to reach some sort of solution that would serve everyone involved.

“It’s hard sometimes, being stuck between you and our brothers,” Silvia admitted, blue eyes somewhat darker than usual from the evident sadness veiling them. “None of us want the family to be pulled apart, and we don’t want to be caught in the middle of it all. We don’t want to pick sides.”

With a pinch of sadness in my chest, I let out a gentle breath and kneeled in front of them, able to see just how torn they were. “You shouldn’t have to pick sides, and you don’t. I’m not making you, and those two shouldn’t, either.”

Despite the three of them agreeing with my words, they all still looked a bit glum.

Angel murmured, “We don’t want any more drama…we just want things to go back to normal, and we want you to be happy.”

Regardless of the sting of guilt in my side, I managed to pull a small smile for them. “And I’ve only ever wanted you three to be happy. Everything I do, I do for you and us...and I’m sorry I’ve put you in this position.”

While the girls didn’t say anything right away while they sat with those words, I watched as the understanding settled in their features. They nodded absently, and while I was prepared to take all of the blame, I could tell they didn’t place it on me.

They had every reason to want things to go back to normal, and while I didn’t think that would be possible given how everything had changed, I still wanted to have hope for them. Regardless of what it took, I would help them find something that at least resembled normalcy.

Despite the gloomy ending to our session, we wrapped up our time there, and I walked with the three of them to make sure they got to their car safely, saying my goodbyes to them.

The driver and a guard were already waiting for me in the Range Rover, looking stoic as usual.

I climbed in, and before long, I was on the way back to the house.

While I watched the city move by, I thought about the girls and everything they said…and how that guilt only felt heavier throughout the drive.

Even if I wasn’t the one to do it outright, and not for no reason, something in me felt bad for forcing my men into following the Novikovs and working alongside them.

I’d known it wouldn’t be easy, of course, but I had hoped everyone would be able to put their pride aside for the sake of everything we were trying to achieve. I didn’t want them to resent me for it, or hate the Russians more just because they were being ordered to get along with them.

I knew it went beyond their nationality and had more to do with the name—with what it meant to be under the fist of another family.

Many of those men had only ever followed my father and brother. It was all they knew. And for me to switch that up one day, even if I had a good reason to—I understood why that didn’t sit well with them.

But still…I didn’t have a choice before. It was either propose the alliance or be perpetually tormented by Daniil and his family.

At the very least, things had been better between us, and while some of my men might’ve had sour feelings about the pact, at least I didn’t need to worry about my husband trying to make my life a living hell anymore.

Despite the odds, the two of us were building something together. Something that felt real and solid, and void of lies and deceit.

Ever since we hashed things out and stopped resisting each other, things just seemed…easier. Nicer.

Given what it took to get there and to feel a sense of connection with him, I didn’t want to lose it all just because there was some unrest in my ranks.

I didn’t know how I was going to accomplish it yet, but I needed to mend things with Giovanni and Vinny. I couldn’t have them getting in the heads of the others and risking some kind of nuclear fallout, and I also didn’t want the girls to suffer needlessly.

While it was hard to imagine a world where I could have it all and then some, I was still determined to try anyway.