Page 32 of The Autumn Leaf Bookshop (Everly Hollow #1)

Crash together

Raene

“ H e told me he loves me, Grandma.” I blurt. Hands in my lap, my eyes wide like a deer in the headlights.

What the hell was I supposed to say to that?

“Well,” she says, highlighting the next word on the crossword puzzle she discovered, “How do you feel about him?” Her eyes scan the page behind the glasses perched on her nose. “You obviously like him. A lot. You two have been spending quite an awful amount of time together lately.”

“I’m sorry, I—” She holds up a hand, interrupting me, setting her book and pen down.

We’ve been watching TV while working on puzzles, chatting off and on.

Grandma can read me like a book. She knows my mannerisms. She knows I am itching to talk to her about something, but I just don’t know how.

I’m afraid to make eye contact. This is why she was quiet.

She knew I wanted to talk to her about something, so she waited.

She throws the line out and waits for me to grab on.

It works every damn time .

I glance down at the Sudoku puzzle I am working on and erase a few of the numbers. I feel guilty at times when I am spending time with Ash. I know I’m an adult and my grandma is independent and loves her life here, but I've been here at her home or there at the bookshop…and often.

He said I love you .

When he was inside of me. Holding me. Worshipping my body in the most sinful damn way.

He said those three little words so many people yearn to hear.

Those three little words that have such an impactful meaning have been simmering in my mind over the past few days.

I was so caught by surprise, I didn’t even know what to say.

Should I have said thank you? Then start chanting yes, yes, yes, because I really loved what he was doing.

I was scared. I am scared . I panicked. I was in total and complete bliss, and when I heard him say what he said, it was as if everything just…stopped.

The world stopped spinning on its axis. The birds stopped chirping. I forgot how to breathe. He told me it is okay that I don’t say it back, but that face. The vulnerability in his eyes, how his face softened with hope that I would say it back. He kissed me instead.

He kissed me on my forehead and lingered there as I held onto his arms, feeling so safe and honestly…

loved. I can feel that from him. I didn’t even know I would cry, but I felt so bad that he felt this way for me.

The first guy who tells me he loves me, and I didn’t say it back.

Does that make me a bad person? What if I’m never ready to say it back ?

The way he looks at me. The way he talks to me. The way he learns something new about me and embraces it with that bright smile on his face. It’s how he respects and accepts me.

I know it is love, but this is so new to me. I’m a fucking romance author who’s never truly experienced it with another soul. I write about it. I want it. I want that happily ever after, too, but I don’t know what I feel for Ash yet.

I don’t know what to do with me leaving so soon. The fall festival starts tomorrow and then…I’m gone. Back to my condo on the beach. Back to being in the city and doing what I love…writing.

“What are you telling me you’re sorry for?” She asks, looking up from her book, placing it in her lap.

“You’re a grown woman, Raene. I can take care of myself. You know I appreciate you being here, but I didn’t expect you to spend every minute of the day here. I wanted you to make friends. I wanted you to enjoy yourself.” She releases a heavy sigh.

“I want you to know that there is more to life than your career. I know how much you love romance and writing. You’ve been a writer since you were a child, but I know how much you looked up to your parents, seeing the love they had together.

I know that you want that, Raene. You know your grandfather and I had a great love before he passed.

Everyone is deserving of real love, even you. ”

The sound of the doorbell rings as soon as I leave the kitchen. I set the bowl of popcorn down on the coffee table, grabbing a few pieces to nibble on because why not.

I opened the door, and I honestly didn’t expect him to be here, and we’re face-to-face.

“Hey,” he says. Taking a step forward, but then he inches back a bit.

“I…I just wanted to see you. I mean, maybe you hate me because you’re sending me one-word responses via text and I haven’t seen you in days.

Raene—what am I supposed to think?” A hand runs through his hair, wearing a dark olive green bomber jacket with a grey tee, jeans, and sneakers, and somehow he looks even more gorgeous than when we were in the bookstore with his pants at his ankles.

Stepping back from the door, I gesture for him to come in. “Come inside.” There’s a chill in the air as the sun dips low, causing the wind to bite.

“Where’s Vera?” He asks, slipping off his shoes and placing them neatly against the wall.

“You know my grandma.” I sigh, making my way to the couch. “She’s healing and wants to enjoy life. Flora picked her up, and they're going to meet some friends for dinner, so it’s just me.”

He nods his head and hesitates before making his way over to the couch and sitting beside me. Turning to him, I tuck a leg underneath me before reaching out, placing a hand on his thigh. He places his hand over mine .

“I don’t hate you,” I say slowly. “I’m sorry I disappeared on you, but I just…I needed some time to think. A lot is changing, Ash. Too much and too fast.”

