Page 122

THE LONG JOURNEY

AXTON

S he is infuriating. Absolutely infuriating.

And nothing like she’s supposed to be, or like I expected her to be, which makes everything worse.

Fingering my blade for the fifth time in an hour, I stare after her, watching the way she sits on her horse, the way she sways in her saddle.

The first few days were easier, when I could mock her awkwardness silently in my head, when I could laugh at her attempts to make it through a day on the road.

When I waited for her to give up. Wanted her to give up.

But she remains mute and uncomplaining, and though she struggles to stay on her feet when we dismount, she makes sure to carefully take care of her horse before herself, feeding and brushing it with exhausted, trembling hands.

She’s unusually gentle with it, hesitant in a way none of our people are with their horses, double and triple checking its harness and water before disappearing for the night. A Binder shouldn’t be so…so soft.

And she’s too compliant, lulling me into a false sense of security with her obedience.

Since the first night, after one of my Rider’s gave her terse, annoyed instructions, she has set up her own tent, though it takes three times as long for her as for anyone else.

She gets her own rations, under a Rider’s careful watch, packs her own gear, tacks up her own mount, and keeps her eyes on the ground the entire time.

Even her riding has gotten better, some natural gracefulness lending her ease in the saddle, making it harder to scorn her in my head.

Instead, I find myself fighting against some kind of reluctant approval of her, and it sets my teeth on edge.

Even some of those who have switched out guard on her have come away less aggressive in their hatred of her, less alarmed by her presence.

She is larkspur, fragile, delicate, beautiful, and deadly.

And the longer she is with us, the more she seems like a frail flower, the less like a SoulBinder.

I wonder if I should just take some of my Riders’ advice and “arrange an accident” along the way so we’re not all weighted down by her presence.

“I can see your scowl from here, Axton.” Teo’s amused voice breaks into my dark thoughts; he is an absolute nuisance.

“You can’t. I’m helmeted.” And I am, bone horns fastened firmly to my head. It’s rare I wear them this long outside the boundaries of the Crimson Walls, but there are too many watching eyes, too many considering looks, so the reminder is overt, but necessary.

“It sits in your shoulders more than anything. Is the little demon getting under your skin?” He’s teasing, laughter lacing his words.

If it were anyone other than Teo, I wouldn’t take the tone, but he’s been a friend for longer than he’s been my Blood Rider, so I forgive him.

Mostly. Still, he straightens in his saddle when I turn to him, pressing his lips together in silent apology.

Things changed between us when I was named BloodLetter, for better or worse, and you can’t rethresh pastures you’ve already harvested.

“A SoulBinder’s presence should get under anyone’s skin, Rider.

” If my tone is cooler than normal, well.

It’s a warning for his sake; it’s best to practice on the grazelands what is necessary in the city.

The Elders don’t always approve of Teo’s easy nature, of his openness.

He’s a son of the Crimson City, but has a way that is somehow foreign.

He gets away with it because he’s so well loved by the people, and because he is my first Blood Rider.

But he’d never be allowed to be so casual anywhere else, and can’t become a Flank Commander if he doesn’t tamp down some of his exuberance.

“Acknowledged, BloodLetter. ”

There’s a long silence between us that never used to exist. A place that once was filled with friendship there is no space for now.

Still, years can’t be erased easily, so he doesn’t react when I finally break the stillness, the words bursting from me with unintentional emotion. “What should I do ?”

“Has the Flank Commander given you an opinion?”

We both know he’s talking about Kylabet.

My other Flank Commander is a grizzled veteran of the trail — honest, stalwart, loyal, and completely without pushback in any way.

This is his last summer with the Band; I’m due to name a new Flank Commander before year’s end.

It should be Teo. I need it to be Teo. But he makes dangerous choices sometimes. Reckless and dangerous choices.

“She has.”

“And?”

“What do you think she said?”

He’s quiet, knowing it’s a test of sorts. Then, slowly, thinking it through, “She sees advantages where others see obstacles, BloodLetter. So I’m guessing she suggested some way to use the Demon, or tame her.”

“Just so.”

“It would make a difference if she knew she was a Binder. I wouldn’t support Kylabet in that case. But you say she doesn’t? That she thinks she’s something else?”

“A BoneKeeper. Her companions address her as such as well, or ‘Keeper’, and seemingly haven’t heard of a SoulBinder.”

“Did you take her blood? Or did she give it willingly?”

“Both. And the truth holds either way.”

He hums under his breath thoughtfully. “Do you have a plan, then?”

“At the moment? Follow Kyla’s suggestion. Keep the Binder tied like a hawk, but with enough leash to fly a little. Try to figure out the puzzle before we get to the Crimson Walls.”

“A hawk?” He laughs again, shaking his head. “More a blind sparrow.”

