It was nearly 11 pm when we made it to the border of Danny’s territory. Naomi had called Whitney earlier and told her that Saul would meet us on the edge of town to get Peter, but Danny’s mate must have heard how bone-tired Whitney was because she called back not long after and asked to be put on speakerphone.
“I’m speaking for Danny—Julian’s old apartment is just as he left it, and you and Julian are being given a one-time allowance to sleep there for the night before leaving in the morning. Consider it repayment for saving Peter, he says. But if you aren’t gone by morning, the Red Canines will force you out as violently as necessary.” I could hear the disdain in Naomi’s voice when she spoke the last sentence, but she didn’t hesitate to relay her mate’s words.
“We’ve got Laura—"
“If Laura doesn’t want to share the apartment with you two, we have a card on file at the Holiday Inn a mile down the road.”
Whitney bit her lower lip, glancing at me, “Julian?”
Naomi’s words had started a storm inside of me. My old apartment. Longing hit me like a truck. The place where I’d first lived independently, the symbol of my place as a valued member of the pack. I hadn’t been back since I’d left to form the Reckless Stalkers.
It was stupid to let myself get hung up on it, but the fact that I’d been given permission to come back, even just for tonight, made me feel like a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. “Yeah,” I managed, my voice sounding weird to my own ears. “We’ll take it. Thanks, Naomi.”
There was a long pause on the other end of the line. I could almost hear the wheels turning in Naomi’s head, but she didn’t ask any questions, thankfully. “No problem. There’s a spare key under the flower pot at the back of the building. Let yourselves in and be gone by 7 am tomorrow.” She paused, then added, “Danny told me to tell you to stay away from our house, or he’ll tear your head off.”
I laughed. “Tell Danny he’s welcome to try.” I heard a growl on the other end of the line, and it was a fight to keep the smirk off my face. “I know he means well, though, and we won’t go near the house. Promise.”
Naomi sighed, sounding exasperated. “You two are ridiculous,” she huffed, then hung up the phone.
Whitney looked at me, raising an eyebrow. “What was all that about?”
“Nothing. Let’s just go.”
We pulled into the gas station where Saul was already waiting, his arms crossed as he leaned against his old truck. His face was full of animosity for me, and I took a step back when I felt the magic pouring off of him. The human Red Canine witch was a different breed than Faye or even Whitney. No one could touch Faye in terms of raw power, but Saul wasn’t afraid to dip his toes into dark magic when it suited him, and that made him unpredictable.
We’d gotten along fine when I was a member of the pack, but things were much, much different now, and Saul’s loyalty to Danny ran deep.
“Traitor,” he said to me in greeting, pale eyes narrowed before he turned to the girls who were helping Peter out of the SUV. “Whitney, Laura. Thank you for bringing Peter home to us.”
“Of course,” Laura said, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. “No one else would have been able to get to him so fast.”
Saul nodded, his jaw tight. “I’m told I need to drop you off at the hotel, too, Laura, so let’s get a move on. Peter needs to be in bed and I need to examine him for any lingering demonic effects. Let me help you get him into the truck.”
I opened my mouth to say something, but Whitney stepped aside and let Saul take her place before she grabbed my hand and squeezed hard. I shut up.
Saul didn’t acknowledge me again as he and Laura got Peter into the front seat of his truck. Laura slid into the back and Saul closed the door before turning to me. “Danny doesn’t want you in the territory, but you have a place to sleep tonight because you brought Peter home. That’s the only reason.”
I nodded. “I’ll be gone by morning.”
“Good.” He didn’t say anything else, but instead got into the truck and drove off.
I sighed, leaning against the SUV. “Well, that was fun.”
Whitney crossed her arms, leaning against the car next to me. She looked as tired as I felt, and I knew the events of the day had worn her down. It made me want to protect her, even though I knew she didn’t need it.
“Let’s just go to the apartment and get some sleep,” I said, pushing away from the car. “We have to be gone by seven in the morning.”
She sighed, rubbing her eyes with her hands. “Yeah, okay.”
I reached out to touch her arm, but she pulled away from me, climbing into the driver’s side without looking at me. I sighed, then opened the passenger door and got in.
Whitney didn’t say anything the rest of the ride, and we pulled up to the apartment complex ten minutes later. She stopped the car in front of the building and parked it. I wanted to reach out to her, to reassure her, but she was still distant. The kiss earlier had obviously made her uncomfortable.
The building was one of those 1970s ones, a boxy concrete structure with long hallways and narrow doors, but it had been redone shortly before I moved in. My stomach did flip flops at the thought of returning to it, and how much I had missed my space. It made me feel weak, but I couldn’t shake it. Dammit. It just still felt so much like home.
