Page 29 of The Beginning (Covert Moon, #1)

It was no wonder I was obsessing over the past with my friend Gavin. Lacking in purpose, wallowing in self-pity. He'd been the reason I'd been sent here, but it was my own choices that'd gotten me to this moment.

I couldn't blame it all on Gavin.

If I ever saw him again, I couldn’t say whether I would punch him in the nose or shake his hand for giving me much to think on. I doubted I would ever have such a chance, in either case. Although I felt better for being prepared. The thought made me laugh, just a little.

Besides, ruminating about Gavin kept my mind off my own problems. While in one manner, my problems were no longer at the forefront, since I'd been reassigned and that was that, it wasn’t true in my case. I still had questions.

Where was Gavin? Why'd he do this? To the Guards? To me, his supposed friend? What would happen with me and Wenda?

I sighed heavily. There was still much to be done. While I wasn't happy with what looked like my choices, I still had tasks to accomplish. I returned my attention to the man in front of me.

"I'm sorry, sir," Tobias said. He was a Watcher under my command, but we had little direct contact daily.

He was one of the quieter ones, the sort who did his job competently but without fanfare.

The kind of man who kept his head down and stayed out of trouble—usually a good quality in this sort of posting.

"He isn't there. I've attempted to reach him, and I haven't gotten any response from him. "

Tobias looked genuinely concerned. Which made sense, as some of the Watchers had developed a casual attitude when they couldn’t reach their colleagues, treating absences as minor inconveniences rather than potential emergencies.

It was something I was working on shifting.

If men in this command were not in touch, that was an emergency.

"How responsive has he been in the past, generally?

" We had any number of Watchers who lived just across the veil in the Human Realm.

They lived close to known natural portals, rather than manufactured via a spell or intent from a fae using magic.

I thought of them as holes in a blanket.

Some holes just happened. Then there were some that were created deliberately.

The Watchers positioned men at places where the holes occurred naturally within the Veil.

We didn't need humans falling into Fae, or fae falling into the Human Realm. That was a recipe for disaster.

It was dangerous work, really. These men lived alone, often for months at a time, with minimal contact with their own kind.

They had to blend in with human society while maintaining their vigilance, watching for signs of dimensional instability or unauthorized crossings.

It was enough to drive anyone to drink, honestly.

In living predominantly in the Human Realm, some of our Watchers became less than.

.. shall we say, attentive? That was a kind way to put it.

Because I'd been thinking of my friend, I was in the mood to be somewhat kind.

For a moment, anyway. I'd never met the Watcher in question and had no idea as to his usual habits and behaviors.

He'd been in the Human Realm since I took over as captain.

I hoped that the man in front of me would be honest.

Tobias looked uncomfortable at the question, which meant that the Watcher we were speaking of was probably not the most reliable of men. His shoulders tensed, and he wouldn't quite meet my eyes. That was answer enough, really, but I needed details.

"It's alright to tell me if he's less than detailed in his habits. Does he typically respond in a timely fashion?"

Tobias seemed relieved that I'd taken the burden of explanation from him. His posture relaxed slightly, and he managed to look me in the eye again.

"He responds within a day or so, sir. He..." And then he stopped.

"He?" I prompted.

"He favors the spirits and taverns of the Human Realm," Tobias got out in a rush.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Everyone here knew this was a tedious and boring assignment at times. That wasn't a reason for drinking yourself into a stupor, so you were derelict in your duty. There was no excuse for it.

But at the same time, I understood it. The isolation, the constant vigilance, the knowledge that you were stuck in a posting no one wanted with little hope of advancement or recognition.

It was enough to drive anyone to seek comfort in a bottle.

That didn't make it right, but it made it understandable.

"What do you normally do when you haven't heard from him in more than one day?

" I decided not to assign any blame or judgment.

The important thing was to determine what might've happened to him, figure out if anything was wrong, and address the situation.

Keeping blame out of the discussion would be the best way for the man to work with me.

They weren't a trusting lot, these Watchers. They tended to be gruff, and usually, like me, were sent here over some infraction. There was a thread of bitterness that seemed to run within us all. It flared up from time to time depending on what was going on, and who was drawing what sort of duty.

We were all damaged goods in one way or another.

Men who'd made mistakes, shown poor judgment, or simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time. The Watchers were where careers came to die, and everyone knew it. That knowledge created a certain solidarity among us, but also a defensive wariness toward anyone who might be seen as an outsider. Something that I’d noticed, however, was that these men were resourceful.

They didn’t take orders without question.

Their questions might border on impertinence, but when I’d been questioned, I had to admit the questions were good.

I’d seen them questioning Connar as well.

He’d told me that discussion was the norm here.

At first, it had made me uneasy. Now, I found that I liked the challenge of thinking in ways that weren’t always the obvious solution.

However, it would take a while for them to see me as one of their own.

Since arriving here, I’d learned there was a rivalry of sorts in the way the Watchers viewed King’s Guardsmen and other royal guards.

As a former member of the King's Guard, I was an outsider coming into a command role.

If only they knew how my life had changed.

Not only was I exactly like them; I'd fallen so far down there was no guarantee or even much hope I would ever get back up.

No matter what my former commander said or attempted to promise.

"If we hadn't heard from him after a day, the captain would venture into the Human Realm, and find him. Captain Connar would do the same for any of us, any of the Watchers. Sir," Tobias added, still not looking completely at ease.

I nodded, again feeling appreciation for the efficiency of Connar.

The man had clearly cared about his people, had made sure they knew they wouldn't be abandoned if something went wrong.

It was a good policy, and one I'd need to continue.

I could also understand why he'd looked the way he did when I'd first met him.

This was like minding children—dangerous, troubled children who were prone to disappearing without notice.

After two months, I could see why some of these men had landed here.

They didn't seem to have learned their lesson, and sometimes common sense fell out the window.

But overall, they were good men, brave when it mattered, loyal to each other if not always to authority.

It stood to reason that those stuck in the Human Realm, denied even this small bit of living in the Fae Realm, would fall victim to the taverns of the area.

"Very well, what sort of arrangements need to be made for that to happen? I trust you've seen this before? Or participated in a search?"

Tobias nodded, some of his nervousness dissipating. "Yes, sir! I can certainly get the travel arrangements organized for you."

There was a process, apparently, for crossing into the Human Realm.

Permits, documentation, cover stories. All very bureaucratic and official.

Even our emergencies had to be properly filed and approved.

It was both a blessing and a curse that I was in charge of all of those things.

Sometimes I wondered if the paperwork would eventually consume us all.

"Then let us do that. I’ll get the paperwork, you handle the other arrangements so I may travel, and I'd like to take you with me. Just so you can show me around, and hopefully, we'll find him and discover how this happened."

Tobias nodded, turned and practically raced from the room. I sighed. At least this would break up some of the tedium of the never-ending day that was now my post.