Page 6 of The Beta’s Heart (Five Fangs #5)

Tyler

Several weeks passed, and I was getting used to my new daily routine with the other betas, who all taught me a lot, even Matthew, although his attitude toward me still hung in the air. Sometimes, he was outright hostile; other times, he gave me the cold shoulder. I was fine with being ignored since that didn’t trigger River one bit, but his venomous days were hard to get through.

Emerson, Tristan, and Crew all ran interference at one time or another, mostly when ‘Meanie Boy’ tripped River’s kill switch, but Matthew wasn’t so nice to them, either, and I wondered if that was my fault.

“Sorry if I’ve caused a rift between y’all,” I told the three of them while we were on the training field waiting for Matthew, who had filled in for one of the Nightcrawlers.

“You didn’t,” Em assured me, “but it’s too bad you only know Meanie Boy and not the real Matthew.”

“Most of what comes out of his mouth right now is the grief talking,” Crew added quietly. “All we can do is support him while he grows around it on his journey through it.”

“That don’t mean we have to put up with him being an asshole to us, does it?” Tris asked, settling his hands on his hips. “Ty’s his main target most of the time, but he’s bitten all of us.”

“There’s nothing wrong with protecting ourselves when he lashes out, but we can’t take it personally. He’s not mad at us .”

“So how do we support him, but not get bit?” Em asked.

“We maintain our boundaries.” Crew’s peaceful eyes met each of ours. “Next time he snaps, tell him you’re sorry he’s struggling, but it’s not okay for him to do that, then walk away and give him space.”

“Twenty bucks says he’ll tackle me from behind,” I blurted out before I could stop myself, which made everyone laugh.

“Bro, do you even have twenty bucks?” Tris teased. “The beta pay doesn’t start for six weeks in, and you got to be broke from all that ice cream you bribe River with.”

“You should claim each and every scoop on your expenses,” Em suggested, humor making his dark eyes glitter.

“Only instead of ice cream, label it, River Management Tools,” Crew added with a serene smile, which made me laugh.

#

One Saturday morning in late May, Emerson said the betas and gammas were going to combine practice times when school let out for summer next week. That made me very happy. Not only was I buddies with all the gammas, but I could also spar regularly with Landry.

For now, though, I only had the other betas to encourage me to push myself to the limit and beyond—which they relished doing.

“Come on, Ty! Don’t let Em outdo you!” Crew teased, his breath coming in quick pants as he finished another set of push-ups five seconds before I did.

“ Me ?” I shot back, grinning despite the increasing pain and weakness in my bad arm, and I prayed it didn’t shame me and give out. “He outpaced you two reps ago.”

“No one beats Em when his beast mode is on,” laughed Tris, tossing a water bottle in my direction. “That’s why we call him Beta Beast.”

With a grin, I caught the bottle and took a long drink, savoring the cool water. It wasn’t Arizona Sweet Tea, but it would do.

Matthew, sprawled out on the grass nearby, rolled his eyes at our banter, but didn’t say anything.

“All right, enough chit-chat,” Em said, clapping his hands. “Break’s over. Last set before we hit the showers. Make it count, boys.”

We all groaned, but got back up and pushed through the final round of exercises. The camaraderie, even with Matthew’s silence, felt good and as we headed toward the showers, I relaxed and dropped my guard.

Dropped it a little too far, apparently, because I made the horrible mistake of stripping off my sweat-soaked shirt, too tired and sore to remember not to, and nearly died of shame at the sudden silence and the way they stopped to stare. As shock rippled through the beta bond, I flung my t-shirt over my shoulder to hide my back and ran ahead of them.

Tears blurred my vision as I pounded through the locker room door, wanting to crawl into a hole and die. Snatching my shower bag, I bolted into a stall, my heart pounding in my chest as I scolded myself for being so stupid.

And in front of Matthew , of all people!

I cleaned up in record time and didn’t wait around to ask anyone for a ride. River was dying to run, anyway, so I reminded him to carry my gear bag in his mouth, then shifted and let him loose.

While I might have hoped they’d just forget about it and leave me alone, something told me they wouldn’t—and I was right.

