Page 93 of The Book of Blood and Roses
“Yeah,” I say, staring down at my boots. “It was a while ago. Vicki.”
“Vicki?”
“We were classmates,” I say. “She dumped me the day after prom. There was a band at the party, and apparently, I flirted with the bassist,” I add. The memory doesn’t sting. I barely remember it, anyway. Everything happened so fast. My parents died less than a month after prom, and Vicki sent me her condolences. I didn’t reply.
“And after that?”
I shake my head. I know what I feel tonight. It’s so painfully vivid I think my chest is going to burst, but I can’t sayit.
“What about now?” she asks.
I should have seen it coming. But I’m too stunned, only now realising where she was going with this. “What are you talking about?” I ask in disbelief. I get up, but Aliz grabs me, pulling me down onto her lap, arms tight around my waist. “Aliz—”
“It’s a simple yes-or-no question,” she says, her cheeks red, as though she regrets saying it, but can’t take it back.
“What is wrong with you?” I hiss. “We’ve known each other for two weeks.” Even as I say this, I feel my heart tightening, as though her hand has a fast grip on it.Why did she have to ask that?
“We’ve known each other for a month,” Aliz argues.
“No,” I say, gritting my teeth. “I’ve been keeping my distance, and now you’re asking me aboutlove?”
“I—”
“In a week we’ll finally get into the library,” I say, trying to keep my voice steady. “Don’t ruin this.”
She clasps my face, forcing me to look at her. My eyes sting, heart beating far too quickly. “I’m notruininganything,” she says, voice tight. “You can call it whatever you want. Fever, obsession. I just need to know if we’re on the same page,” she says. “This madness can’t be mine alone.”
She’s close enough to kiss. If I inched forward, I’d have her. Slowly,her words sink in. I stop breathing, my anger momentarily fading as I realise what she’s saying. Aliz takes a shallow breath, and the wind begins to pick up around us. “Cassie, please.” Desperation tightens her voice. I don’t make a sound, and she squeezes my hands. “You could say you don’t love me,” she says. “I’m a vampire. I’ll be able to sense if you’re lying.”
“Aliz—”
“Please.” Her voice is dry, just on the brink of breaking. I take a deep breath, and she remains still, waiting.
She’s a vampire. My natural enemy. A creature I’ve hated blindly for four years. My heart thunders as I realise what I’m about to admit. In seven days these feelings will leave us both, and it would have been so much easier to keep these words to myself.
“I don’t love you,” I say. Aliz flinches.
The words, the truth hidden behind them, break every rule I’ve abided by these last four years. My feelings are suddenly as clear to me as the stars above us. I don’t know how long I’ve known, but I’m no longer in denial about them. I wait for Aliz to say something, but she doesn’t. Carefully, I place a hand behind her head, and feel her sigh againstme.
“Thank you.” She pulls back. Her cheeks are still flushed, and the cold has slipped under my coat. The wind is blowing but it hasn’t carried my words away. They remain very firmly in place, the lie a seashell, the truth a pearl hidden within.
Aliz loves me. It’s the most preposterous thing I’ve ever heard, and yet, at least for now, it’s true. It’s true, but not real. I know that. There is no way that she could fall in love with me. Just like the Familiar’s mark can summon dreams, I’m certain it can summon these false feelings, too. Another trick to draw us closer and seal the contract.
“What’ll happen when we get rid of the mark?” I ask.
“Maybe we can be friends,” she says. “I know you didn’t particularly like me before all this, but—”
“Friends sounds good,” I say. I can’t imagine myself without these feelings. I’d be like an empty vessel.
The silence that follows is louder than the wind, and just as I clearmy throat, she clasps a gloved hand over my eyes, holding me in place. “Aliz?”
“Can I kiss you?” she asks. Her breath is cool against my skin. I inhale sharply, heart thudding.
“I thought you said we’re just friends,” I say. I can’t see her, but I feel her warmth radiating onme.
“Just friends—once this is over.” Her other hand snakes behind my back. “But for now—” I hear her swallowing. “You said you trusted me, right?”
“Yes,” I say.
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