Page 16

I was speechless.

No matter how hard I tried to wrap my head around everything Damien said, or how badly I wanted to say something in return, I just couldn’t find the words.

While his attraction to me hadn’t been a secret, it still came as a complete surprise to hear just how intense it had been for him. Regardless of how strangely the two of us had been acting more recently, he still wanted more of me and wasn’t deterred by that fact.

Even with me being so unsure and back and forth about it all, he still needed me.

A confession of that magnitude felt like so much to absorb at once, and while a part of me was flattered and honestly a bit giddy about it, I couldn’t ignore how unideal the time and place were.

I couldn’t ignore the subtle jabs of discomfort down my back, knowing we were in public, surrounded by his family and the Levovs, along with their associates.

Even if our conversation was mostly private, we still ran the risk of someone overhearing us, or wondering what we were doing engrossed in a conversation between just the two of us.

It wasn’t the place to have such an overwhelming conversation, but given the veiled desperation in his eyes, I knew Damien needed it. He needed to express himself and give me at least a semblance of an explanation.

As much as I wanted to believe he was just being overdramatic or getting ahead of himself, there was no mistaking the genuine gleam in his gaze, and how he was looking at me like I was the sun itself.

Like he couldn’t stand to be without me.

It was both excruciating and exciting at once, and it didn’t help the already confusing bundle of emotions I had been contemplating over those few weeks riddled with internal doubt and questioning.

Being able to see his sincerity for myself made it even more startling, and by being put on the spot like that, I didn’t know what to do. What to say.

He had me completely stunned, and my brain and mouth both felt so useless.

“I know this isn’t exactly fair, and I know I’m asking a lot of you right now, but I just need something,” Damien said, voice somewhat strained as he looked down at me with an intensity in his eyes that made me ready to fawn. It was tempting given how overwhelmed I felt. “Please, Sky…just tell me what you’re thinking…anything.”

I wanted nothing more than to be honest with him, but I was still torn—the very thing I was getting sick of feeling.

Even if it wasn’t in my best interest, I wanted him. I wanted to throw all caution to the wind and go along like everything was perfectly normal and understandable.

But I was never one to be careless, especially when it came to my safety. Not when it came to the path my life was on.

In the best and worst ways possible, Damien was like a typhoon. He was intense and commanded everything in his path to move, regardless of the consequences. There was a sense of danger that came with just knowing him, and something about that felt like leaving my whole life up to chance.

The very life I made myself, acted out according to the plan in my head of what I thought was right.

He was a means of flipping all of that on its head, and I wasn’t so sure I could even control whether or not that might happen. With him, everything felt up to chance, like I had no choice but to give in and accept whatever outcome might fall into my lap.

Even if everything about that seemed terrifying, I still wanted him. I wanted the luxury of feeling his touch and knowing his affections for myself…of being showered in his scalding attention and unbridled infatuation that seemed to border on obsession.

It was agonizing, especially knowing just how intense he was.

If his interest in me drove him to constantly seek me out in the office and feel the need to protect me so fiercely as if I were something precious, then I could only imagine just how deep those feelings ran within him. That thought alone was a lot to take in, and I could feel it constricting around my throat, stopping me from vocalizing everything he wanted to hear from me.

“Please…” he repeated, surprising me by the rare softness in his tone and how vulnerable he looked.

Seeing him like that was beyond out of character, which only solidified for me just how brutal it all was for him.

I went to open my mouth in an attempt to say something…anything, but whether fortunate or not, Benedikt seemed to appear out of nowhere as he clapped a friendly hand on Damien’s shoulder, glancing between us before settling his gaze on me. The sudden intrusion seemed to shake him within his skin.

“The driver’s waiting for you and Gemma out front. She’s just saying some last-minute goodbyes before you two head out.”

Blinking the shock and fluster back, I nodded, somewhat grateful for the break in the stifling conversation I couldn’t bring myself to contribute anything to. “Alright…I won’t make them wait.”

“Good, good,” Ben said, giving Damien another jostle, unaware of what he interrupted. “It was good seeing you both, save travels home.”