After dinner, Alpha Jay showed up at the O and asked if I would let one of the pack deltas look at my scars. He said he wanted to make sure they were as healed as they could get. I didn’t want to, but I owed all the alphas a lot, including my life, so I agreed and let him drive me to the pack’s medical clinic, where Alpha Ash was wearing a hole in the floor of the foyer.

“Is everyone okay?” I asked, searching through the bonds to see who was here with an injury.

“Yeah. Why?”

“If no one’s injured or sick, why are you here and pacing like a caged animal?”

“I’m here for you, bro!”

“What? Why?” I frowned in confusion. “What’s going on?”

“You’re my beta and my friend, and I’m worried about you. We all are. Emerson linked us about how bad your scars are, and we want to make sure you’re okay.”

“Oh.” The tension left my shoulders. “That’s all ? Whew. I thought it was something serious.”

“This is serious, Ty,” Alpha Jay insisted. “They shouldn’t be this bad. It could lead to health issues down the road or something.”

“Not to mention the fact that you’re probably self-conscious about them,” Alpha Ash chimed in. “If we can get them looking better, you won’t be so worried about your mate seeing them.”

“The Moon Goddess won’t give me a mate, alpha,” I muttered. “She wouldn’t punish some poor girl that way.”

“Shut up, kid!” Sid slipped into his voice for a second, and my mouth snapped closed. “Don’t ever say that again!”

“You are worth a mate, Tyler,” Alpha Jay broke in. “Your scars don’t make you unworthy of happiness.”

I took a deep breath, trying to wrap my head around what they were saying. It was hard to believe, but maybe they had a point. Maybe healing these dumb scars would do more than just fix my body. Maybe it could heal something inside me, too. It was a long shot, but hope was all that kept me going some days, so I decided to believe that this was the start of something better.

“All right,” I said quietly.

“Thank you.” Alpha Ash smiled, a hint of relief in his eyes. “Let’s get you checked out and see what we can do.”

Dr. Myers, Crew’s dad, came out then and led us back to a private exam room. I hesitated as I reached for the hem of my shirt, but gathered my courage and pulled it off, revealing my back first.

Dr. Myers’s gasp was quiet, but it felt like a shout in that silent room. My heart raced as I clenched my shirt in my fists, wishing I could hide the shame that made my cheeks burn.

I hate being vulnerable like this! Makes me feel so helpless!

“Do they bother you, son? And I mean beyond how they look,” Dr. Myers’ voice was tinged with concern as he rolled his stool around to face me, his eyes holding a mix of professional curiosity and genuine empathy.

“It’s not only how they look. It’s about … feeling whole again, I guess,” I admitted, and both alphas growled low in their throats. Even without looking, I knew their eyes glinted with wolf light. “But yeah, they bother me some.”

“They hurt you?” Alpha Ash rumbled.

“They restrict how far I can stretch. It’s like a band is pulling too tight for me to move in certain ways. And…”

“And what, Ty?” Alpha Jay demanded, Quartz underscoring his voice and putting all of us on edge.

“One bothers me with nearly anything I do, and one gets touchy if I move wrong.”

“Which ones?”

I turned to show them my front and waited for them to take in those scars before I pointed to the long line running up my arm.

“This one bothers me the most. It’s tender most of the time. I can handle the pain, but my arm gives out on me every once in a blue moon because of it.”

Alpha Ash clenched his fists as he stared, and Alpha Jay’s jaw tightened until I thought he’d snap his back molars.

“This one,” I ran my fingers along the ridge cutting across my pec, “just twinges every now and then, but it fights me when I’m working out or sparring.”

“Well, I’m not surprised about that, given how severe they are,” Dr. Myers sighed. “Definitely dug deep into nerves and muscles on your arm there. Good news is, I can work with River to improve your range of movement.”

“That is good news,” Alpha Jay and I agreed at the same time.

“Why didn’t River heal them any better than this, doc?” Alpha Ash demanded. “Even made with silver, they should have healed to thin white lines, not this shit!”

