Page 18

DEACON

Winter and her kids have stayed in my mansion for two days. I thought Winter would take them away as soon as Adrian started feeling better, but to my shock and my utter surprise, she stayed, and I’ve tried to keep my distance so she won’t be uncomfortable.

But keeping my distance doesn’t mean I won’t try to change Winter’s mind a little so that she and the kids can stay longer in my mansion. Secretly, I’ve been ordering clothes for Winter and the kids and sneaking them into their closet when they are asleep. I figure that the more I make this place more like their home, the more they’ll never want to leave.

She and the boys have slept in my guest room for two days straight, and I can’t lie. I've been itching to head to their room and sleep with them on the same bed.

I’ve been itching to cross the distance between my room and theirs and give them the affection I couldn’t have showered them with the minute their mother fell pregnant.

Goddess. How could I have been so stupid?

How could I have rejected her, not knowing she was pregnant?

I let her leave to the outside world, knowing she was carrying grief and the torment of my rejection, and then learn she was pregnant, too?

She had no money. So, the jobs she took…she was working while she was pregnant with Adrian and Asher?

Fuck, Winter. I failed you big time. I really failed as a mate and as a father.

The truth of it all hits me like a wrecking ball to the chest, and every time I breathe, my lungs constrict painfully, and the organ in my chest feels like it wants to tear itself out of my fucking chest.

“Uncle Deacon?” Adrian, who has the most expressive dark eyes I’ve ever seen, tugs at my shorts, pulling me from the wave of despair that’s become one with my skin.

I kneel on the marble floor, my hand patting Adrian’s head.

He has the same shade of dark hair, just like mine.

He has the same dark, slightly brown eyes, just like mine.

And his smile? He and his brother look like me. The only reason I’m able to tell them apart is because Adrian expresses everything he feels on his face. Like now, because he’s happy, there’s a grin on his face that matches the light in his eyes. As for Asher, he is the menace of the two, and so he keeps his cards close to his chest. He smiles when it’s convenient for him, and he hides his emotions when he’s suspicious of something.

Aside from that, the same birthmark I have on the back of my neck is the same birthmark on the back of Adrian’s neck. That makes it easier to tell who’s who.

“You ready to try the pool, Adrian?”

I want him to call me Dad.

I know Winter said I’m not their father, but the truth is in their looks, and they are mine. I’ll let my mate believe I’m buying her story of me not being their father for the meantime, even though it tastes like sour limes in my mouth.

Adrian nods. “Mommy says Ash and I can play in the pool with you if we don’t cause any trouble.”

That sounds like something Winter would say.

“We don’t want to upset Mommy, do we?”

Adrian’s head droops as he stares at his little toes wiggling against the floor, “I don’t want Mommy to cry anymore.”

Me too, buddy, and now that I'm here, I don’t want to see any of you suffering.

“I’m here now, Adrian, and I’ll make sure Mommy never cries.”

His eyes gleam with unshed tears, and he looks at me with the whole world under his feet and asks, “Promise?”

“I promise.”

I’m about to ask Adrian more about his Mommy and everything I need to know when Winter walks down the hall in a skimpy bikini that has my mouth watering and my anger nearly cooling off.

Clutching her hand is Ash, who’s jumping up and down excitedly.

I stand up, meeting her halfway and tracing every curve on her with my eyes, starting with the swell of her hips, the way her tits look good in the matching bra she’s got on, the little belly fat on her, and the way her silky hair drops on her shoulders.

I would have given everything to see her tummy full with my kids.

My wolf snarls from within me, agreeing with my statement, and also frustrated by the invisible walls between me, Winter, and now, my kids too.

“Whoa, the pool is big,” Ash gasps, and I chuckle. “Mommy, I’m ready! I’m ready! I want to swim with Uncle Deacon now.”

Winter’s eyes flick to me for less than a second before they turn to Ash, and I’m already missing her eyes.

“Remember what I said, baby?”

“We have to listen to Uncle Deacon when we get into the pool, Mommy,” Adrian supplements.

“If we don’t listen to Uncle Deacon, there’s no pool time again for us,” Ash adds.

Adoration and jealousy leach into my body.

Will they ever look at me the way they look at Winter? Like she is their rock? Like she’s their entire world?

