Page 33 of The Arcane Taste of the Witchwood Boys (The Witchwood Boys #4)

Marlowe

I’m freaking the fuck out.

I’m panicking.

All I really care about is saving Kate, but we’re working on it. Brooks has us headed in the right direction, and I’m fucking confident we’ll get that solved. So I care more about that, but I care about this, too, and I can’t breathe.

This is the reason I dragged Kate down into hell with me. Because I wanted this more than I cared if she suffered. That’s the reality of it. I assaulted her in order to find myself in this exact place.

There’s the sound of a car pulling into the driveway, and I look over to see—

“Christ.” I close my eyes and grit my teeth. We’re standing on my parents’ front porch. I haven’t knocked yet, but Miriam and Dennis have just shown up and are climbing out of their car. It’s nice, too, a Lexus or something.

“Hey there,” Miriam calls out as Dennis wrinkles his nose. I ignore them both, but Tanner mumbles something disparaging that’s clearly meant to be heard. Love it.

I look back at the door, drop my eyes to the handle.

“Whatever you need, I’m here,” Kate whispers, putting her hand on my arm. She’s sweet as hell, and comforting. Soft. I’m goddamn obsessed with her. I sneer at my own cowardice and reach down, grabbing her hand with one of mine, and the door handle with the other.

I press the latch on the underside, worn smooth with time but brand-new when I left. Fuck. I open the door and step into the foyer of a house that hasn’t changed that much over the years.

Twenty years.

It’s been twenty fucking years since I set foot in this home, but it feels like it’s been ten months.

I look over at Kate, wisteria growing from my hat. Thick, twisted branches and bright purple flowers. I push them out of my way to see her better.

My wife stares up at me from under the brim of her too big hat with the sharp teeth. Her smile is concerned, but hopeful. She has a right to see that it was worth it, all of this shit that was dumped on her that she didn’t deserve. I brought her so much trauma that it’s time to show her so much joy.

The cloak of shadows swirls on her shoulders, keeping her wings tucked away so that she doesn’t hit anyone or break anything with appendages that nobody else can see. Her hair is loose around her shoulders, and she reaches up like she might take off her hat.

“No.” I put my hand on her arm. It was my idea to wear the hats here. Brooks offered for us to leave them in the truck, but it’s not realistic that my parents will see me often without the hat. We can take them off in a minute, but I need them to get used to this.

I look up at the sound of footsteps, Tanner and Brooks holding the line behind me. I like the support at my back more than I thought I would. Also, having them there has kept Miriam and Dennis outside and away from a moment I don’t need them to be a part of.

My mom appears first, hands twisted together in front of her. She’s shaking, and clearly, she’s been crying. I’m breathing hard, but I don’t move. It’d be easy to fall into old habits, scoop her up in my arms for a hug, but I can’t do that yet.

“Lo, I’m sorry I had to wait until after we got the tests back.” She reaches up to rub at her eyes, two decades older than when I last saw her, but easily recognizable. Then there’s me, the same age as I was in the photo on the wall to my right. I haven’t grown any older, but I’ve changed a hell of a lot.

Bigger, darker, broken.

My mother has never seen the broken version of me, and I don’t know how well she’ll be able to handle it.

“Come in. They’re all waiting.” She turns and takes off down the hall, like she’s trying to pull herself together as she walks.

“We locked ‘em out,” Tanner says, putting his hand on my shoulder. “Do you want Miriam and Dennis here or should we spell them to fuck off?”

“Let them in,” Kate offers, making the choice for me. She knows that they hurt me and that I’ll never trust them again, but she also knows that they’re my childhood friends. I’m not sure what to do, and she fills that in for me. “Then when Marlowe tells his story, we can watch them struggle to explain how they didn’t help him or even tell others so they could help him instead.”

“I’m glad they didn’t,” I say without meaning to. “Ultimately, it was better that nobody followed me down there. Can I be glad about that and hate them at the same time? Because that’s where I’m at.”

“Of course you can.” Kate rubs her thumb over my hand, and I realize that I’m still holding it. Clinging to it, more like. Blood and gore and combat, I can handle all of that. Emotional shit? It’s still a struggle, but Kate makes that struggle a little easier on me.

“You’re allowed in, but don’t piss me off,” Brook says when he cracks the door, leaving it open for Miriam and Dennis. “Wait five minutes before you follow us.”

Satisfied that he’s handling it, I drag Kate down the hall to the family room.

My dad’s in the corner near a bookshelf, and my sisters are … my sisters …

Three dark-haired women stand in the center of the room, all of them turning as I enter with Kate. We pause together in the doorway, Tanner and Brooks behind us, blocking the hall.

My mom makes her way over to my dad, getting close to him and then turning to face us. He puts his arm around her, and we all just stand there. Dad has the proof he needs now, but he still looks unsure. It’ll be my mom that convinces him. Or Dale and Val, Dennis’ parents. I won’t be able to do it by myself.

Silence. My shadow wings cover the entire ceiling, but nobody notices.

