Page 18 of The Bell’s Toll (Wanderlust Emporium Presents, Season One)

Her words cut me. It’s no lie that I’ve struggled in the sex department. I tried everything. He told me that he didn’t care, but obviously he did. It bothered him so much that he pillow talked about it with my sister.

He grabs her off the bed by her face. “Don’t you ever disrespect her like that.” When he lets her go, she cries.

“I can’t believe you. All that I’ve given you. I gave up my marriage to be with you.”

“You gave up your marriage because your fiancé caught you sucking my dick. Don’t act like you voluntarily called it off.”

It makes sense now why her ex called off the wedding so abruptly. Wish he would’ve told me what he’d seen.

“Have you seen enough?” Raziel asks from beside me.

I turn to him. The sneer or humor I expected to see on his face is absent. He watches me closely; his hands stuffed in his pockets.

“You knew?” I ask.

He turns back to the arguing couple. “Yes.”

A sob comes up, but I cover it with my hand over my mouth. “How long has this been going on?”

He hesitates before answering. “Not long after the both of you made it official. If it makes you feel better, he turned her down the first time she came on to him.”

It, in fact, didn’t make me feel better. Not at all.

Raziel and I both turn back to them when Rochelle tosses a lamp at Jamieson that he dodges.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he shouts.

“Don’t ever say that. I’m nothing like that bitch Angelica.”

Jamieson chuckles. “Not only are you fucking a man that doesn’t belong to you, now you’re freaking out because I won’t be with you? You’re exactly like Angelica. I don’t blame Romeo for finally cutting her ass off. Who the fuck sells their daughter’s soul to keep her lover?” He shakes his head.

“Nasiah is gone. She’s not coming back,” Rochelle shouts.

I turn to Raziel. “Why can’t they see me?”

“I have you in the void. You’re behind an invisible wall.”

I have the chance to disappear and leave them here.

They would never know I was here. I could walk out of this apartment and go on with my life.

He would never move on because he’d wait for me, and she would never fully have him.

I could leave and make them miserable while they wait in this purgatory of a relationship they’ve created.

I turn back to face my sister and fiancé. Fuck that. “Remove the wall.”

He’s silent for a moment. I can’t tell when the wall dropped, but I knew the moment it did because two pairs of eyes turned to me in shock.

“Nasiah,” Jamieson shrieks.

He tries to come toward me. I step back, but there was no need. Raziel appears in front of me.

“You will get only one warning tonight. If you touch her, I will break your fucking spine.”

Jamieson looks taken aback by the threat, but he doesn’t argue against it.

“How could you?” I finally ask, breaking the stare off between the two men.

Raziel steps to the side allowing me to face Jamieson. My fiancé swipes his hand over his low cut. I can tell a lie is coming before it even leaves his lips.

“It’s not what it looks like. We were just talking.”

“With your dick out?” I ask, glancing down at his boxer covered penis.

He shakes his head. He attempts to take a step toward me but stops. “Okay, look, you’re right. We messed around. But I was missing you, and I got lonely. I was vulnerable, and Rochelle just happened to come by.”

I look over at my sister. She’s staring angrily at Jamieson. She just told this man that she loved him, and she wanted to be with him. I was wondering how she could stand there and hear him lie about their relationship.

Then it dawns on me. Jamieson was right about one thing; Rochelle was my mother. In some twisted fate, I ended up in just as much of a fucked-up love triangle as my parents. However, I refused to play my mother or Vanessa in this.

Looking back at Jamieson, I shake my head. “Three years. I admit, I wasn’t perfect. I had my issues, but I was good to you. I loved you.”

“Baby, I love you too. Nasiah, we can get past this.”

Rochelle scoffs. I turn to glare at her.

“And you.”

“Don’t even,” she snarls. Climbing off the bed, she picks up Jamieson’s discarded shirt and pulls it on. “I don’t owe you shit. Jamie and I love each other.”

“Shut the fuck up, Ro,” Jamieson shouts.

“No,” she snaps with tears in her eyes. “I’m tired of hiding and sharing you with that bitch. All my life she has had everything.”

“Everything?” I ask, baffled.

“Yes,” she shouts. “You were always the chosen child. Siah is so quiet, I hardly know she’s home.

Siah keeps her room clean. Siah is so smart she gets good grades.

Siah this and Siah that. No matter what I did, it was never good enough for him.

And Mommy was no different. She always wanted me to be more like you. ”

I watch as tears track down Ro’s face. For the first time, I see what her childhood looked like.

“I was constantly reminded that I wasn’t you.”

We lived two different versions of the same life. Each of us thought the other had it better. It’s still proven that Romeo spent more time with Rochelle than me, but I guess it wasn’t all roses. She and I are both broken products of the fucked-up adults in our lives.

“So you took the hurt caused by our parents out on me?” Hey, I get trauma causes people to do stupid things, but it doesn’t give her an excuse for this.

She roughly wipes her face, clearing her tears. “Finally, I found someone who values me more than you. I provided him with something you never could. Nasiah wasn’t good at everything after all.” Her chin lifts in the air.

