Page 67 of The Billionaires' Gamble

Relief drips through me.

She’s safe.

On the screen, I watch as Kingston ushers Katherine into the elegant salon. She’s got him and Alex.

I wish I could hear what they’re saying, but the camera’s audio only picks up every fifth word or so. Instead of sitting here wishing, I should go aboard the yacht and see for myself. I should be with her. With them. I should apologize for losing my head this morning.

But I can’t seem to move. I can’t imagine she wants to see me right now, and I’m starting to feel like a voyeur.

With a sigh, I work on logging out of the system, cutting them both from my view. I’ve always felt confident around computers. There are right and wrong answers, programming languages with rules and syntax, ones and zeroes. Problems are fixable, and best of all, no one gets hurt when I mess up.

But life…? I run a hand along my jaw, the scruff abrading my palm. Life is messy.

I snap my laptop closed and unplug the power cord. When I left Nebraska, I embraced the messiness. Saying yes to everything the kaleidoscope of life had to offer because I alwayshad a safe place to return. The structure inside a computer. The endless possibilities.

Somehow, using all the skills I’ve gathered over the last three decades to help save a woman is not the rush you see in the movies. I’m not comfortable, and I’m not at all confident. And I shouldn’t be. I know that, deep down. I’ve only got myself to blame here.

“You going over?” Tadgh asks, voice low. He’s an arm’s length away as I pack up my stuff.

The rest of the guys are already scattered to the wind, which I expected and appreciate. They showed up when I needed them the most, and if there are any repercussions for hacking into the mega yacht’s systems, that’ll fall on me.

Either way, I’ll be sending a report to the owner as soon as possible about the security shortfalls that allowed us to take over the cameras with ease.

Am I going over there?

I glance out the side door. The big yacht looms, only a dozen feet and a big step across the open water away. Not particularly arduous. And I’m not scared of the ocean. Somewhere on that gleaming white ship is my best friend, the woman I hurt carelessly, and the man I can’t get out of my head.

The disquiet in me has nothing to do with where we are, though. I wish we were all cuddled in bed, safe. Untouched by Lucinda’s hatred.

“I think I should head to the office.”

“Sir?”

His confusion mirrors my own. What am I saying?

Why am I running away when what I really want is to run toward my favorite people?

“Ignore me,” I say. I’m not even making sense to myself.

“Can’t do that.” He sounds mildly amused. “It’s my job to have your back.”

And I appreciate that. Normally, I don’t mind having the shadow. Even multiple shadows. Lack of privacy and anonymity is a price I was willing to pay to have the money and notoriety. But right now, I have the overwhelming desire to be alone.

The boat rocks gently back and forth. The tightness in my chest is somehow both foreign and familiar.

My body feels sluggish, like I woke up after too little sleep. But my brain won’t turn off, and the same handful of questions keep ping-ponging around my skull as I analyze things from every direction. It’s like I want to run, but I can’t move.

“Hey,” Alex’s deep voice cuts through the chaos in my mind.

I feel my security team melt away as Alex steps into the room. My stomach drops, and I close my eyes for a beat. How was it just this morning that he left the townhouse and everything seemed so normal? Like any other morning. Granted, we hadn’t gotten our hoops in.

“Hey.”

I rewrap the power cord, because I need something to do with my hands. The cord keeps slipping out of my fingers, not forming a perfect loop. Frustration wells up.

A big hand closes over mine, halting my movements. “You gonna look at me?”

I don’t move. I feel numb. Paralyzed even. I shouldwantto look at him. But I don’t seem to be in control right now.