Page 30 of The Arrangement (Executive Suite Secrets #3)

LIAM ROSE

“Did you have to pick the coldest night?” I asked as we hurried from the ticket counter to the entrance gate of the zoo.

“It’s not even close to the coldest night. It’s still above freezing, you baby,” Rome teased.

He was right. It wasn’t that bad, and I had layered prior to leaving the house, so it would take a while for the cold to sink in.

Honestly, I’d been a little surprised when Rome had suggested this outing and persistently pointed out that this was not a date. Only two friends hanging out.

Of course, since the morning following the sleepover, we hadn’t talked much.

I’d gotten busy with work at the museum and the university.

Not to mention, my remaining waking moments were spent in near-constant contemplation over what we’d shared physically.

It had helped that I’d had Friendsgiving with Emily and her girlfriend.

They’d had no problem turning our holiday into a wine-and-bull session.

They’d shared their personal experiences and had answered my questions as best as they could.

Guilt twisted in my stomach that I hadn’t shared that conversation with Rome, but talking with Rome came with an added complication.

Feelings . I was starting to suspect that what I felt for Rome was more than friendship.

And just maybe, he was the same. Both of us had vested interests in what happened next, so maybe he wasn’t the most unbiased person to talk with.

Leaning in close to him as we entered the zoo, I said in a low voice, “You know, I was expecting you to suggest we meet up somewhere more private.”

Rome’s head whipped around, his wide eyes catching the twinkling white lights that filled the trees. Even in a knit hat and a scarf, he looked too handsome for words.

Yeah, I was more comfortable admitting that now. I no longer needed all the caveats and asterisks to reassure myself of my masculinity and heterosexuality. Rome Ashbridge was a handsome man. He was fucking sexy. Especially when he smiled.

“Really?”

I grunted. “I didn’t think you’d had enough on Saturday. That you’d want to be intimate again.”

Rome gasped and choked on a rough laugh. “Yeah, well…maybe, sure, but we haven’t gotten the chance to talk much since the weekend. As much as I’d love to have some fun, it’s more important to me that you’re comfortable. No pressure, you know?”

If I fell in love with Rome, would it shock anyone? Seriously? I couldn’t remember knowing anyone as thoughtful as Rome. He might be prone to craziness and being recklessly impulsive, but he also tried to make sure that no one got hurt.

“How have you been?” Rome asked.

“I’ve been… whoa! This is insane!” We’d started walking among the other zoo patrons, and my eyes lifted to the spectacular display of holiday lights that stretched over everything.

It was a blanket of warm, white stars that had come to Earth so that we could nearly touch them.

I’d heard all the advertisements for the past few weeks for the Festival of Lights celebration, but I didn’t feel like it had adequately prepared me.

Besides the usual lights on the trees and the enormous Christmas tree, I could see colorful displays made to look like the zoo’s inhabitants farther down the lane.

Rome bumped me, drawing my gaze to him. “Do you like it?”

“I love it. This is gorgeous.”

“You’ve seen nothing yet. The whole place is done up. We can even grab the train that runs through the zoo so you can see more of it. Plus—” He paused dramatically, holding up a gloved finger. “—if you’re good, I’ll treat you to a hot cocoa.”

“Oh, really?”

“And if you’re extremely good, I’ll order it spiked with a shot of Irish whiskey.”

“They do that here?”

He nodded. “Special for the holiday season.”

I snagged Rome’s arm and pulled him deeper into the zoo. “Let’s do this. I want pretty lights, cool animals, and holiday snacks. Not necessarily in that order.”

Rome laughed, and I think we both relaxed a little more.

We were wandering around a lake ringed by the small train tracks and filled with dazzling lights and ducks when I continued our original conversation.

“I’m doing…okay,” I answered honestly. “I still have a lot of questions, and some of them I don’t want answers to because the answer won’t make me feel better.

Things I can’t change about my past. It’s better to focus on the present and future.

Part of me is terrified of my mom finding out, and another part desperately wants to shove it in her face. See if I can give her a heart attack.”

Rome snorted. “It’s not too late to send her a Christmas card of us kissing. Oh! Naked kissing!”

“Fuck, that’s tempting. But no. Talking to her about this doesn’t help. I’d rather figure it out on my own.”

“But you’re not on your own. You’ve got me.”

We turned down a path that led to a large building that held the giraffes in colder weather. The herd was so cute as they ambled about, pulling leaves from baskets high in the air.

“I know. I’ve also talked to Emily.”

“Emily?” he repeated, and I tried hard to ignore the note of jealousy that tinged his voice, but it still got my heart racing.

“Dr. Emily Luo, one of my coworkers. She and her girlfriend have been very supportive and have answered a lot of my questions.”

“Oh.” Jealousy was gone, but now there was a poutiness to his voice that left me wanting to wrap him in my arms.

I leaned closer and whispered in his ear, “Sometimes it’s easier to talk to someone about things when you’ve not been kissing them.”

“Ah. Yeah. Good point.”

We wandered out of the building as it got more crowded with people and continued along the main road that wound past the lake.

“But I’ll admit to you what I didn’t tell her—I briefly considered denial.”

“Liam!”

“I know. I know.” I waved a hand at him, stopping anything else he was going to say.

“It felt easier to stick my head in the sand, but not better. I was getting so damn angry thinking about how I could have always been… attracted to men .” That last part, I might have mumbled.

“But I didn’t know. I shoved that part of me away and ignored it all.

Instead, I could have been living a better, happier life.

I feel like…I missed out on so much all this time… ”

Rome grabbed my hand and squeezed. “There’s still plenty of time to figure shit out and to live your very best life.”