Milking the opportunity to have quality time with all of them, I breach the distance between me and Winter, my lips an inch away from touching hers, my forehead a hair’s breadth away from hers.

“Join us in the pool. Ash and Adrian would be more comfortable if you were in there with us.”

Winter’s scrutinizing eyes narrow in slits, the word “no” burning the tip of her tongue.

“Deacon—.”

“Mommy? Say yes! We can all swim together!” Adrian claps.

I want to hold these kids and kiss their tiny cheeks for being on my side.

“Please, Mommy! We’ll have fun!” Asher shouts.

“Yes, baby. We’ll have so much fun in the pool,” I repeat with a cocky grin.

“I know what you are doing, Deacon.”

There’s a fire in her eyes as she lodges that accusation at me, but then there’s the part where I see she wants to spend time with her boys and, me included, and she’s fighting hard not to let me see that.

“Is it working, baby?”

I want to kiss her right now, so fucking bad it hurts.

I want to bruise those lips and ask a lot of questions about Adrian and Asher, but that’s a story for another day.

I can see Asher looking between me and his mother suspiciously, and just as curious as how his mother usually is, he asks, “Mommy calls us her babies. Does Mommy like you calling her “baby” too?”

The question is directed at me, and boy, does it pour liquid fire in my veins as I answer him, “It’s her favorite nickname. Isn’t that right, Winter?”

“I’m not playing this game with you, Deacon.”

She’s stubborn as hell. I give her that, but I can take her fire and her stubbornness any day.

“Game? What game, baby? The boys and I only want to play with you in the pool. Isn’t that right, boys?”

“Mmhmm,” Adrian claps, tugging at his mother’s hand.

Boy, would I give anything to hold that hand, too.

Asher joins in, and together, both twins beg their mother till her resolve breaks, and she says yes.

***

“I’m scared, Uncle Deacon,” Ash says, his fear written in the way he’s holding my right arm tight while we are inside the pool.

“I’m right here, buddy. I won’t let you fall because you, your brother, and your mommy are the most important people in my life. Ready to move your feet?”

Still holding my arm but trusting me enough even though we haven’t known each other for long, Ash gives me a firm nod.

Right there and right then, my heart gallops, and I swear to all that exists, I will be a better father to my sons than my dad ever was to me.

“Great. I’ll need you to move your legs like the way a duck does. Have you ever seen a duck swim?”

“Mmhmm. In the park where Mommy takes us to swim, I’ve seen lots of ducks there.”

She is a strong woman for raising them all by herself and every bit of information I’m fed today reminds me of that.

With determination, Ash starts flailing his legs in the water while I hold him by the torso to prevent him from sinking, and soon enough, the kid is moving his hands, too.

“Uncle Deacon, I’m doing it! Mommy? Mommy, I’m doing it! Addie, I can do it just like you!”

Adrian, who was the first one I taught to float and swim, cheers for his twin brother from the other end of the pool. Winter’s also cheering, and the smile on her face is distracting.

“Ready to swim to Mommy? I’ll be with you every step of the way so you don’t get scared.”

Ash mumbles an excited, “Okay.”

Ash has barely swum past half the pool when his hand takes mine, the water around us sloshing from that mere action.

“Uncle Deacon, it’s too far,” he complains, and beneath those already wet eyes, I can see he really wants to do it, but fear is getting in the way of that.

“Ash?! Ash, look at me!” Winter hollers from the other end of the pool, and I’m forced to look in her direction, too.

Jumping up and down in the water with Adrian beside her, she screams in Ash’s direction, “You are doing great, baby! You are almost there, so swim to me, Ash. Mommy’s waiting for you.”

The grin on Ash’s face makes me smile. Winter’s compliments somehow get to him because he lets go of my hands and starts using his arms and tiny legs to swim.

“Mommy, am I doing it okay?” Ash asks, droplets of water running down his face.

He’s doing better than okay, but I guess he wants to hear it more from Winter than from me.

“So good, baby. You are doing so well. Swim to me and Addie. You can do it just like Addie did it.”

The way Winter hypes him up only makes me admire her and the way Ash listens to her. Goddess, in what world would I have wanted to miss something like this?

“O-Okay,” Ash mumbles excitedly.

I hold him as he kicks his legs in the water and swims determinedly toward his family. Seeing him swim makes my chest beat with pride.

This is my son, and he did it.

