Page 24 of The Almost Bride

Luna’s body ached as she walked up the road to her grandmother’s house. It was the last place that she wanted to be right now, but she equally couldn’t face another conversation with Mia about Mikey.

She wished she was on a beach somewhere, where the most difficult decision she had to make was whether or not to have another cocktail. Or which train to take in the morning. For a second, she had an itch to get away, like something was pulling her toward the next bus out of town.

It was easier that way. Easier when there was no one to please but herself. And she was smart enough to know that her brain was trying to trick her into running away again. Maybe she would, maybe. But she still wasn’t completely convinced that there wasn’t something worth staying for. At least for now.

She sighed as she got to the front gate. It had been a long day. But it wasn’t physical work that was weighing on her. It was the relentless loop of thoughts that she just couldn’t shut up. Mia. Mikey. The possibility of losing something that she didn’t understand and didn’t even completely know if she wanted.

She paused on the garden path, unwilling to go inside just yet. Instead, she looked up at the fading pink and orange streaks in the sky, trying to untangle the knot in her chest.

The truth of the matter was that it was easier to expect the worst. It was easier to expect Mia to leave and go back to Mikey than it was to let herself hope for more. Hope was dangerous. Hope was vulnerable. And Luna Truman didn’t do vulnerability. Or hope.

She didn’t need a therapist to know why.

Those long months as a child hoping that her mother would get better, hoping that her mum would come back to her and life would go on as normal, had scarred her. Scarred her in ways that she wasn’t sure she’d ever heal from. So much so that she wasn’t sure now that she could survive it if she let herself believe in something real, let herself hope, only to have it ripped away again.

“The past is the past,”

she muttered to herself. Something that usually made her feel a little better. There was no changing what had happened. You could only change what was going to happen. That was how she lived her life.

With a deep breath, she turned around, shoes crunching on the path. But she hesitated before she opened the door, hand already on the knob. The air smelled of cut grass and flowers, of heat and the tarmac of the road. It was a scent so familiar that it was almost grounding.

Finally, she opened the door and stepped quietly into the house.

“Luna?”

called her grandmother as soon as Luna had closed the door behind her.

Luna sighed. The last thing she needed was a conversation with Evelyn. “Nope. Murderers this time, I’m afraid. I hope your affairs are in order,”

she yelled as she kicked off her shoes.

“I’m in here,”

said her grandmother, ignoring Luna’s words. There was a faint clink of china coming from the drawing room.

Luna followed the sounds and found her grandmother sitting in her usual chair. “What, no sherry tonight?”

“Foolish girl, it’s far too early for sherry,”

said her grandmother, holding a teapot. “Tea?”

“I suppose,”

said Luna, collapsing into a chair.

“I was wondering when you’d get home,”

Evelyn said without looking up as she prepared the tea.

Luna exhaled through her nose and closed her eyes. “Long day.”

“Here,”

said her grandmother, forcing Luna to open her eyes to accept the teacup. “I’ve been hearing good things about you.”

Luna choked over her first mouthful of tea. “Good things? Are you sure? Only I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say something like that before.”

“Don’t be facile.”

Her grandmother’s sharp gaze met hers. “People have been saying that this Mia is a good influence.”

Feeling her shoulders tense up, Luna took a breath. Of course, that’s what this was about. “I didn’t realize that I needed influencing,”

she said, coolly.

Evelyn ignored the bite in her tone. She sniffed and sat back in her chair. “I’ve been giving things some thought,”

she said. “You’ve shown up here and started to make a life. I’m not saying I’m thoroughly impressed, but you’ve made a good start. And I’m willing to compromise a little.”

“You? Compromise?”

Luna said.

“I’m willing to give you access to your inheritance now. Providing that you prove you’re willing to settle down. Truly settle down.”

“You mean as long as I don’t take it and run away with it,”

said Luna.

Evelyn sipped at her tea. “I’m giving you an opportunity.”

Luna let out a humorless laugh. “Do you really think that money is going to make me a different person?”

As though access to cash was suddenly going to make her the ideal granddaughter that her grandmother had always wanted.

Her grandmother raised one steady eyebrow. “I think you’ve already started to become a different person.”

Which shut Luna up.