Just as the warmth of his words was sinking into me, he released my hand, still beaming at me. I got it. Space was a good thing. Not pressuring me was a good thing. I needed to figure things out.

But then, why was my heart so adamant about snagging his hand and threading our fingers together as we walked through the zoo? The idea of holding a man’s hand in public should have terrified me. Yet, the thought of holding Rome’s hand felt so right.

The zoo provided an excellent distraction from my wandering thoughts.

The light displays were amazing, and it was fun seeing the animals at night.

Not to mention, we might have eaten and drunk our way around the zoo.

The only thing keeping me from gaining ten pounds on this trip was the fact that the Cincinnati Zoo was built on a pretty impressive hill.

We ate our way down to the new elephant exhibit and trudged up the winding path, working off all the calories and the tiny bit of alcohol I’d indulged in with my hot cocoa.

By the time we were at the entrance, my legs were tired, my cheeks were red, and my stomach was stuffed.

“You’ll have to return in the spring for their blooms exhibit. This place is half zoo and half botanical garden,” Rome explained.

“I’m thinking I should get a season pass so I can use it as a walking trail. That hill we took from the elephants up to the kangaroos was a killer.”

“It gets easier after you’ve walked it a few times. Ready to go?”

I nodded, eager to get to his car and its heated seats.

It was a short drive to my house, but still enough time for my body to warm up after walking for so long in the cold. Christmas was still three weeks off, but several houses glowed with colorful lights and inflatable decorations.

“Checking on you wasn’t my only reason for inviting you out tonight,” Rome admitted, breaking the comfortable silence that had filled the car. “There was something else that I wanted to talk to you about.”

My stomach sank, and the urge to hide became overwhelming. Why did that have to sound so ominous? “Is this the part where you tell me you’re not pansexual but straight and kissing me was some big joke?”

Rome’s head snapped around, and he stared at me, his brow furrowed and his mouth hanging open. “You have a very twisted mind. What the hell?”

“Sorry. You sound bleak.”

“I don’t mean to be bleak, just serious.”

“Oh.”

A car behind us honked, and we looked up at the same time to find that the light had turned green. Rome sped us along, winding through the neighborhood to my town house.

“I wanted to tell you I think…I think I have feelings for you. Not friendship feelings, but more.”

My heart went from frozen to flying in a flash. The knot in my stomach untwisted so fast I thought I was going to be sick. This was great. Maybe. Probably. Yes, it was great. It meant that our feelings were at least moving in the same direction.

“I mean, it’s not like I’m about to drop to one knee and propose to you,” Rome continued. “But if I’d met you at a bar or a coffee shop or something like that and you were gay, I would be asking you out on a date. We’d be doing things to get to know each other.”

“We already know each other.”

Rome frowned and glanced at me before returning his gaze to the road.

“Do we? We knew each other inside and out when we were kids, but there’s twenty years of experiences we don’t know about.

But I want to know. I want to know everything about you—good and bad.

I want to ask about your ex and not feel like I’m invading your privacy.

I want to ask about all the things from your past—dating, college, family, favorite movies.

The works.” He stopped at another red light and made a noise.

“But I’m getting away from the reason I brought this up.

I don’t know whether you’re interested in continuing the physical side of things with me.

If it was me, I’d want to explore in a safe environment.

However, it’s only right that I tell you it won’t be just casual sex for me.

My heart is involved with you. And unless you say otherwise, there would be the understanding that I’m the only guy you’re fooling around with, unless you say that has changed.

Actually, scratch that. I’d want to know if you were fucking a man or a woman. ”

That was a lot to unpack, but none of it was bad. These were all things I wanted as well. Considering how often we were seeing each other and talking, I didn’t think he was seeing anyone else. Not that I’d given it much thought.

“So…you’re not currently dating anyone?”

“Nope.”

“You had a date at the museum symphony performance back in October, right?”

A smirk lifted the right corner of Rome’s mouth, and he drove into my rental complex. “Yeah. We went on one date. I think we figured out pretty quick that it wasn’t what either of us was looking for. Since then, there’s been no one else but you. How about you? Dating?”

I snorted. “Fuck, Rome. You know how awkward I am. I’ve never been good at dating. I wouldn’t be surprised if my wife married me out of pity.”

“That’s not true or funny,” Rome said sharply.

His protective tone and words warmed me on the inside better than the seat warmed my ass. “No, I’m not seeing anyone. I haven’t even tried since I moved to Cincinnati.”

Rome smoothly pulled his car into an open spot near my town house and shifted it into park. He turned in his seat, flashing me a tentative smile. “So, you’re okay with all that?”

A grin spread on my face as I leaned toward him. “I am.” Ignoring the butterflies in my stomach that were evolving into condors, I licked my lips. “I was thinking that you haven’t shown me your place yet.”

It was crazy. We were sitting outside of my town house.

We could so easily go in and resume the fooling around that we’d started on Saturday.

But fooling around at his home felt bigger.

I would be “trapped” there. Escape would be a tiny bit more difficult.

I couldn’t run at the first moment I became nervous.

And he was right. We didn’t know the adult versions of ourselves. I wanted to know everything about him I could.

Well, and maybe by being at Rome’s, I could step out of my life for a little while and exist in his, where being gay and sexy with a man was a normal, everyday thing.

Rome’s eyes widened, and his breath caught in the more adorable way. “You sure?”

I opened my mouth to say that I was, but he stopped me before I could speak.

“You know what? Never mind. You already said it. It’s happening.” He threw the car into reverse, backed out of the spot, and zoomed out of the parking lot with a brief squeal of tires that had me laughing. Rome’s enthusiasm was everything.