That chasm in my heart seems to grow wider.

“Listen,” Jamieson pleads. “You know we have that problem with sex.” I cut my eyes away from him.

“You got a problem with sex, Beauty?” Raziel’s question has me lifting my head toward him. The smirk on his face catches me off guard.

Rochelle chuckles. “She can’t get wet for shit. Lays there like an unresponsive sack of potatoes.” She mocks. I look back at Jamieson. He looks away shamefully.

“Bet you wish you would’ve taken someone else,” Rochelle laughs.

“Damn,” Raziel says. “I must have missed all this.” He holds up his fingers that are still glistening with my arousal. “Twice I had you running like a got damn river.” He sticks the digits in his mouth.

My face flames. Rochelle gasps, covering her mouth.

“What?” Jamieson asks.

I turn to see him watching me.

“You fucked him?” he roars.

“I…..”

“No,” Raz says with a grin. “My dick hasn’t been in her yet. Trust me, if it had, she wouldn’t be here worried about this bullshit.” He points at the rumpled bed. “But she has let me taste that sweet pussy. And might I say, it is delicious.”

A chill runs up my spine when he mentions it. As if he knows what it does to me, he winks and blows me a kiss.

“I can’t believe you,” Jamieson shouts, tossing up his hands. “You let this fucking demon have you?” The way his nose is turned up, you would think I’d rolled around in dog shit.

“He’s not a demon,” I find myself arguing.

J shakes his head. “I can’t believe you.”

“You’ve been fucking my sister since we started dating. Don’t act as if I’ve committed a crime. Letting him eat my coochie as punishment doesn’t really compare.” I avoid mentioning him finger fucking me just now.

J’s face softens. He runs a hand over his head. “You’re right. But now that we’ve both messed up, we can fix this. We can work through this.”

“No,” my sister yells. “You can’t take her back. She…. she cheated. She doesn’t deserve you.... We’re having a baby.”

The way Jamieson’s eyes widen, and he looks over to Rochelle, I can tell this is news to him. Watching my sister damn near hyperventilate over a man that wasn’t hers, a man that’s showing her to her face he didn’t want her, made me feel sorry for her. It also made me think of my mom.

I know that even if by some miracle, Raziel lets me go, and I somehow put this shit behind me and took Jamieson back, Rochelle would never let him go. She would be his secret for the rest of her life. Just like mama.

Well, that stops here. We are breaking the cycle. No more children will grow up in this fucked-up dynamic.

“You know what,” I say, getting both of their attention back. “I can’t do this.”

“Nasiah, baby, let’s talk this out.” J pleads.

I walk out of the bedroom and into the living room. J follows with Rochelle on his heels. Raziel appears out of thin air, his back leaning against the wall by the door.

“Let her go, Jamie,” Ro shouts. “It can just be me, you, and the baby.”

“Siah, please,” J pleads behind me.

I turn to glare at him.

“Please what? You of all people knew how I felt about my parent’s situation. I’ve poured my heart out to you about my trauma, and you go and put me in the same fucking situation.”

He reaches for me, but I step back.

“Don’t forget my warning,” Raziel says casually.

J shakes his head. “What did you expect? Sex is a big part of a relationship.”

“I was fucking you,” I shout. “Even when it was unpleasant. Even when I wasn’t getting any enjoyment out of the act, I rolled over and spread my legs for you every time you asked. If sex with me was that got damn unpleasant, you could have told me.”

I knew I had issues with sex, but I was willing to do anything to make it work with him. I bought gels and jellies and went to see specialists. Hell, my jaws were damn near ready to retire, I put in so much work. He doesn’t get to use sex as an excuse.

“You hurt me, J. I trusted you with my heart and you tossed it away like garbage.” I swipe at the tears running down my face. “Have a good life.”

I turn to walk away.

“Nasiah, please.” Jamieson grabs my arm, turning me back around.

One minute he is standing in front of me, the next he is flying across the room.

He slams into the wall so hard he makes a huge hole in the drywall.

Rochelle screams as she runs over to him.

Raziel is now standing in front of me. His shoulders rise and fall with his deep intake.

“I told you not to touch her,” he says.

I watch my sister cradle my fiancé’s head in her lap as she cries over him. Jamieson groans. He’s still alive. I try to muster up some emotion for him. I should care that he’s injured. But all I feel is numb.

“Get me out of here, Razzy,” I plead.

He turns to me, his black eyes taking me in. The dark smoke rises from him.

“I hate you.” We both turn to my sister.

She stares back at me with so much hatred in her eyes I gasp at the sight. “I want you to know that I hate you. I hope with all my might that you die.”

Her words hit me hard. Because no matter how I feel right now. Even when I watched her fucking my man, did I ever wish death on her.

Instead of responding, I turn back to Raziel. Without saying a word, he wrapped his arms around me. The smoke covers us, and the feeling of falling takes over. When the smoke clears, I’m back at his place. I’m back home.