Page 92 of The Awakening

“My skin. The shade is better, don’t you think?”

I shake my head. Junichi is on this path. In my head, I call it “The Path of Mild Starvation.” I know that what he’s doing is very important to him, but he looks like hell. He has for the past five months. But he definitely looks better than he did in December. The first several weeks were especially rough on him.

“I’m not sure, Jun. It still seems a bit brownish-gray to me.”

Junichi sits up from the camera, pouting. “Really? I swore I looked better today.”

“Maybe I can’t see well through the camera? It could be the lighting.”

He folds his arms, grinning. He’s sitting in his living room on that posh, velvety sunflower sofa. I miss that sofa. I have both very good and not great memories of that sofa.

“You’re probably right,” he says. “Ifeelgood though. This week has been the best yet. It’s been five months as of… yesterday?”

“Congratulations, Jun.”

“Muchas gracias. And thank you for picking up and talking to me.”

“I’m not busy at the moment.”

“Good timing, then. I heard that you set up Nino’s appointment to have his bio sample retrieved. He’s freaking out about it a little.”

This makes me chuckle. “Why?”

Junichi sits back against the couch, still smiling at me. “Because it feels more tangible to him now. They’reactuallygoing to have a kid in a few months. Before, it was all hypothetical. Plus, Nino said he feels pressure because Haruka has been adamant about him being the one to give the sample.”

I grin because it’s true. But I don’t say anything. Patient privacy and all that.

“I have this feeling that he really wants the kid to look like Nino,” Junichi goes on. “It’s just funny to me. Haruka is so blasé about things—until the moment that he isnot.”

I’m laughing because I have also noticed this. “He was razor sharp whenever we played shogi together. You’d think he wouldn’t care about winning, but he definitely does.”

We rest in the moment, grinning at each other, but only briefly before I look away to fumble with something. Distracting myself from the warm feeling sweeping through my body.

“You’re in the attic today. Reading more of your mom’s journals?”

“Yeah, and I was. But I’m just looking at some of her things now. Going through boxes.”

“Have you spoken to your father about his heritage?” Junichi asks. “You said you were going to.”

“I-I did. He… he told me that his great-grandfather was third-generation.”

Junichi shakes his head. “Wow. You had it on both sides all along—”

“But I didn’t know! My father doesn’t feed and he never told meanyof this.”

“I know, Jae.” Junichi’s gaze softens. “You don’t need to be defensive. I know. It’s alright.”

Jun never accuses me of lying, but I just… I get so defensive. My nature is getting all riled up, my skin feels hot and I’m honestly ready to hang up on him.

“I’m excited to see you next week,” Junichi says. “Are you looking forward to the wedding?”

When I swallow, it goes down thick, like there’s cotton in my throat. “Sure,” I lie. I can’t imagine what this is going to be like: how my body will react to him in person now that my senses are even sharper. It’s already this intense on a silly video call.

“Everyone wants to see you,” Junichi says. “Even Sydney told me he misses you and is looking forward to catching up. I miss you, too.”

Now it feels like there’s electricity running all across my skin—up my arms to my head and shoulders, down my torso and spine. It’s so intense and distracting, but I ignore it and nod. “I’m looking forward to seeing everyone. Is Sydney coming to the wedding?”

Junichi smiles. “He is. What are you doing this weekend? Your flight is on Monday?”