I knew exactly which pot the key would be under. It was just a regular house key, but it was attached to a keychain with a tiny stuffed wolf on it. A joke gift from Danny all those years ago when I’d first moved in. I hadn’t thought of this stupid keychain in months, but now that I was holding it, I couldn’t believe I’d forgotten it.
I really was going to be sick.
“Hey,” Whitney’s voice called out from behind me. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” I said, standing up and turning to her, forcing a smile. “You’re the one who looks like she’s about to pass out.”
Whitney frowned. “I’m not feeling great, but I’m fine.” She looked up at me, her expression curious. “What’s that?”
I shrugged, trying to pretend it didn’t mean anything. “It’s the spare key for the apartment.”
She smiled a little. “Is that why you looked like you were about to cry? Because you got excited about getting a key to your old apartment?”
“Fuck off,” I mumbled, turning away from her. I wanted to be alone and to stop feeling like this. The sooner we got inside and went to sleep, the sooner I would feel better.
Whitney followed me up the stairs to the third floor, where my apartment was. I hadn’t been in months, but I still knew exactly which one it was without hesitation. The numbers had been changed to silver, and the welcome mat was gone, but it was still home. I unlocked the door and let myself inside.
The place was almost exactly as I remembered it. The walls were painted a warm cream color, the furniture was old and battered but clean, and the kitchen was open to the living room. There was a narrow hallway on the far side of the living room that led to the only bedroom and bathroom.
The walls were lined with vintage framed records and concert posters, carefully framed so I didn’t look like a dumbass teenager decorating their bedroom. There was a seldom-used acoustic guitar in the corner, collecting dust like everything else.
I dropped the key onto the counter that separated the kitchen from the living room, then walked over to the window and pulled back the curtain.
There wasn’t much to the balcony, just a couple of pots with long-dead plants and a plastic chair. It had been a selling point for me when I first rented the apartment, but now the dead plants were making me feel like shit.
Whitney followed me out, looking around in shock. “Holy shit.”
“What?” I asked, frowning as I turned away from the window to face her.
She shook her head in disbelief, gesturing at the apartment. “It’s so…normal. Clean. Organized. I expected more chaos.”
“Just because I’m an asshole doesn’t mean I live in a pigsty.”
“No,” Whitney said. “That’s not what I meant. It just looks like you were…happy here, I guess. You always talk like you despise this pack.”
“I do.” I turned back to the window, trying to avoid looking at my former home. “But I was happy here. And that’s why I hate it so much now.”
“Why?”
“Because Danny took all of that from me. He left it all for Naomi, he turned our pack from what we were meant to be into some…pampered family vacation pack.”
“I think he was just being a good Alpha,” Whitney said, leaning against the counter. “The old Red Canines weren’t good for anything but drugs and guns. Now they’re happy, they’ve got mates and families. Isn’t that better?”
“No!” I slammed my hand down on the windowsill, making her jump. I immediately regretted it and shoved both my hands in my pockets. “Sorry. Fuck. Please can we drop it? It’s been a long damn day.”
I heard Whitney sigh behind me. “Fine.” She pushed off of the counter, crossing the room to me. I tried to keep my breathing calm as she came closer, but it was hard to remember why I was so mad at Danny when she was touching me. She put one hand on my chest, her fingers gently curling into the fabric of my shirt, and rested her other hand on my neck. Her palm was warm against my skin.
“I’m sorry you lost your family, Julian,” she said softly. “But we both know that this isn’t what Danny intended. He never wanted to hurt you, and I know you didn’t want to hurt him either.”
She leaned in and pressed her lips to mine before I could say anything else. I groaned, letting my hands rest on her hips as she pushed me up against the windowsill. She pressed her body against mine, kissing me slowly as I wrapped my arms around her. She had to be exhausted from the day, but she kissed me like she couldn’t get enough.
Her scent enveloped me, making me feel dizzy. The scent of her lust made me growl deep in my throat. “Why?” I managed to ask between deep, wet kisses, “You don’t want me.”
Whitney stepped back, albeit reluctantly, and looked around us. “Seeing you react to all of this…it might make me an idiot, but it’s like seeing the real you for the first time. I don’t mind Julian with emotions. I want more.”
“Fuck,” I swore, grabbing her hips and pulling her against me. I was already hard and aching for her, and I knew she could feel it. “I don’t deserve you,” I whispered in her ear before kissing down her neck.
“We’re not talking about that right now,” Whitney replied, grabbing my hands and moving them from her hips to her breasts. “Right now I just need you to fuck me, Julian. Preferably in the shower, after we’ve washed all the blood off.”
I groaned, burying my face in her neck and inhaling deeply. She always smelled so good. I wanted to devour her whole. “Yeah,” I said. “Let’s do that.”