I froze, my spine going rigid, and I fixed my eyes on the wall.

“He didn’t mean it like that, Ty,” Alpha Jay’s soft voice came from right beside me. “ You’re not shit. Your wounds healed like shit.”

“Sorry, Ty. I’m upset.” Alpha Ash plowed his hands through his dark brown curls. “Not thinking before I open my mouth.”

“And that’s different than usual how?” Alpha Jay snarked.

Before Alpha Ash could zing him back, Dr. Myers cleared his throat, regaining our attention.

“I need to know what caused them before I make any guesses.” He glanced at me, concern in his eyes, then looked at Alpha Jay. “Can you control your wolf long enough to tell me?”

“I can, and I will.” Alpha Jay’s expression hardened, his eyes flicking back to me. “I don’t know how much you remember about the night your father—”

“I know which night you mean,” I said, a chill running down my spine. The memories I’d repressed these past six years threatened to resurface, and River whimpered in the back of my mind, scared and distressed. “Be careful, though. Riv’s already … reacting.”

“I’ll try my best,” Alpha Jay said with a nod. “You were pretty out of it when we found you, so I never thought either of you remembered much, if anything, but maybe he does.”

“It was the day after my twelfth birthday,” I said. “Riv was so traumatized by everything that had happened in those twenty-four hours, I’m not exactly sure what he can recall with any clarity, and he gets too upset if I ask him.”

“Riv, it’s okay. We’re all here for you,” Alpha Ash soothed my wolf. “Jay will tell us what he knows so you don’t have to, buddy.”

Otay, Alpha Ashy. Tanks you. Even though it was said in a shaky voice, River’s cute reply made us all smile.

“Quartz was out on a run when he stumbled upon your father,” Alpha Jay began, his voice steady but filled with anger. “Seymour was slicing you with a silver knife. Quartz took him down without hesitation, but the damage had already been done.”

My breath caught in my throat, and I had to clench my fists to keep from shaking. Memories slammed into me, a blur of pain and fear all tangled up with Mom’s pleas and Dad’s crazed eyes and the flash of moonlight on a silver blade.

You’re not there. You’re not there. You’re not there—

“Ty?” Alpha Ash waited until I looked him in the eyes. “Okay, he’s back. Go ahead, doc.”

Blinking, I turned to see Dr. Myers waiting and realized I’d zoned out for a moment.

“Did a delta ever give you a reason for your wolf being the way he is?”

“You mean essentially a baby?” I tilted my head to the side, wondering what this had to do with my scars. “No. Why?”

“I meant his explosive anger issue. As we all know, wolves either mature along with their humans or stay in a juvenile mindset. Obviously, River is in that latter category, but so much more than any other wolf I’ve ever known. I’m no psychologist, but I believe he’s so ‘ young’ and so explosive because of the trauma you mentioned and also from the effects of the silver.”

“I know we’re highly allergic to silver, but I’ve never heard of a wolf being mentally affected by it.” Alpha Ash tugged at his dark brown curls. “I thought only wolfsbane could do something like that to our wolves.”

“That’s true, but look at how many scars there are! That’s a lot of repeated contact with silver within… Do you have any idea how long, Beta Ty?”

I shivered a little, not wanting to remember anything about that night, but if it could help me now and possibly make my future better, I needed to confront my past.

“I don’t know. I remember it was getting dark when he dragged Mom into the woods.” I dropped my head and fidgeted with my fingers. “I followed because I was scared he was going to do something worse to her—”

“What do you mean, worse ?” Alpha Jay growled. “Is that what you meant by Riv being traumatized before Seymour cut you up?”

“He beat her,” I admitted and closed my eyes. “It was bad. When he was done, she couldn’t even get up off the floor. When I tried to help her, he locked me in the kitchen pantry. Between us, River and I managed to break down the door, then we followed them. It was getting dark, like I said, and by the time I found them, it was too late for Mom. He’d already killed her. That’s when he started in on me.”

“Aw, Ty, I am so sorry,” Alpha Ash breathed and wrapped me up in a big hug. Dude was so ridiculously tall, my face was smashed into the notch between his collar bones, and I was six foot three!

