Page 18 of The Battery

Cody

I put on the cologne Leo had given me. That was almost a month ago, which was hard to believe. I coiffed my hair for what had to be the dozenth time. I wore a black V-neck that I thought accented my upper body just right. I went barefoot and wore a pair of shorts that hugged my thighs.

The nerves roiling in my belly felt different than the ones before game time.

A part of me felt silly for doing this. My desperation for Leo to come over tonight was obvious for the man to see and hopefully he didn’t read too much into it.

I had no intention of throwing the ball.

Instead, I lit candles, ordered a nice meal that I assumed he’d like, and would eat dinner with him in the dining room. Hopefully, he’d open up.

We had already accelerated through the critical layout he made for me.

The pitching staff felt confident in my advancement to being a setup man as the weeks went on.

If Leo and I kept our unbreakable playing style, there was nothing to stop me from advancing.

Now that I felt confident in that bond on the field, I wanted to form something deeper off the field.

I could see the specter of a haunted past that hid behind those eyes of his.

If I could just reach it, or at least show him I was a trusted person, maybe we could…

I heard a car pull into the driveway. Leo in his absurdly large SUV the color of midnight with blackout windows.

He climbed out, wearing workout shorts and a loose tank top.

The blue Riders cap on his head sat backward.

A pair of designer shades covered his face.

He pulled them off as he hip-checked the driver’s door closed.

I had the screened front door open as he ascended the three steps of the stoop. “Yo,” I said with a smile. “Come on in.”

He didn’t say anything, just tucked his sunglasses into his pocket.

A short hallway walk brought us to the kitchen that overlooked the backyard.

“So, I thought…” I said and led him to the right where a narrow archway led into the dining room and a table for four.

A bay window let in plenty of light, but the flickering candles still looked nice.

Food was already plated—steak and potatoes.

Three different types of wine sat on the table, though I didn’t know if he even liked wine or would drink it the day before a series.

I kept walking forward and went to make a joke about said wine, when Leo said, “What the hell is this?”

I stopped. Looked at him.

And everything within me crashed. That piss off stare of his had inflamed to something more egregious.

“Dinner,” I said in a small voice. “I, um, thought—”

“You thought what ?” he interrupted.

I held my tongue and looked at the gentle flickering of the candles.

Overkill? Maybe. But I wanted the gesture to be kind.

“Sorry,” I said, voice still small and away like a distant object.

I hurriedly blew out the candles. Wisps of smoke drifted lazily toward the ceiling. “I just wanted to have a nice dinner.”

“You mean a date?”

Yes. “No.”

“Bullshit,” he said. Venom spat from his voice. “ Bullshit , Cody. What the hell are you trying to do here?”

I took a single step backward. Ice formed in my belly. “Look, you don’t have to get mad, all right?”

His brow went up. “ Mad? Cody, you’re ruining everything .”

Felt like someone drove a lead pipe into my kneecaps. I wobbled and shot out a hand to the back of a chair to stay steady. I teetered on the edge of an emotion I didn’t want to take over. It would only take a single nudge if he didn’t reverse course.

“It’s just a nice dinner, Leo. We’ve eaten together plenty of times. This isn’t different.”

“ This is absolutely different.” He pointed toward the candles. “What the hell is this romance shit, Cody? What made you think that this dumbass decision was a good one?”

Tipped. I felt shame. Embarrassment even. Now, just anger. The ice caught fire.

“I thought that you’d want a nice break from the constant battle,” I said with a clear, strong tone. If he was surprised, he didn’t show it.

“What makes you think I need that? What special insight do you have?”

Abruptly he turned to leave. As if he could get the last word.

He was two steps away from me when I renewed the argument.

“You don’t think I can see something hurts?

I’ve spent the past month practically glued to your side.

” He stopped. When he turned, I saw fury in his eyes.

I didn’t flinch. “I don’t know what it is you’re hiding but I know it’s something deep and it’s cutting you. ”

“You have no right trying to butt in,” Leo said, words nearly trembling as he took a single step toward me.

“I’m not some simpering little boy who needs to bitch and moan about how poor life has treated me, unlike some people .

” Now that caught me by surprise. He continued on the offensive before I could mount my own defense.

“Poor little Cody, talented enough to make it to the majors but too pussy emotionally to remain. It’s pathetic, Hill.

Where would you be right now if I didn’t sink hours and hours of my time into helping you?

We were dominating the field and now what did you do with that gift?

Threw it in my face. Oh, because you want to jerk off your feelings to feel better?

Fuck off with that shit. Why can’t you separate sex and sentiment like a real man? ”

I could have gone atomic on him then. I certainly wanted to. Instead, only one thought came to mind.

He’s hurting.

And it wasn’t from me. His uncle? If only he had opened up. If only he let me in.

“You’re right,” I said. Not a small voice, though not loud. Just… defeated . “Yeah. You’re right. I don’t really know you. It was fun, the stuff we did. And thank you for helping me get—”

“I don’t need a speech,” he interrupted.

“All right? Just… we’re just teammates who fool around, Cody.

Look,” he said with a lighter tone, though the severity in his face didn’t abate.

“I told you once that I’m able to separate things.

This was one of those. It’s on me that I wasn’t clear enough on what that meant. ”

“I’m not some overly emotional—”

“Stop,” he said. Fuck, but if these interruptions didn’t grind me to the bone. “It doesn’t matter. None of this matters. Professionally, we’re synched up. Let’s leave it there.”

He turned and left.

The shame I thought I wouldn’t feel hit me like a fastball to the gut. I actually doubled over as the front door slammed shut. I sank into one of the chairs and stared at the perfectly seared steak, now evidence of my idiocy.

Which I was. An idiot, through and through. What was I thinking? Leo was right. Of course he was. He told me that day, when I let slip on my confusion, that he was able to separate all these things. It was just something physical. A release. Nothing more.

I forced myself to eat, if only for the protein. Went to bed early.

Blasted the white noise, as if the static could drown out the naysayers in my head.