Page 11 of The Boss

I couldn’t do it.I felt vulnerable and more than a little scared because I’d fucked up again.My emotional walls went up and I tried to numb the ache in my chest.

“Be a man.Look me in the eye.”

That pissed me off and I lifted my head.I feigned a disinterested expression.“Go ahead, fire me.I don’t care anymore.”

I waited for an angry outburst, but Maxwell just lifted a brow and studied me like a cat watching a mouse.“So you don’t care about losing the job, or me?”

I wanted to get down on my knees and take it all back, but it was too late.“No.”I shook my head for emphasis.

Maxwell’s expression turned darker.The silence between us went on and tension filled the room.I hated myself.Not only had I acted like a dick, I’d wounded his ego.He’d have to fire me now.Meanwhile I was completely miserable, and it was all my fault.

It killed me that I wouldn’t get to submit to him again.I wanted to feel him bend me to his will, and over his knee.I wanted so much more.But damn, I was convinced we were done.I didn’t want him to see how broken I really was, so I kept my walls up and went on the offensive.“There’s no point continuing this.I’m out of here.”I tried to move around him.

“Where do you think you’re going?”He crowded me and kept me pinned between him and the desk.

“Home.Office hours are over.”

“You don’t get to walk out on me.”

“Didn’t you tell me to act like a man?Well, I’m a grown-ass man and I can leave whenever I want.”

“You’re my boy, and you can’t leave until I say you can.”

I looked at him incredulously.“Are we playing a scene?The boss and the office boy?Are you my Dom again?”

A conflict of emotions crossed Maxwell’s face.“Is that what you want?”

I was confused, but if he was offering me a chance to stay, I’d take it.“Sure.”I hesitated for a second.“If that’s what you want.”

A vein throbbed at his temple.“Don’t you get it?I’m not playing games.”He was fuming.

“I don’t understand.”

“Obviously.Not everything is a role play.This is my life.”

His words hit me hard.I had hurt him and it killed me.What if I’m going about this all wrong?I’m missing something, but what?All I can do now is plead my case.“Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference.I’m trying to be what you want, but I’m not always sure what that is.”

Maxwell looked stunned.He backed away, slumped into one of leather chairs, and put his head in his hands.“Aaron.I’m so sorry.How can I expect you to know what I want when I don’t know myself?”

For the first time, I realized that for all his wealth, Maxwell had a few insecurities of his own.I walked over, knelt at his feet, and put my head in his lap.It seemed perfectly natural.“I’m sorry I made things harder for you.”

Maxwell stroked my hair.“No.Actually, you helped me make up my mind.For a long time, I’ve been all work and no play.I decided it was time to get back into the lifestyle.I told myself I just wanted an occasional playdate.Then you appeared.”

Surprised, I lifted my head.

“I knew it was wrong to go after you, but…” He waved a hand and smiled.“I got Brett to help me arrange our date.He told me from the start that I would want more, but it took me a little longer.”

“Sir, I --”

“Wait.Let me finish.I do want more than an occasional playdate.I want you.We mesh in so many ways.It’s not always perfect, but that takes time…” His voice trailed off.“What do you want, Aaron?Is all this about keeping your job?”

“It’s never been about my job.”I paused uncertainly and lapsed into silence.It was hard to admit my true feelings, but Maxwell deserved my honesty.I had to let down my walls.“Sorry, I’m not good at expressing my feelings.I’m still working on my trust issues.The truth is I want to be your submissive, but…”

“But what?”

“But I also want more.Sometimes I just want to be Max and Aaron.”

Maxwell let out a sigh.“You’re not the only one with trust issues.I’ve had my share of bad experiences.Some years ago I met a man at the club.Brett didn’t know him very well and he warned me to take it slow.I didn’t listen.Joseph was a chef, attractive, intelligent, funny… I fell hard and fast.After several months, he started to play on my sympathy.He would tell me he needed money for an emergency.I always gave it to him, no questions asked.Eventually, he started talking about opening his own restaurant.He asked me for a substantial amount.I was prepared to fund him, but I spoke to Brett first.Brett hired a PI to follow him.To make a long story short, Joseph was seeing someone else.They probably would have skipped town with my money.”Maxwell winced.“He wasn’t even a real submissive.”