Page 14 of The Arrangement

“No biggity, huh?”

“Yes. That’s right. No biggity, boo.” She wiggles her shoulders and makes a kissy face.

I snort so hard it hurts. “No biggity? What’s that mean?”

“You were listening to it the other night.No biggity. No doubt. Boo.”

I try not to laugh, but I can’t help it. I let loose a flurry of giggles.

She settles back in her recliner, grimacing as she gets comfortable. “I really am okay. Just a bit sore.”

“How did it go with Greta?” I ask, knowing Mimi isn’t a huge fan of our nosy neighbor whose grandson sent me the gorgeous flowers I left on my desk.

“She was her typical cheery, lovely self,” Mimi says, rolling her eyes. “We played cards a little while this afternoon, and she told me about how you and Thomas would make a great couple.”

“No.” I shake my head, resolute that Mimi will not find out I occasionally bang Thomas. “I’m not dating. You know that.”

“I agree that you aren’t dating Thomas. You can do better. But I do think you should let me set you up with Sherry’s grandson. We talk about it all the time on Social. You’d make the cutest couple.”

“No blind dates, Meems. We tried that once before, and the guy you hooked me up with wound up puking off my roof at three in the morning. I’m still not sure how he got up there in the first place.”

She laughs. “He was singing love ballads in your honor. How mad can you get?”

“Very! He woke up the whole neighborhood with a terrible rendition of ‘Always.’ He wasn’t exactly a Romeo, but we almost saw his blood when he slipped on his puke and almost fell off the house.”

Her face lights up. “He was cute, you must admit. And he wasspi-cy. I guarantee you would’ve had a more exciting time with him than you did with that last dud you had. What was his name? Harrison?”

Her ability to recall names might be rusty, but her instincts haven’t faded a bit.

If there’s one thing you can’t get past my grandmother, it’s a bad character. She can sniff out an asshole from a block over. I should’ve listened to her when she warned me that Harrison was a bad seed, but in my defense, he did have great shoulders.

When he broke up with me, I told Mimi that I caught him with his physical therapist even though that wasn’t true. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that Harrison made me choose between them. He was tired of me giving so much time to Mimi.

Mimi was right. He was a dud.

She shrugs and affixes her attention back to the television. “I guess Harrison was spicy too. He just got his spice on with the physical therapist, not you.”

My jaw drops. “Mimi.That’s not nice.”

“Honey, what do you expect me to say?” She lifts her slightly bruised chin. “That’s the best damn thing that man ever did for you. What would’ve happened if you hadn’t walked in on them?” She jams a bony finger my way. “You would’ve married him. That’s what you would’ve done. Better know now than regret later.”

“I wouldn’t have married him. We weren’t even seriously dating. And you could be a little softer with your opinions. That delivery was harsh.”

She rests her head against the chair. “How was work, sweetheart?”

“Oh!” I spring off the couch. “Hang on.”

“I’m hanging …”

I return to the entryway and grab a white paper bag from my things.

Greta called me a couple of hours ago and said that Mimi was doing better, but her spirits were a little down after her accident this morning. She tried to have fun with my grandmother and take her mind off things, but she sensed that Mimi’s loss of mobility and independence was starting to get to her.

And it broke my heart.

“Look what I got you,” I say, entering the living room again. I drop the bag on Mimi’s lap and sit on the couch. “Open it.”

She eyes me skeptically. “Are you trying to soften a blow I don’t see coming?”