As he squeezed me hard, I patted his back to signal that he was crushing me, but he only squeezed harder, and Alpha Jay snorted as he pulled me away with one hand and pushed the giant hug monster back with the other.

“Jay! I was comforting him!”

“You were squeezing the life out of him, you python! Now let me finish telling my side of the story!” Alpha Jay chided him, and Alpha Ash folded his arms over his chest with a pout, which made me snicker.

“Do you know about what time Quartz came on the scene?” Dr. Myers asked.

“No, but it was just starting to get dark when we left our place. Quartz didn’t get very far on his run, maybe ten minutes, before he sensed something was wrong and went looking for what it might be.”

“You linked the border patrol while he was mauling Seymour?” Alpha Ash asked.

“Yes, and Nathan Barlow and Royal Price. By the time they all got there, I remember you weren’t bleeding anymore, Ty, which is why I never guessed you had scars like this. I thought Riv healed you.”

“He did heal him,” Dr. Myers said. “Otherwise, Beta Ty would have bled out from that laceration on his arm alone.”

“So what? River panicked? Overdid the healing?” I asked.

“Try to imagine what it was like for him,” Dr. Myers said gently. “A juvenile newborn wolf in a traumatized state suddenly has to deal with a dozen or more critical wounds caused by silver. He probably focused solely on getting the bleeding to stop, but in his confusion and fear and, yes, panic, he left keloids behind.”

“Left what behind?” Alpha Ash asked before I could.

“These scars are called keloids. Humans get them, and that’s where I’ll look for a treatment since I don’t know much about them. I do know that I can help River improve the muscle and soft tissue, beta, which will restore your range of movement.”

“That’s all I need, doc,” I said gratefully.

“As for why River is the way he is,” Dr. Myers sat back and crossed his arms over his chest, “my guess is that the silver poisoning retarded his development as much as the trauma did.”

“Did what to his development?” Alpha Jay snarled, his hazel eyes glinting gold with Quartz.

“We can say stunted or delayed, if you’d rather. It’s clear that River was always going to be a juvenile wolf, but what he went through took a toll on his mental growth, resulting in a more child-like wolf than normal. As for his anger issue, he was scarred enough from witnessing your father harming your mother and being unable to protect her or you. Then Seymour killed her and attacked you, and again he couldn’t protect either of you. That would have broken something inside any beta wolf.”

Me sorry, Ty-Ty, River said in a very small voice. Me sorry me broked.

“Oh, no, no, baby,” I crooned, sending my wolf a blast of love and comfort. “You’re not broken. You’re a good boy. And I don’t blame you for anything. I never have. You did your best, and you saved me.”

“Yeah, Riv,” Alpha Ash jumped in, “you are the perfect example of how something can be imperfect and still wonderful.”

“That’s kind of a backhanded compliment,” Alpha Jay muttered out of the side of his mouth, but I flapped my shirt at him to shut him up because River had puffed his chest out with pride.

Me wonnerful, Alpha Ashy?

“You sure are, buddy. Isn’t he, Jay?” Alpha Ash aimed the stare of death at Alpha Jay, who rolled his eyes.

“I don’t need to be threatened to tell the truth,” he sneered, then in a kinder voice, told River, “You are sweet and precious.”

That made him happy, and his tail wagged as he bounced around in my head.

“Ty, do you remember what triggered your dad to attack your mom in the first place?” Alpha Ash asked me after a moment.

“You’re assuming it was a one-time thing,” Alpha Jay growled as they both looked at me, their eyes asking the question.

“My memories from before that night are hazy,” I admitted, “but I remember him hitting her. For some reason, it happened more often as I got older, or else I just noticed it more. I don’t know.”

“Did he hit you, too?” Alpha Jay asked.

“Sometimes.” I lifted my chin, determined to finish this now. “As for what set him off, Mom and I had been packing our essentials. She’d had enough and was ready to run. She said there was someone in the Blue Rock pack who would help us, but Dad came home from work too early. You know the rest.”