“That’s what I mean, Teo,” I say, frowning. “Easy enough to dismiss her that way. But she’s not as blind as she seems.” Looking around me, I drop my voice, and he leans in from his mount in order to hear. “The bones she wears see for her.”

His response is immediate, horse shying away at Teo’s startled movement, though he tries to muffle it. “The bones she wears speak to her?”

“It’s privileged information, Rider,” I command, and he nods seriously. “Worn like jewelry on her arms.”

“Her bracers ? Are human bone?”

The difference is important. We wear animal bones as helmets, as armor, and, on occasion, as decoration or for ceremonial adornment.

So most people in our camp didn’t look closely at the Binder’s bracelets, not wanting to let their eyes rest too long on her.

But the long cuffs running up her arms, flashing white beneath her sleeves, would draw little to no attention in our home in any case.

You would have to know bone very, very well to tell the difference from a quick glance.

Her tiny earrings, the bones in her hair, while not commonly worn that way in our homeland, are the same.

Different, but not different enough to be alarming.

If anything, they pull her into our people, give her something that feels like them in a way.

And familiar things are rarely frightening.

“Human bone. She says they see for her, that there are souls trapped in the bones that give her information.”

Teo looks sick to his stomach, though he tries to school his face. This is why he’s not a Flank Commander yet, I think. He is not careful enough. And someone needs to be named by the time we return home. “Con trol , Teo,” I can’t help but caution softly. “Please.”

He nods, and inhales deeply. “She bound them?”

“She says they were willing, and again, tasted of truth.”

Frowning, he shoots a quick glance my way, before staring ahead again. “Is it possible she is able to lie to you, BloodLetter? I don’t doubt your tongue,” he adds quickly, cutting off any offense before it can be taken, “but maybe there is something different about her that…I don’t know. ”

“I’ve thought the same. Repeatedly. But her lies have been very clear, thistle bitter. The taste is…unpleasant.”

He nods again, forcibly relaxing his body on the horse.

We could be talking about the price of wheat now with how he looks, and I can’t help but feel a bit of hope.

He’s trying. He’s learning. “I trust you more than almost anyone, Axton. If she says they are there of their own volition, and you know that as truth, then it is truth. And perhaps her society is different than we know in some way. Even if it is objectionable to us.” He sighs, shrugging, and smiles.

Anyone watching would think we were speaking of nothing but the road ahead. “How can I help?”

And that is why I need him as Flank Commander. Because I know, with the offer, he will ride wherever I tell him, even if it is off a cliff. That he trusts me and my judgment. With Teo, I will never have to guard against my back.

“Just watch for me, Teo. Just watch. And listen around the camp. You hear things I don’t, that even Kyla doesn’t hear.”

He snorts in response. “There’s little that Kyla doesn’t hear, BloodLetter.

But my eyes and ears are yours in any case.

” He focuses in front of us, a ways ahead where the SoulBinder rides next to her guard, and frowns.

“This is a dangerous game we’re playing.

If she is what you say. And if she isn’t, for whatever reason, then what have we caught in our nets that wears human bones and holds souls inside them? ”

“Exactly so, Teo.”

He is quiet for a long, long time, the dust kicking around our horses feet, the noise of the Band around us filling the air, until, “What will the Elders do, Axton? I’m worried for you.”

Sighing deeply, I shake my head and give him an honest answer rather than a calculated one. “I don’t know. I truly don’t know. Bringing a Binder into the Crimson City? Purposefully? It’s a death sentence. But they can’t kill me , so what am I risking, and for what reward?”

Teo’s eyes jerk to Kylabet’s distant form, recognizable even though she is far enough away to be featureless. “They would punish you in the easiest way they’d see fit. ”

“They would,” I agree calmly, steady voice belying the turbulence in my heart.

“ Axton .” He tries to keep judgment from his tone, but fails.

“What risk,” I repeat again, focusing on the Binder, “for what reward, Teo? If you plan only one move ahead, you’ll lose the game every time. What will they grant us if we figure out this puzzle in time? What will they take from us if we don’t?”

Censure is clear in his response. “It’s not worth it.”

Turning to him, I pull my horse to a stop, forcing him to mirror my movements, waiting until he is completely focused on me.

“This is why I’m Commander, Rider, and you are not.

Because at the end of the day, I see the final move on the board and am willing to do what it takes to get there.

If you are not, you will never win. And if you think Kylabet would make a different choice, then you are wrong.

” Teo tilts his head, eyes locked on the bone sockets surrounding my own, not speaking.

I refuse to break the silent standoff, until finally he drops his gaze, shrugging.

Turning my horse from him, I kick it into a trot, leaving Teo at a standstill behind me. And ignore it when he calls quietly after me, “I’ll give you my ears and my eyes to help you make decisions, BloodLetter, but I’d rather give you a heart.”

It’s only unfortunate that there is no space in my chest for one.