We both managed to mumble our responses, maintaining some sort of competence as Ben eventually turned and continued through the crowd.

For a moment, I half expected Damien to demand I not leave, almost able to see the words on the tip of his tongue. Instead, his gaze smoldered on my face, eyes softening with a faint desperation.

“…just consider what I said.”

Feeling useless still, I swallowed hard and nodded. “I should go…goodnight, Damien.”

The way his eyes seemed to convey so many thoughts and feelings at once made my heart ache, but in that moment, I just needed to get away. I needed to process it all on my own time and find a way to navigate through the confusing feelings I couldn’t begin to understand yet.

“Goodnight, Sky,” he said, looking as if parting ways was the last thing he wanted.

Even so, I gave him one last glance before slipping away, finding Gemma waiting not too far away.

I did everything in my power to not reveal how rattled I felt from the conversation with Damien, smiling faintly as Gemma looped her arm through mine and led me out of the bar, heading for the waiting SUV.

“Thank God,” she mumbled, taking her heels off once we got in the back and the driver pulled away. “Being sent home earlier than the guys is a blessing in disguise.”

In a sense, I couldn’t help but agree with her. Even if a lot was left in the air between me and Damien because of it, leaving while the others continued their socializing and deal-making instilled me with a sense of relief.

After a moment of not saying anything in response, Gemma glanced at me with curiosity in her eyes. “You and Damien were talking for a bit there…what was he bothering you with this time?”

A brief flicker of alarm moved through me at the mention of him and how she had seen us talking at the bar. But I pushed it down and kept my cool. “He had some thoughts about the assignment and made a few suggestions for finding more leads.”

She seemed somewhat surprised to hear it as if wondering why Damien would want to discuss the project while at the event, but she didn’t question it further. Instead, she nodded and pulled her hoop earrings out, sighing with relief before placing them in her clutch. “I guess he never really turns his work brain off, huh?”

If only she knew just how easily he could turn his brain off when he wanted to…

“He doesn’t seem to, anyway,” I replied instead, letting a beat of silence fill the space between us before I glanced over at her again. “What do you know about him? I find he’s difficult to read most of the time.”

Gemma considered the question for a moment. “I don’t know a whole lot about him…even if our families are closer now, the Novikovs still tend to be more on the secretive side. I do know he’s Alex’s right-hand…he’s the second oldest, not too committed to anything other than his work, and even if he seems intense, he tends to joke around when he can.”

While everything she said didn’t come as too much of a surprise to me, I found the zero-commitment part interesting, given how he had shown me everything but that.

If his confession and actions spoke for him at all, then it seemed he had been wholly committed to being near me and following that apparent infatuation regardless of how it made him appear.

“Why? I hope he hasn’t been causing any problems for you,” Gemma added, lifting a curious brow at me.

Quick to cover for him for whatever reason, but also not prepared to dive into that conversation with her just yet, I shook my head. “No, no, he’s been fine. I just feel like I don’t know much about him despite him always being around.”

She hummed and nodded at that. “He’s just like the rest of them. Novikovs and Levovs both. They can all be pretty elusive in their own ways, but if you’re lucky enough, they’ll show you their true colors…good and bad.”

I nodded to myself, aware that she knew better than anyone. She had her whirlwind romance with Benedikt, and even if they were in a great place after learning to understand one another, it didn’t start that way from what she told me.

“That must be frustrating at times.”

Gemma smiled faintly as if considering it more deeply herself, then she nodded. “At times, yes. But somehow, he made it all worth it.”

Even if I didn’t know Damien that well beneath the surface, I couldn’t help but feel like she was making a solid point. While he could be arrogant and irritating beyond belief, having those moments with him, exchanging glances, or being able to feel his skin against mine, made the payoff feel worth the parts of him that drove me insane.

Still, I wasn’t sure if I could handle being with someone as intense as Damien, even if he made his intentions very clear that evening. Even if he made me put all of my previous decisions into question.

There was no questioning the danger that surrounded him, or the potency of his attention and affection, all of which put me on edge. But even then, I was still intrigued by him.

While it was in my best interest to stay away, I still found myself gravitating towards him, wondering just how far he’d let that obsession go.