Page 39 of The Best Worst Thing

He nodded, jaw still dropping as his chest rose and his eyes closed and his hands crawled farther up her thighs. His fingertips slid beneath the lace on her hips as Nicole fumbled for the seat recliner.

“All I think about,” she said, centering him between her legs, “is what it’s going to feel like when you finally take me upstairs. When you’re finally …”

He inhaled and nodded and muttered all at once.

“Open your eyes,” she said.

“Nicole …”

“Yeah?” She parted her lips and locked his gaze and then, when she was sure he wouldn’t miss it, lifted up his shirt and began sliding her mouth down his heaving chest so slowly every bit of him shuddered.

Beneath her dress, his hands were wandering up her stomach, past her ribs, and toward the frilly beginning of her bralette.

She helped him up another inch, another two inches, until he’d dug his fingers beneath the lace and she was soft in the palms of his hands.

She groaned, pinned his fists behind his head, and teased her lips farther down his torso while he sunk deeper into his seat.

She circled his erection, then unbuttoned his fly. His eyes bulged.

“What are you doing?”

Nicole inched down his jeans. “What does it look like I’m doing?”

Another odd noise.

“Logan,” she said.

He was panting. “Yeah?”

“Tell me you still want me. Tell me you—”

He lunged forward and kissed her.

He kissed her harder than anyone had kissed her, ever before.

Every ounce of it, filthy. Tongues and lips and teeth and throats, all so hard and sloppy and certain Nicole wondered if he wasn’t going to shove himself inside her right then and there—just yank her underwear aside and bite down on her shoulder and make her scream his name until she couldn’t take it any longer.

Until she fell apart, half dressed and a complete mess in his arms.

“You’re killing me,” he said, jerking her closer, grabbing her harder. “You know how good you look. You know how good you sound. You know what you do to me.”

Nicole moaned, then pushed him back against his seat and dropped her hands onto the waistband of his boxers. She traced the juts of his hip bones while he inhaled, fists clutched.

“Can I touch you?” she said.

He nodded. He was staring at her, watching her watch him as she finally began to feel him.

To learn him. His jaw softened and his shoulders stiffened and his eyes rolled as he bent to her touch.

She licked her lips, then slid onto the floor mat beneath him, gliding her tongue down his tensing stomach and kissing the twitching muscles along the way.

“Holy shit,” he said.

Nicole looked up at him, teeth on his waistband as he throbbed in her hands. “Is this okay?”

He nodded. His chest, rising and falling. His hands, clenched onto either side of his seat as Nicole slipped her lips a little lower, kissed him a little closer, made him breathe a little louder.

“I want to take care of you,” she said. “I want to make that whole night up to you. I—”

“Nicole, wait,” he said, pulling back, peeling her off him. She froze. “We need to talk, okay?”

“Oh my god. I’m so sorry. I thought you said yes. I thought you wanted this.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” he said, yanking up his jeans before lifting her onto his lap.

She closed her eyes and tried to wriggle away, but he held her back.

“I’m literally dying. There’s not a bone in my body that doesn’t want to say yes.

To that, to you. To everything. I want all of you.

I’m the dumbest man in the world. I’ll never sleep again. I just—”

“I’m not going to change my mind. That’s not going to happen, ever again. I promise.”

“It’s not that. It’s …”

Nicole wrinkled her nose. Logan, after a long exhale, put his arms around her waist.

“Listen,” he said. “When we do this, I want you to be completely sure. I want us to be on the same page. And I want you to understand that you don’t owe me a thing.”

“I am sure.” She tried to look at him. “I won’t ever be more sure. You have to believe me.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” he said. “Not yet, okay?”

Nicole nodded, then tugged down her dress and again began climbing into her seat. Logan, at once, pulled her back into his arms and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

“Hey,” he said. “I just want to slow things down. That’s all. I promise.”

“Because I freaked out after our date? Because of what I told you today? Because I’m going to be a mom?”

“It’s not that simple. It’s a lot of things. This is complicated, what we’re doing. Now more than ever. And we didn’t quite get it right the first time, you know?”

Nicole looked down, tracing her wrist. “I wanted to call you. After what happened. I wanted to call you every night.”

“I wanted to call you too. I wanted to make sure you were okay. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do.”

“Me neither.”

Logan took a deep breath. Outside, the hushed, narrow alley they’d been blocking had grown dark. For a few moments, Nicole just sat there. Her body, hot and cold and confused. Her mind, a mess. She wrung her hands together and closed her eyes.

“I like you,” she said. “I like you so much. I’m not sure if adults still say that to each other. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what’s cool or okay or how any of this is going to work. I just like you. And I just wanted to say that out loud, I think.”

Nicole held her breath, waiting for a response.

Too afraid to open her eyes. Too afraid to read his face.

She just sat there, dented and desperate and his for the taking.

But all Logan did was find her chin and tilt it toward his and wait for her to open her eyes.

And when she finally did—even though her gaze remained fixed on her lap—he pressed his palms onto the tops of her tensed shoulders and dug his fingertips into the base of her neck.

“Dave’s wife had to make me depression lasagna, you know.”

A bit of warmth flickered between Nicole’s ribs. “And what does that entail, exactly?”

“It’s just regular lasagna,” he said, kneading his fingers a little harder, a little lower. “But served to me on their couch in broad daylight while I watch Lord of the Rings on mute because I’m sad about a girl.”

“Does she serve that often?”

“No,” he said, kissing her wrists. “Only on special occasions.”

Nicole looked up at him and smiled. At once, Logan beamed.

“You’re such a dork,” she said. “I don’t know what we’re going to do about it.”

He laughed, then looked right at her. “This baby thing … I don’t want to pretend it’s nothing. It’s a really big deal. But we have time, okay? We deserve a little time. Let’s just slow down and see what we have here. I would really, really like to see what we have here.”

Nicole nodded. Logan grabbed his phone and began swiping through his calendar.

“And on that note,” he said, “what are you doing Labor Day Weekend?”

“Nothing, I think.”

He typed for a few seconds. A moment later, Nicole’s phone buzzed. She grabbed it from the cupholder.

“Is this a calendar invite to fuck you?”

“Sure is.”

She peered at the screen. “I can’t wait three weeks.”

Logan slid his hands up her dress, yanked her back into him, and kissed her again.

“Three weeks is nothing,” he said. “Trust me.”