His thumb gently brushes against my knuckles. “So talk to me then.”

“I’m scared. You told me you loved me, Ash, and I like you. I really, really like you, but I’m leaving soon, and I just thought…I guess I just thought this was just for fun.”

“We’ll go slow.”

Slow?

“Ash.” I scoot closer, my hand now gripping his. “I’m going to be leaving.” I look into his eyes, making sure he understands. “You know this. What can we make slow? Do you want to try having an actual relationship? With me in the city and you here?”

As soon as the words leave my mouth, I immediately feel restless. Too many emotions are starting to pour out of me, and I stand because my body needs to move. I’m beginning to pace like the tiger in a damn zoo exhibit, caged by my uncertainty about this entire situation.

Take it slow?

I can’t even bear to look at his face right now. I don’t want to hurt him. A long-distance relationship…would it work? Could we make it work? Do I even want that?

His arms wrap around my waist, and I jolt from the sudden contact while I am deep in my thoughts.

“Sorry,” he says quietly, already beginning to pull back .

“It’s okay. You’re fine.” I turn around and take his hands in mine. “You just startled me. I was way too deep in my head.”

He steps forward, gentler this time. Carefully taking my chin in his hand, the gesture grounds me, and his eyes are steady, calm, and sure . “We take it slow, Raene. I know you’re leaving.”

His jaw tightens just the tiniest bit, and I notice—only because I’m reading his face so closely as he speaks.

I can’t pull my eyes away from him. “We can spend time together. I can visit you in the city. I know you’ll be back to see your grandmother.

I’d just like to see where this goes, but only if you’re okay with it.

I didn’t mean for this to get awkward, but I’m not taking back what I said. I am in love with you.”

Fuck.

I mean, when he looks at me like that…

“No labels?” I ask.

“No labels. No titles. Only a crown for you, goddess.”

My lips curve into a small smile as I press up on my toes to give him a delicate kiss on the lips. “You’re such a dork…” I tease.

“But I’m your dork, right?” He smiles, pressing his lips against mine again.

I let out a light laugh while wrapping my arms around him, pulling him closer, resting my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

The softness of his shirt glides against my cheek, and my nose gently brushes against the zipper of his jacket. “I do like you, Ash,” I whisper .

More than I expected to. More than I should. But maybe, just maybe, that is okay. Maybe it is okay for us to just take this slow.

One fallen leaf at a time as we enjoy the Fall Festival. Then we can go where the wind takes us.

Goddess.

His lips feel so good on me. The crunch of popcorn invades my ears as he grinds his body on top of me, the act causing my eyes to roll to the back of my head. I am going to cum if he continues to dry-hump me into the cushions.

“Ash…” I moan, but slowly cut it off into a whisper. We need to go upstairs.

We’ve been making out like horny teenagers on the couch in the living room, down the hall from my grandmother’s bedroom. Thankfully, she sleeps with noise-cancelling headphones—nature sounds and the sexy voice of an English Duke, whispering sweet affirmations into her ears.

Fuck. He knows how to make my body respond to him in the best way, because when he moves, I move back, and then the heat and pleasure build quickly, too quickly. He knew what he was doing.

His hand quickly presses over my mouth, catching my moan as he dry humps me into the couch. Shit. I do feel like a horny teen. Maybe a young-adult college romance is in the works .

“Let me take you upstairs,” he growls into my ear, nipping at my earlobe.

His hand is still covering my mouth, as my head nods up and down.

We quietly yet clumsily tiptoe through the popcorn, crushing a few pieces beneath our feet.

I’ll clean it up in the early morning. She’ll just think I’m getting a jump start on the chores I do to help her.

We get to the room, I gently close the door and lean against it, panting. I see him under the glow of my bedside lamp.

God, I love how tall he is, his muscles, that t-shirt was made for him. I press my thighs together, and he notices. He notices everything. Especially when that wicked smirk graces his lips and I know he can tell. He hears my heartbeat. He smells the arousal my body created just for him.

He eyes the plush on the bed. The PSL plush that’s so adorable it’s giving Drink Me. The one he gave me that day we started planning the festival. The enchanted game we played, and he beat me. He laughed, and that smile…fuck that smile was when I realized I had a little crush on the pumpkin king.

“You kept it?” He asks. It’s like he’s breathing harder…faster, as he starts taking steps towards me.

“Yes,” I say softly, I’m breathless at how he’s walking over to me. “A little something extra to remember you by.”

“I like that answer,” he says, his voice deep, but it plays like a husky melody.

I’m fan-girling.

Next thing I know, I’m meeting him halfway, our mouths crash together like two ships in the dark.

And I’m a fucking wreck.