She pulled away from me and grabbed my hand, tugging me toward the bathroom. I followed her eagerly, feeling like I was on fire. I needed her naked right fucking now.
The bathroom was tiny but clean. It had a white tile floor and walls, with a white tiled walk-in shower in the corner. It was definitely not built for two people, but that wasn’t going to stop us.
Whitney started taking off her clothes as soon as the door closed behind me. Her jacket fell to the floor with a wet thud, then she bent over to pull off her boots. She looked up at me, raising an eyebrow. “Are you just going to stand there?”
“Oh,” I said, realizing what she meant. “Yeah.” I hurriedly unbuttoned my shirt, letting it fall to the floor. My jeans followed, then my shoes and socks. When I was completely naked, I straightened and found Whitney staring at me.
She’d already stripped out of the rest of her clothes and was standing in front of me completely bare, her gaze hot as she looked me up and down. “You’re beautiful,” she breathed, reaching out to touch my chest.
I caught her hand, gently pulling her into the shower with me. She stepped over the edge and let me turn her, pinning her against the wall as I turned on the water. It came out cold at first but quickly warmed up until it was steaming hot.
It felt so damn good on my sore muscles, but I didn’t have time to think about that, not when Whitney’s scent was flooding the tiny shower space, making me dizzy.
She shivered beneath my hands, gasping as the water hit her, and I leaned down to kiss her again. The kiss was desperate and messy, all tongue and teeth, and I pressed my thigh between her legs. She moaned against my mouth, arching her hips against me as the water poured down over us.
Whitney broke our kiss, leaning her head back against the tile wall and closing her eyes. “Julian,” she whispered, her voice raw.
I kissed down her neck, pausing to lick over her pulse before I kept going down to her chest. “What do you want, Baby?” I asked, my voice low.
“Make me come,” she begged, grinding against my thigh. “I need it.”
“Yeah,” I replied, sucking a nipple into my mouth and teasing it with my teeth. “Anything you want.”
She groaned, her hands going to my head, nails scratching against my scalp. I hummed against her, nipping at the sensitive skin until she was panting. Her hand slipped down my face, down my chest to where I was already hard and aching. I knew we should have gotten clean first, but the only thing I could think about was getting my dick inside of her.
I growled in frustration, pulling away from her. She whined, but I shook my head and knelt in front of her. I grabbed her hips and pulled her toward me, burying my face between her legs.
She gasped, her hands tangling in my hair. “Julian!” she exclaimed, but her voice was drowned out by the water still pouring down over us. I licked into her, swirling my tongue over her clit in fast circles until she was quivering.
The taste of her was intoxicating. I couldn’t get enough of it, couldn’t stop licking and sucking at her pussy until she was gasping for air above me.
She came hard with a sharp cry, her entire body shaking as I held onto her. When she finally stopped trembling, she slumped against the wall of the shower.
“Fuck,” she breathed. She pushed herself off of the wall and smiled at me. “I need you inside of me.”
I nodded, standing up and grabbing her hips again. “Hold on,” I warned, then lifted her easily. She wrapped her legs around me, her arms going around my neck. I pressed her against the wall, then guided myself into her slowly, inch by inch.
She exhaled, burying her face in my neck as I bottomed out, my cock buried deep inside her wet heat. “God,” she moaned, rolling her hips. “You feel so damn good.”
“So do you,” I said, my voice rough. I pulled out a little, then thrust back in, making her gasp. “Fuck, I love the way you feel around me.” I began to thrust into her harder and faster, and she made the most delicious sounds in response.
Her fingers dug into my shoulders, nails biting into the skin. Her breath was hot on my neck, and I could hear her heart pounding in her chest.
I kept my pace steady, not wanting to hurt her or make it end too soon, but when her moans became whimpers and her hips arched against mine, I knew she was close to unraveling.
Then, she changed everything.
“I want to bite you,” she gasped, her fingers finding the place where my neck met my shoulder. “I want it, Julian.”
I growled, thrusting into her harder. “You sure?” I asked, my voice rough. I wanted Whitney to mark me as hers, I wanted everyone to know she had claimed me.
“Yes, yes. Just promise you won’t make me change who I am or what I do, Julian. Please.”
I could have sworn my heart stopped at those words. “Never,” I promised. “Never.”
Whitney let out a shaking breath, pressing her face into the side of my neck. “Good.”
She kissed my shoulder, tasting my flesh, and then bit down hard.
I cursed as her teeth broke through my skin, her mouth hot on me. It hurt, but it also felt incredible. I swore I could feel the world shift around us as the bond locked into place, going from a thin wire to something strong and golden. Her pleasure rushed down the bond, meeting mine and making us both cry out.
Mate. Whitney was my mate.