“I have a question,” one of the women says, and I can’t fucking believe what I’m seeing. This is Brielle, my youngest sister. My parents had me in high school, and they struggled. They waited a while before having more kids. Brielle was eleven when I left. She’s a woman now.

“What is it?” I grind out, still scowling. I probably look like I’m on the verge of hurting somebody. None of these people, obviously. Maybe Dennis.

“The day before you disappeared, who painted the words go fuck yourself on our living room wall?” she asks, and I just stare at her. I scoff. I flick my tongue against a slightly pointed canine and scowl some more. Kate reaches up to poke a finger against the corner of my mouth, and the anger breaks. I almost smile.

“I see. Instead of a DNA test, you’ll ask me a secret question and see if I can answer right?” I take my hat off and set it aside on the pool table. Kate takes hers off, too, and I collect it, stacking it on top of my own. I tousle my hair, and my mom makes a strange sound. “First off, it wasn’t the living room wall. It was on the outside of the garage door.” I look my sister right in the eye. “Also, it specifically said go fuck yourself, Marlowe . I was supposed to take you out for the day, and I cancelled at the last minute. You were pissed. I get it.”

There’s another disbelieving hiccup from the hallway behind us. Probably Miriam. But fuck her. I only care what my sisters think. Brielle considers my answer for a minute before exchanging looks with the other girls. They were thirteen and fifteen when I left. Now, both of them have kids, and here I am, a brother they barely remember.

I could be a good uncle though, couldn’t I? And when Kate gets pregnant, an even better dad.

“Lo.” Brielle’s eyes are dripping.

My mom falls to her knees, so I go to her. I hold out a hand and she looks up at me with an expression of true terror, like she’s afraid that this reunion won’t go right.

“I’m back,” I explain, as calmly as I can. My emotions are wild right now. “But I came back a little different.”

That’s a warning.

She takes my hand anyway and lets me pull her to her feet.

My mom puts her palms on either side of my face and looks deep into my eyes. I let her look all she wants. I have nothing to hide. She might hate me later, but I’m going to tell her everything. Fucking everything. Even what I did to Kate.

“Where have you been?” my mom asks, her voice muted in the uneasy quiet of the room. “What happened to you?”

It feels sacrilegious to say it, like I’m tainting this place with its essence. But I promised I would tell them the truth, so that’s what I’m going to do. Kate moves up to stand beside me, taking my hand again and curling our fingers together.

“The Witchwoods,” I answer in a reverent hush. The candles in the corner of the room snuff out, and the electricity flickers. Behind my wife, there’s the shadow of an owl. “I spoke, and the forest owned me.”

More strange silence.

“I don’t care where you were,” Sloane says. She’s the oldest of the three. Always a bossy brat. Now, here she is with a decade of extra life experience under her belt that I don’t have. “Or what you were doing. I only care that you came back.”

The other one, Reese, the sister who was attached to my hip in high school, says nothing. She’s crying, even if she won’t look at me. My mom is crying, too. Dad stays where he is, standoffish and reserved. The atmosphere is eager, but awkward. Earnest, but shy. It’ll take us some time to rebuild our relationships.

If I didn’t have a coven, this would be a lot harder to get through. I feel okay though.

I’m not angry.

Not with Tanner. Not with Brooks. Not even with the ‘Waverleys’ who stole my last name.

For the first time in such a long goddamn time, I’m not angry at all.

Blood drips onto my lips and I lick it off. Fucking nosebleeds.

“Let’s open the wine,” I suggest, taking the bottle from Kate’s hand and turning toward the dining room before anyone else can speak. “Might make this easier for you all to take in.”

“I want to see your childhood bedroom,” Kate whispers to me, and I get goose bumps. I tighten my hand against hers, digging my wedding ring into our fingers. Behind us, there are shadow antlers and double tails. If I let Kate uncover my history and my memories, I have to show Brooks and Tanner, too.

I’m glad they’re here with us. I hated them in the beginning, but I certainly don’t hate them now. Hate was not the thing that kept me going when all the lights went out, and the world was dark.

“I’ll take you guys up there,” I promise, still watching that bird-like shadow on the wall. “But it’s probably an exercise room or an office by now.”

As I tug Kate close and kiss her, there’s an edging, a slow but aggressive push toward fear. Like maybe she could bite my tongue off or tear my throat out, and I couldn’t stop her.

Like maybe our coven doesn’t have a handle on this curse the way we think we do.

I can’t let myself or Brooks or Tanner get too arrogant. I can’t let Kate get too fatalistic.

Fate, it’s not a predetermined path.

It’s listening to instinct.

It’s shining light into every forgotten corner.

I open our front door and step back to let Kate inside. Tanner or Brooks can lock up. The dog greets us with a tail wag, and the cat is indifferent. The crow watches from six purple eyes, but doesn’t leave her perch on the top of the grandfather clock.

“I had a nice time tonight,” Kate says primly, as if she enjoyed six horrible hours of awkward storytelling and rampant disbelief. It took two decades for me to lose the relationship with my family, and it’ll take a lot more than a single evening to warm it back up. I’m under no delusions about that.

