Page 17 of The Battery
Leo
“ C hanges?” I asked.
Maribel, the hospice nurse, stood opposite me, the kitchen island between us. She pressed one of those sad smiles on her face. She’d done this before. Countless times, no doubt. Did it ever get easier?
“Yes. The increase in fatigue. I’m noticing less intake of food.” She leaned into the island. “He’s still strong, Leo, okay? But you should know that we’re likely entering the last weeks.”
“How many?” I answered without taking in any information she just shared but that.
“It’s hard to be exact with these things. Right now it could be a few weeks, but I’ve seen conditions change precipitously before and it could be only a week. You still have more time with your uncle. I just want to start setting expectations with you. Okay?”
“Yeah. Will you be coming by more often?”
She nodded. “Probably. The app should notify you of the new schedule and then any ad hoc needs. Have there been any changes in your schedule? I’m not sure how that works…” She had her phone out and laid on the counter and she swiped through menu options.
“It’s pretty solid up until postseason.”
She had her head down and selected scheduling options for the app her company used. “Okay. And when is that?”
I faltered. A catch in my throat. I blinked and looked sideways, then cleared my throat. Maribel looked up and, politely, didn’t push, waiting for me to find my bearings.
“October,” I said, though my voice cracked. Again, I cleared my throat and started rearranging the apples, oranges, and avocados sitting in a white ceramic bowl at the center of the island.
“I’ll increase visitation,” she said delicately without missing a beat. “I’ll extend through the end of the year. How does that sound? It’s always a good idea to make sure there’s a plan.”
“Yeah,” I said absently. That lump in my throat swelled.
She finished fixing the schedule in her phone, clicked it off, and dropped it into her handbag. “Leo,” she said softly. “Would you like me to stay for a little bit?”
I had my eyes on the fruit. The avocados were a bold shade of unripe green. “No. Thank you.”
Maribel walked around the island and laid her hand atop mine. Her eyes were so kind.
“Take care of yourself. I’ll be back tomorrow.”
With that, she was out the door. I stayed rooted in the kitchen.
I had been so focused on making postseason with Cody that I had lost sight of why .
Hearing Maribel provide the likelihood of my uncle not making it shattered a fantasy that should have never existed.
Oh, I fully planned on winning for him, come what may, but a part of me had been expecting to see Uncle Andy there with me.
Now…
He’d be my fourth spirit, joining my mother, father, and Archie.
I squeezed my eyes shut, willing my soul to reach out and embrace them.
I needed to feel my family with me in that moment.
My legs wobbled and I braced my forearms against the countertop to stay upright.
I refused to let a sob escape my mouth, but my very soul howled.
I knew Uncle Andy was on his way to a better place. I just thought he’d be around long enough to see me win that pennant.
I felt apologetic, as if I had my hand on the dial that controlled how much time Uncle Andy had left.
“ Mom ,” I whispered, barely loud enough to even hear myself. “Dad…” I needed to feel them. “Archie.”
My fucking twin. He should have been here with me. Now, only an absence. Nothing could ever fill that void.
I pounded my fist against the counter until it hurt. The pain snapped me back to what I could control. I stood erect, stupidly proud of not crying.
I finally left the kitchen and walked into his room.
He had been sitting up with a tablet while playing a game.
Freecell, his favorite. Gaunt, bags under the eyes.
A family portrait sat on his nightstand, one of his parents and my father, another of my mother, father, brother, and myself taken on our ski trip before the accident that took them from me.
“Hey, kiddo,” my uncle said as I entered. He looked up from his game of Freecell. “Whoa. Hey now. I’m not dead yet , kiddo.”
Those words wanted to break me. I wanted to break. But I held on. “How you holdin’ up, old man?”
“Oh, just peachy,” he said and turned off his tablet. “Feeling up for a walk?”
I looked out the window. It was a beautiful July morning. The temperature hadn’t jumped too high yet, though I didn’t think he’d mind that. “Absolutely. Let’s go.”
“Good. Now, I ain’t up for talkin’ too much, so you’re gonna have to do that.”
“Oh yeah? Because I’m such a chatty guy, right?”
I put his tablet on the nightstand and got the walker ready. He said, “You know, you and your brother used to gab all night. Your dad used to laugh about it. Said you guys never shut up.”
“Archie always started it,” I said as I pulled aside his covers and helped slide his feet into indoor/outdoor slippers. “He could get a wall to talk back to him, I swear.” Uncle Andy stood and got a good grip on the handles of the walker.
“Yeah, he got that from your mother.” He stretched and jiggled his legs. “Okay, kiddo, let’s go.” As I led him toward the door, he said, “So. Tell me about this teammate Maribel says is over all the time…”
*
The knuckleball punched my glove with a satisfying smack .
I dropped the ball, adjusted my stance, and moved closer to the pretend plate we had designated by a square of nine baseballs.
Cody already had another ball in his hand and threw a near exact replica of the first. The ball sailed and struck the same spot with another rewarding smack .
Cody’s relentless and repeatedly accurate throwing kept my focus sharpened. Too many times I let my mind wander as I thought about life without my uncle. I’d be the only family member left. The solo Papadopoulos who carried a legacy that should have been shared with scores of relatives.
Just me , I thought. Just me.
Cody got in another perfect throw. I dropped the ball, held up my hand for him to halt. He was already dipping his hand into the bucket beside him. I stood and loosened up my knees. “How’s the arm?”
“Good,” he shouted back at me.
I spotted the lie immediately. “Let’s take a break.”
“Aw, c’mon, Leo, I was just starting to hit my stride.”
I pulled off my mitt and walked toward him. “We can only do these in short bursts. The whole point is to end with consistency, not failure.”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m saying. I got at least another ten minutes in me. I mean, I could probably shorten to five… hey,” Cody said, then tapped my chest with his glove. “What’s up? Everything okay? Your brooding is deeper than usual.”
“I don’t want you to overdo it,” I said, blatantly ignoring his question regarding my well-being. “I’m calling it. You should be resting today anyway. Why don’t you go drop the shoulder in the hot tub for a while.”
He had grown adept at rolling with my avoidance tactics. If he was disappointed I wouldn’t budge, it didn’t show. Ever since his breakthrough, a perpetual happiness emanated from the man. I would call it infectious if I allowed myself to care.
“Yessir,” he said and lifted the bucket of balls. “Still hush-hush on this thing between us, right?”
“ What? ” I barked as a stab of fear hit me.
“The knuckleball practice, Leo. Jeez.”
“Yes. The pitching staff would have a conniption if they knew.”
Cody jiggled the bucket of balls. “Perfect. Hey, what are you up to tonight?”
“Resting up. Harrisburg is gonna be tough.”
“Wanna come over tonight?” I froze at the question. To date, everything had been by my invitation. My discretion. “Freddie is outta town at his girlfriend’s. He’s got some equipment in the backyard. We can maybe practice a little more? Thought it’d be nice to switch things up.”
I felt a trap. Not sure why, but something seemed off about this invitation. I didn’t like that he took the initiative here. “I dunno,” I said.
“C’mon,” he insisted. “It’ll be good. I mean, no pool or hot tub. So I understand why…”
Silence. In the distance, the crack of a batter at practice. We both turned our heads to track a ball to left field instead of where we were, at center.
“Okay. What time?”
“Five-ish?”
“Okay. See you then.”
The smile he gave me. It should have placated any fear. Instead, it worried me. What was he planning?