When she pulled away from my neck, she licked her lips. Her blue eyes were dark with desire, her cheeks flushed, and she looked beautiful. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. I held her tighter, thrusting up into her pussy in strong, steady strokes.
She kissed me like she was drowning and I was air. “I’m gonna come, Julian. Please don’t stop.”
I growled, thrusting harder into her. “Come for me, Baby,” I said, nipping at her earlobe.
She did, her whole body shuddering as her pussy clenched around my cock, my name falling from her lips. It was enough to throw me over the edge and I exploded inside of her, filling her with my seed in three hard thrusts, stars exploding behind my eyes. We stood like that for a minute, our chests heaving and hearts racing. I pressed my forehead against hers, breathing in deeply through my nose. I couldn’t get enough of her scent, the way it made me feel like I was home.
I pulled out of her slowly, making us both exhale at the loss as I put her back on her feet.
“I suppose we should actually shower now,” Whitney sighed, just before her stomach growled. She looked mortified, but I just laughed, kissing the top of her wet head under the falling water.
“Let’s make it quick, and I’ll feed you afterward.”
***
My promise to feed my mate wasn’t as easy to complete as I first anticipated, but after scrounging through all the expired things in my old kitchen, I found a giant can of tomato sauce and some spaghetti. Deep in the back of the fridge was an unopened bottle of wine, and while we didn’t have any parmesan or garlic bread, it was better than nothing. I was actually excited about cooking for her, but I would never admit that to anyone else.
While I cooked the pasta, Whitney dressed in the borrowed clothes I pulled out of my dresser.
I had just plated our food when she came out dressed in a gray t-shirt of mine and oversized sweatpants. Her hair was damp and pulled back in a messy bun, and she looked so damn sexy that I could barely keep myself from going over to her and bending her over the counter.
I didn’t know what things would be like between us tomorrow, but for tonight, I was soaking in being able to touch her and care for her. If we went back to being enemies in the following days, I’d always have the memories of this and the mate bite on my neck.
Maybe I was going soft, but only for Whitney. And I’d never say it out loud.
“It smells amazing,” Whitney said, taking a seat at the counter. I slid the plate toward her, then grabbed the wine and two glasses from the cabinet.
“Thanks,” I said, trying not to grin. “It’s not gourmet, but it does the job.“
Whitney twirled some pasta on her fork and took a bite, sighing happily. “It’s delicious,” she said, licking sauce off of her bottom lip.
“Glad you like it.”
We ate in silence for a few minutes, and I poured the cheap wine. It tasted…not great. Overly sweet. But it was better than nothing.
Whitney looked at her glass and frowned, a strange look coming over her face before she continued eating. She didn’t touch the wine, but I figured she was just skeptical.
It was all…nice. Romantic, even, besides the fact I barely knew what that meant. My plan was to make her fall for me, and that was going in the right direction, but whatever was happening inside of me wasn’t on the agenda.
When we finished eating, Whitney insisted on doing the dishes, and I let her. She’d made it through half the dishes before she stopped, dropping the pan in the soapy water and running toward the bathroom. I followed, worried, and heard her retching through the door.
“Hey,” I said, knocking on the door. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” she replied, but she sounded miserable. “I’m fine. Go away.”
I frowned, leaning against the door. “Uh, okay. I’ll leave some water by the door. Yell if you need me.”
I waited until I heard her soft reply before heading to the kitchen.
I filled up a glass of water and set it beside the bathroom door, then went to the bedroom and finally collapsed into the bed. Damn, it had been a long day. I lay there in the dark, my mind racing as I tried to process everything that had happened.
What the hell was I doing?
Whitney was my mate. My mate. She wavered between rejecting me and begging me to let her bite me. It made no damn sense.
I groaned, rolling over onto my side. I needed to stop thinking about it, but every time I tried to push it away, it came back stronger than before. I couldn’t get the taste of her out of my mouth or the feel of her skin against mine out of my mind.
I hated it.
No, that was a lie. I hated the fact that I enjoyed it so much and that I wanted to do it again.
I wanted to make love to her over and over until she couldn’t walk straight. I wanted to touch every part of her, kiss her everywhere, worship her body, and make her scream my name. I wanted to give her everything she could possibly want, to be the one that she trusted above all others.
But she didn’t trust me. She wanted me, but trust was something different, and that stung.
After some time I felt Whitney crawl into bed with me, smelling of toothpaste. She sighed heavily. “I think I ate too fast is all, but I’m going to sleep. I’m exhausted.”
I turned on my side, watching her silhouette in the moonlight. “Okay,” I replied, my voice low and husky.
“Goodnight, Julian,” she said, turning away from me.
“Goodnight, Whitney,” I whispered back.