Page 5 of The Boss
“A person who enjoys giving up complete control to someone.A person who likes pain.”
“Do you like pain?”
“I thought I did.Now I’m not so sure.”
“What happened to make you unsure?I need to know if we’re going to work together.”
“Work?”I forced myself to smile.“I thought we were going to play.”Maxwell didn’t appear amused.My smile faded.I sighed and started to tell him my story.
“Growing up, I knew I was different, wanted something different, but I didn’t know what that was until I went online and discovered BDSM.Moving to New York gave me a chance to explore the scene.I started talking to someone on the Internet.Eventually, we met in a coffee house.Martin told me he was a Dom and he seemed confident and genuine.We hit it off and arranged a play date.It went well and we started meeting on a regular basis.”Memories came flooding back.I stopped to compose my thoughts.
“Go on.”
“Martin always kept me guessing.He never defined things before we got started.I thought it was how he played, and I just followed his lead.But as time went on, I started becoming anxious before we met.I chalked it up to my inexperience.Sometimes he did things that upset me, like slapping my face or running the blade of a knife over my skin.If I asked him to stop, he’d become angry and call me a shit sub, so I ended up doing things I didn’t want to, because I wanted to be a good submissive.”
I saw Maxwell frown and I tried to explain.“Usually our sessions went okay, but I didn’t have any say in what we were doing.I trusted Martin to make all the decisions and I relied on him to take care of me.”
“You should have set some boundaries together before you started playing.”
“I know that now.Looking back, I can see how really naïve I was.”
“Your Dom should have known that.He should have…” Maxwell winced and swallowed the rest of the sentence.“Never mind.What happened next?”
I coughed and my voice shook.“Over time our sessions became more violent than I wanted.”
“Did you have safe words?”
“Yes.Yellow to slow down, red to stop.One night he tied me up and started flogging me.It went on too long, and finally I called out red.He ignored me and kept whipping me again and again.I ended up badly beaten.He fractured a few ribs.When I cried, he told me that I didn’t deserve his care, that I wasn’t a real submissive, because I wanted to end the scene too soon.I never saw him again.”
Maxwell looked grim.“You were abused.Did you report it?”
“No.”I averted my eyes, remembering… “I was confused.I’d let him flog me, so how could it be an attack?I blamed myself for not being a good sub, for not knowing what I wanted.”
* * *
Maxwell
Aaron’s story made me angry.I’d heard it too many times to count.The scene is filled with posers who call themselves Doms, but in reality, they only care about their own agendas.They’re predators and they cause enormous physical and emotional pain.
“I’m very sorry about what happened to you, Aaron.It wasn’t your fault.Your Martin was a sadistic fuck.Anyone can put a title in front of their name, but it doesn’t make them a Dom.You deserve better.”You deserve me.
“I feel so stupid.Maybe this isn’t for me.”
“I disagree.You had a bad experience and it planted doubt in your mind.A true Dom and sub relationship is built on a strong foundation of trust, communication, and acceptance.If you truly want to explore this lifestyle, I can help you find your own comfort level.”
“I’m afraid I won’t measure up.I don’t know how to get past that fear to submit.”
“It’s not about measuring up.It’s about two men discovering what makes each one happy.We would both need to trust each other and understand the limits.I will take you to the edge of those limits, but I won’t push them without your permission.I promise you’ll feel safe, not hurt or fearful.Can you trust me?Are you willing to try?”
Aaron looked me full in the eyes.“I came here because I still want to submit to a Dom.I’ll stay because I ache to kneel at your feet.Yes, Master, I’m ready.”
Those words set off butterflies inside me.I knew how hard it must have been for Aaron to admit he had strong feelings for me, and he had called me Master with no prompting.I wanted him to know how happy he made me.“I’m very pleased, pet.Before we get started, I want to be clear on your limits.”
“No permanent marks or broken skin.”
“Anything else?What about sex?”
Aaron’s face turned a bright red.“I… uh, yes, sex, if you please, Sir.”