Page 51 of The Awakening

Silence. I’m waiting for him to tell me he’s kidding. Like he’s having a laugh with me, but I don’t think it’s funny. He doesn’t say anything. I’m starting to feel legless, so I drop back down into the chair. We’re both quiet for a long moment. Eventually, I look at him, serious.

“It didn’t taste like blood.” That’s all I’ve got. In my defense, your honor, it didn’ttastelike blood. I haven’t had blood ever (not even my own—never been scratched or hurt), but I hear it tastes coppery and salty, like a penny. I licked a penny once because I was curious. I cleaned it first. Maybe I shouldn’t have? Perhaps the filth is an essential part of the organic experience.

“What did it taste like?” Junichi asks.

“Like…” I’ve never said it aloud, so I consider. “Exactly like how you smell—a forest, but a little sweet. Clean.”

Junichi smirks. “That’s because you’re a fucking vampire.”

“How is that productive?”

“Thank you for the compliment. Ranked vampires have very intuitive senses, which include our ability to uniquely perceive and smell other vampires’ blood. It’s nice that I register as something pleasant to you.”

I shake my head, disbelieving. I don’t say it, but I’ve given his smell a lot of thought. Just before I turned thirteen, we relocated from London to a rural area near Bristol. It was magical compared to the grit and noise of the city, and the woods were my new playground season after season. The cottage where we lived is just off a clearing. The area is lush and serene, full of flowers, sunlight, trees and life in the springtime. In winter, it’s perfectly crisp and fresh, like you can smell the glittery snow piles blanketing the landscape. Preserving them.

That is Junichi’s scent—it reminds me of home. When home was cozy and secure. Before Mum died and it became empty and lonely.

“How about Nino and Haruka?” Junichi asks. “What do they smell like?”

I shrug. “Very nice. Not unpleasant at all.”

“Nothing specific?”

“Not really.”

“Sora?”

“Same.”

“What about Hisaki?” he asks. “Someone ranked but unbonded.”

I consider for a moment. “Like black licorice.” Ireallydislike black licorice. Even the smell of it turns my stomach. I don’t say any of that, though, because it feels quite rude.

Junichi offers another of his playful smirks. “You make me nervous, Jae.”

“Oh,you’renervous?” I frown, annoyed. “I’ve been human my entire life and you’re casually declaring I’m a vampire like dinner’s ready. Butyou’renervous?”

“This isn’t about me—”

“Right.”

“Iknow. But I’m nervous about this timing, and about the two of us.”

I sit back and scoff, because I honestly don’t know what else to do, but I’m put off. The two of us, what? He makes this sound ominous, which isnothelpful.

“Do you want to feed?”

I stare down at the table and into my empty soup bowl, frowning. “No.”

“You need to. Your skin looked good in the bathroom, but now it’s just a little off color again and your eyes aren’t right. You should feed intentionally since you’re awake.”

“No thank you.”

He laughs. “God.You still don’t believe me. You’re really sitting here with no desire to feed from me? There’s nothing compelling you right now?”

I lift my head and meet his gaze. I always want him. Ever since the first night he came to my flat, and even though I was being an idiot, I wanted him. It’s been almost a week since we last made love. Maybe I want his weight on top of me? Maybe I just need a good fuck, followed by a human doctor to examine me and tell me what’s actually going on.

Or maybe… whatever happened to my mother is happening to me?