“I have a question,” Dr. Myers said. “How was Seymour able to hurt his mate and pup? Our wolves won’t allow that. They punish us and take control if we even think about it.”

“Maybe your mom wasn’t his Goddess-given mate,” Alpha Ash suggested. “Or maybe you weren’t his biological son.”

“ What ?” I’d never even considered either of those scenarios.

“Or maybe his wolf went insane or feral or faded back to the Goddess and no one knew it,” Alpha Jay theorized. “Quartz says he only sensed River there that night. Ty? Do you remember his wolf or your mom’s?”

“No.” I shook my head. “I can’t really remember anything about either of their wolves, not even their names, to be honest. Like I said, my earlier memories are murky at best.”

“We’ll do some digging at the alpha library.” Alpha Jay nudged my arm with his elbow, and I nodded.

The two of us spent a good chunk of our free time there; after the Busted Knuckle, it was like another home for me.

“It’d be nice if someone would go over to the old Dark Woods medical clinic and see if there were any surviving records,” Dr. Myers said in a tone that told me it wasn’t the first time he was making the suggestion.

“Hell, doc, you got legs, same as us!” Alpha Ash snorted. “Carry your ass over there and have a look-see all you want!”

“I’d rather not take my life in my hands by entering a dilapidated building infested with mice and snakes, all with the threat of the roof falling on my head, thank you very much.”

“Well, I can’t imagine anyone else fucking wants to, either!”

“Watch your language, Ash,” Alpha Jay chided him. “Mase and Cole would put you on laundry duty for a month if they heard how you were talking to a medical professional right now.”

“Sorry, doc,” Alpha Ash muttered.

“Thank you. Now as I was saying—”

“Emerson wanted to be here, too, Ty, but we talked him out of it,” he cut Dr. Myers off and turned to me. “We thought it would be too much to have four people staring at you. I know you may be upset that he snitched on you, but he really does care about you. We all do.”

“That’s right. We do,” Alpha Jay said. “We want you to take the treatment with Dr. Myers. You deserve to feel whole again. We’re going to see about getting a therapist to work with you, too.”

“River especially would benefit from that, Beta Ty,” Dr. Myers added. “As I said, such incomprehensible violence left an emotional and psychological impact on him, too.”

“Riv? What do you think?” I asked him.

Scar, no scar, still Ty-Ty, but scar make Ty-Ty sad. Me want Ty-Ty happy.

“But what about you, baby? Dr. Myers said it would help you, too.” I wasn’t sure he was processing everything, but at least his fear had faded. “Is that all right?”

Yep-yep! If Ty-Ty do it, me do it!

“All right, then. We’ll try it.” I looked at Dr. Myers, then the alphas. “I appreciate this.”

“We’ll get you and your wolf all the help you need.” Alpha Ash came in for another hug, and I dodged like lightning behind Alpha Jay so that he got slammed instead of me.

“Get off of me, you fucking giraffe!”

“Language, Jay. Mase and Cole would—”

“Make up your own lines instead of stealing mine all the time!” Alpha Jay huffed as he wiggled his way free of Alpha Ash’s long arms. “You giant copycat!”

“You know, alpha, they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.” With twinkling eyes, Dr. Myers helped out Alpha Ash, who was known for not always catching all the nuances of a conversation.

It wasn’t his fault exactly. His brain was very distracted and struggled to focus on one thing at a time. Since we got here, he’d touched nearly everything in the exam room, stolen Dr. Myers’ stethoscope and listened to all our hearts while we talked, and probably had half a dozen different conversations with himself inside his head or with Sid—and we’d only been here about an hour. No wonder he hadn’t noticed when he interrupted someone or word vomited or was being roasted: By this time of day, he was in cognitive burnout.

“Aw, I’m sorry, Ash.” Alpha Jay gave a fake sniff. “All these years, I thought you were being annoying. I never realized you were vying for president of my fan club. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome!” Alpha Ash grinned broadly at first, then his eyebrows slammed together. “Hey! Wait a minute!”

As they squabbled, Dr. Myers and I chuckled, and I pulled my shirt on with a lighter heart, happy to have so many good people in my life.