Page 43 of The Autumn Leaf Bookshop (Everly Hollow #1)

Maybe

Raene

“ H ey,” I say, breathless.

“Hey, yourself.” His voice is warm, and God, it makes me miss him even more. No wonder I can barely think or write. “You sound…quiet.”

“I’ve just been thinking. I mean, you’ve had quite the eventful morning and then—”

There’s a pause. A silence that hums between the phones like the tether between us is trying to hang on. “About us,” I add.

“Okay,” he says slowly. “What about us?”

I grip the edge of my coffee table, nails pressing into the wood. “I didn’t expect this,” I whisper. “Your shop is a mess. I was excited to see you, but now you’re not coming. How is any of this supposed to work?”

He doesn’t say anything, but I hear it. In the quick, sharp inhale he takes.

“I’m sorry, Ash,” I continue, voice breaking on the last word before it all spills out in a rush. “Your shop, your magic, it makes me feel horrible that… ”

Another beat of silence. Heavy. Terrifying.

“What are you saying?” His voice is careful and low, as if he’s bracing for impact for something he doesn’t want to hear.

I squeeze my eyes shut and take a deep breath. I speak before the courage fades and fear silences me. Before it’s too late.

“I’m saying…” My chest rises again on a shaky breath before the damn breaks loose.

“I don’t want you to hate me because I love you, Ash. Like head over hills, fallen into a leaf pile, and fell out of a loop in love with you.” I sob out a laugh. The tears are just an endless river at this point.

Crickets. All I can hear is his breath.

“You—” His voice dips low, and thick. I can hear him swallow hard, “Say it again.”

I can hear the smile in his voice.

My lips curve into a small smile, even though my heart is racing. “I love you.”

A sound of relief and joy comes through the phone as he shouts in excitement.

“Fuck, Raene. You have no idea—” He chokes out a broken laugh. “I wish I were there. I wish I could look at you while you say that.”

“Me too.” It comes out in a hushed breath because if I say it louder, I may cry. “But I don’t want you to hate me. I’m worried. Especially about your magic. What are you going to do?”

What can we even do ?

“I know we were hoping to see each other this week, but we will soon. I promise. I’ll figure something out.

Without you here,” he pauses, releasing a sigh.

“My magic is just as chaotic as I feel with you not here. It has to balance out at some point. I think these first few weeks will just be a little rough, okay?”

“Okay,” I repeat back, resting my head on the couch, closing my eyes to try to process everything that has happened so far today.

“Want to know something?”

“Sure.”

“My birthday is next weekend, the nineteenth. I’ll plan on driving up in the evening the day before. I want to spend that day with you.”

His birthday?

“Are you going to be one hundred and twenty-two years old?” I ask softly.

“ Ohhh ,” he says quietly. “So close, but no.”

I roll my eyes and let out a broken laugh. My heart aches.

“I love you, Raene Hart.”

“I love you too, Sylas Ashvale.”

I toss my phone down on the cushion beside me.

He loves me. He wants me. He misses me.

I love him, but can I give him the love he needs? I mean, look at what my love is doing to him now. Is he in pain? Does it hurt?

I was excited to see him tomorrow. I had so many plans. I know it's not summer weather, but I still wanted to take a walk on the beach. Take him to one of my favorite restaurants and spots around the city, hit up a few bookstores, all the while having our way with each other.

I wanted his weight on top of me. I wanted my fingers to run through his hair, to brush my thumb over the fullness of his lips and the light freckles that dust his cheeks.

I love him.

I pick up my wine to take a sip, pulling my knees to my chest as my eyes gloss over from staring at the TV for too long. This drink would be so much better if it were faerie wine.

I hear a chirp and look down at my phone. Picking it up, I click on the notification. An image pops up of Elora, Jas, and Oriana, smiling brightly, with the twinkling pergola lights in the background. Text messages begin to flow through.

Jas: Wish you were here, Rae!

Elora: We miss you!

Oriana: I’ll drink a glass of wine, and more, for you!

I miss them all. My grandmother, the girls, the town. The air, the faint hum of magic, and how everything feels more alive there.

I miss Ash, too, but what was I thinking? What was the point of all this? What is the point of befriending these amazing women who feel like a sisterhood? What was the point in spending more time with Ash other than planning the fall festival? Is it my fault that his magic is so screwed up?

He has to shut his entire shop down this weekend to clean it. To try to fix something I broke inside of him. His magic isn’t holding, and he seems lost, confused, but he never blamed me .

Maybe he should. If he didn’t fall in love with me, none of this magic mess would be happening. I can’t believe I cried out to him and declared my love to him over the phone, but I had to because what if I never got the chance?

Maybe all of this was a mistake.

Do I want to do this?