Just like Adrian did, and I’m hella proud of them. When we reach the end of the pool, I grab floaters, securing Adrian and Ash on each so they can float in the pool while I speak with their mother.

I’ve barely turned to talk to Winter when she flings herself in my arms, wrapping her arms around my neck.

Does the action take me by surprise? It does.

Do I take advantage of the hug? I do.

My hands band around her waist, the tip of my fingers sinking into her very wet and very smooth skin.

Chest to chest, her face in the crook of my neck, it takes about two seconds to breathe in her scent before she pulls away.

“Thank you,” she whispers, a vibrant smile on her face. ” You have no idea how long they’ve been dreaming of this.”

Because she is in my arms and because I can, my fingers brush the wet strands of hair from her face, my eyes straying to those very inviting lips.

“You don’t have to thank me for fulfilling my duty, Winter. You never have to do that.”

Her walls are back, and her happiness toward me gets replaced by the coldness she had a few seconds ago. I know she doesn’t want me as their father, but thanking me for doing the bare minimum for my sons is like a punch to the teeth.

I’m not prepared to let her leave the pool, but the buzzing sound of my doorbell cuts our moment short.

One minute, Winter is looking at me like I’m the man of her dreams for teaching our sons to swim, and the next minute, she’s looking at me like I’m the gum stuck to her shoe.

“That must be Luka and Julie. I have to answer the door,” she explains.

Just like that, Winter is out of the pool, and she takes Adrian and Asher with the excuse that Luka and Julie are here to see them.

I don’t say a word as I watch them go, and I’m left in the pool with a scowl on my face.

It’s okay. They are still in my house, and I’ve got plenty of time to win them over.

Drying myself, I walk by the living room, not too close for them to see me but close enough to see Winter with a bathrobe on her, chatting animatedly with Luka and Julie on my couch.

My sons, on the other hand, are doing some sort of dance in front of Luka and Julie, and the scene of it all makes bitterness flay my skin raw.

Why didn’t she tell me she was pregnant while she told her friends about Adrian and Asher?

Did she know she was pregnant before I rejected her?

Goddess, did she hide our sons from me when we met again after seven years because she was afraid, I would reject them, too?

Ten minutes inside my office, and the questions in my mind keep on piling high, and behind the anger, betrayal, and anguish, all I feel is pain.

The ringing phone that vibrates against my desk makes me want to toss it out the window, but I think against it when I see my little sister’s number on the screen.

“You know, leaving your little sister to handle an entire pack is irresponsible of you,” Mia’s voice is laced with sarcasm, her special talent.

“Good afternoon to you too, kid,” I huff.

“No calls, no texts. I was beginning to think you got kidnapped, Deacon. I mean, I know you went to Bracken City to search for Winter, but seriously! I’m dying out here managing the pack without you. I mean, sure, the betas are helping me, but you are the Alpha, and you are needed here. Deacon? Are you even listening to me?”

Managing my pack has been the last thing on my mind since I arrived in Bracken.

“You are an aunt to identical twin boys.”

The silence on the other end of the line is ironically so loud.

“You found Winter? And, um, if I hear you right, you are a father to Winter’s kids?”

There’s surprise in her voice, but then there’s happiness etched in between.

Running a hand through my hair, I answer my little sister, “Yeah. Learned about them two days ago, and they look like me, Mia. Fuck, they have all my features. You can’t even tell Winter’s their mother.”

“Oh, Goddess. Do you have pictures of them? I’d like to see my little nephews. How? Why didn’t Winter reach out and tell you anything?”

“I rejected her. That’s reason enough to make her keep her kids away from me.”

“Deacon, don’t do that. Don’t blame yourself for every wrong thing that Winter went through. Our dad was the real monster. He did this and not you. How are you feeling about your kids?”

“Angry for not meeting them sooner. For not being there when they were being born. But I’m also happy, Mia. I don’t even know what they like or hate, but I love them already. I want to win Winter over and be in Asher’s and Adrian’s lives forever if I can.”

“What about Crystal?” Mia’s voice is almost low, like she senses the mention of Crystal has my anger running on a short fuse. “She’s been waiting for you to come back since you left. She’s also been assuring the pack that once you come back, you’ll make her Luna. She says you promised her that, before you left.”

“I couldn’t care less about Crystal, Mia.”