I slam my forearm on the wall above Kate’s head, surprising her. Arousing her, too. Big pupils. Hard nipples. An eager heat that I can fucking smell. This woman calls us thirst traps? What the hell is she then? Not a shy little painter with a low body count, that’s for damn sure.

“What the hell, Marlowe?” she blurts, but I was watching her all night. It’s obvious.

“You almost ate Miriam’s face off, which is fine by me. But not in a jealous sort of way. In a Hag Wytch sort of way.” I flick her between the eyes, and she bats at me like we’re in high school. I still have that weird picture of her tucked into my pocket, the one I stole from Georgia. I like looking at it before I fall asleep.

“Miriam was gazing at you all night, like she made a mistake. Picked the wrong guy or something.” Kate grips onto the front of my shirt, tickling her fingers across my abs underneath. Getting me stiff inside my jeans. “But only because you’re hot. She doesn’t appreciate you as a person. Dennis, either. I liked his parents though.”

I snort.

“Sure, Dale and Val are a hoot. Didn’t expect them to show up.” I should’ve though. I should’ve known my family’s entire social circle would appear on our doorstep with candles, a vigil for the missing man who came back. I was loved. Am still loved. I know that. Now, I need Kate to feel it, like she has backup. Life is better with backup. “But who cares about that? I didn’t think you were going to make it through the night, Kate. You’re scaring me.”

“I’m scaring myself,” she whispers back, still clutching onto my shirt. Tanner moves up to lean against the wall on Kate’s left. Brooks is on her right. All of our shadows are crowded around and peering, darkening the already dark foyer. The cat’s glowing eyes watch us through the gloom, and there’s a sense of waiting that I can’t quite shake off. “I can’t stop the ache. Can’t satisfy the hunger. Until the time comes, can you guys … be gentle with me? I love all our kinky stuff, but I want something else tonight.”

My throat is tight. My eyes are hot. I know that I’m broken, but somehow Kate makes me feel whole. I saw her bright light in those woods and I captured it for myself, crushed that firefly in my hands and held it there. I owe her the world.

“Yeah?” I ask, my voice embarrassingly soft. It’s a voice I rarely used on anyone in the past. A voice I thought I’d lost to the harsh rasp of those godforsaken woods. Here it is somehow, on a night with very little moon and so many unknowns. “What do you need, Kate? I’ll give it to you. I was serious when I said that you can have anything you want from me. Everything. I was more than willing to give up my life for you.” I lick my lips and gesture with a nod of my chin at the rest of our coven. “Them, too.”

“That’s not what I want.” Her words are husky. Her hat is frisky. It bites onto the fresh patch at the front of my brim, and I don’t even care if it bites it off a second time because I loved watching Kate sit in her grandmother’s rocking chair while clumsily sewing it back on. “Thanks for not being completely honest with your family tonight. If they found out I was a people-eating owl god, they might not have accepted me as your wife.”

“Cute. But don’t you worry about that. They’ll forget all about it once we give them a grandchild.” I bare my teeth, but my poor attempt at humor only makes Kate’s face fall further.

“You can’t tell us that you want something different, and then not fill in the blanks.” Tanner puts his hand on Kate’s upper arm, fingers gently rubbing the fabric of her cloak. Yeah, that was a hard one to explain to my family, the stupid cloak of shadows.

“I want …” Kate is looking into my eyes, and I’m staring right back. Showing her everything. Letting her see everything. There’s not a single emotion I need or want to hide from her. Finally, I’ve found a person that’s worthy of the sort of devotion I want to give.

“It’s okay to be sad, Kate.” Brooks repeats his words from the day of the photo shoot, reaching out to take her hat off. He carefully hangs it on the hall tree and then does the same with his own. With mine. With Tanner’s.

“I’m not sad. I just …” Kate’s breath catches as I squeeze my right hand on the small of her waist, my rune-painted fingers indenting the fabric of her soft sweater. Despite the cloak, she tried to dress up for tonight. Put on makeup. Brushed her dual-colored hair until it was smooth and shiny. None of that was necessary, but the effort was appreciated. Kate’s going to fit in well with my family. “I want you to make love to me tonight.”

That request, slipping past her full, soft lips, it’s a killer.

“Did you even need to ask?” I whisper, taking her hand in mine. My shadow does the same, an unholy escort to guide us up the stairs to our bedroom.

“If I don’t ask, I might end up in a game of orgy origami, folding myself into fantastic shapes to fit all three of you. Don’t get me wrong: I love those games. But tonight … after meeting your family and everything …”

“Yeah,” I say, and my voice cracks a little. “Yeah, Katelynn. We’ll make love to you. It’s not hard, you know?”

I take her into our room, and Tanner and Brooks are there to help me undress her. We lay her on our bed, naked in the waning moonlight. I can’t wait to be raw and vulnerable with Kate in private, because there is no privacy. There’s coven, and I’m okay with showing these three people everything I am. Everything that I have.

A holy night with unholy rings and recurring nightmares that are so much easier to get through because we have each other.

Fuck.

I am a lover boy.

Proud of it, too.