Luna stared at the woman across from her, taking in the steel curls, the patrician nose, the lines around her mouth. She was trying to see through her intentions. Was this really about Mia? A woman that her grandmother hadn’t even met. Did Evelyn really think she was only worth something because of the girl she was falling… No. Not falling. Not those words. Not yet. Because of the girl she cared about.

The idea left her feeling unsteady and unanchored. “I’ll think about it,”

she muttered, pushing off the armchair.

Evelyn didn’t try to stop her as she left the room.

LUNA WOKE FEELING out of sorts the next morning. It was another beautiful day, not a cloud in the sky. And as she walked into town, she thought about her grandmother’s offer. It was a trap, she thought. A trap to make her stay.

But why would her grandmother want her to stay? It wasn’t like her life was easier or better with Luna around. It didn’t seem fair. The money was hers, it shouldn’t come with strings attached. This was just her grandmother trying to control her.

And yet she hadn’t said no, had she?

For a second, she thought that she might understand Mia just a little better. Mia hadn’t said no to Mikey, either.

Maybe she shouldn’t be so angry about that. Not when she now had a decision to make of her own. Not now that she could see that perhaps things weren’t always black and white. Now that she could see that sometimes, things required a little thought.

She could be more forgiving, couldn’t she? Except the word forgiving made her think of Mikey forgiving Mia, and she wasn’t at all sure that Mia had done anything that required much forgiveness.

The scent of lavender and eucalyptus filled the back room of the flower shop when she let herself in. Jan was carefully arranging a bouquet, humming to herself as Luna walked in and dropped her bag.

“Morning,”

Jan said cheerfully. She looked up and grinned, and then frowned. “Oh dear, you look like you got out of the wrong side of bed this morning.”

“Do not,”

Luna retorted. She started chewing on her thumbnail.

Jan sighed and got up. “I’ll put the kettle on,” she said.

She rummaged around in cupboards and five minutes later had tea and a plate of biscuits on the table. Luna sat down and took a biscuit. She hadn’t eaten breakfast. Mostly because she hadn’t wanted to see her grandmother. It was too early to deal with demands for answers.

“So,”

said Jan, pouring tea from the teapot into cups. “Out with it then. What’s going on? Is this about Mia again?”

“No,”

Luna said. “Not everything’s about her.”

“Didn’t say it was,”

said Jan gently. “So if it’s not about her, what is it then? Your grandmother?”

Luna chomped on her biscuit, chewing and swallowing it before answering. “She offered me my inheritance yesterday.”

Jan raised an eyebrow. “That… sounds like a good thing. But with a face like yours right now, I’m assuming that it’s not. So what’s the catch?”

“I’ve got to settle down,”

said Luna.

“Hmmm,”

said Jan. “So it’s not enough just to be sensible anymore?”

“Apparently not,”

Luna said. “Apparently, she’s willing to compromise and give me the money now if I settle down.”

“So she wants you to become someone else, to go against your nature?”

Luna shook her head. “I don’t know. Maybe. I can’t read her. But…”

“But?”

Luna took a breath. “But what if she’s right? I mean, what if I could stay?”

Putting words on it felt odd.

Jan carefully picked up her mug of tea and sipped slowly from it. When she put it down, she was smiling slightly. “Would staying mean being with Mia?”

Luna’s heart gave a funny skip, and she had to swallow. She hadn’t let herself think that far ahead. She hadn’t wanted to hope. “I… I don’t know.”

“You’re thinking about it, though?”

pressed Jan.

“I’m thinking about a lot of things,”

Luna said.

“Mmm.”

“Mmm?”

Luna asked, watching Jan trying to keep a straight face.

“Do any of those things you’re thinking about include telling Mia how you feel?”

Luna stiffened. “What? No. It’s not… it’s not like that.”

Jan’s expression softened. She was definitely smiling now. “Luna… If you’re serious about staying, then maybe it’s time to be serious about her too. You have to let your guard down at some point. If your feelings are big enough that you’re really considering staying here and settling down, then maybe it’s time to put words on those feelings before it’s too late, before she thinks you don’t care enough.”

“Of course I care enough,”

said Luna, sitting upright.

“Then maybe it’s time to tell her that you love her.”

The word hit Luna like a slap. Love. She gulped. That was big. Terrifying even. She wasn’t at all sure that she even knew what love was, not the kind that stayed, not the kind that didn’t end in grief and disappointment.

“I’m not there yet,”

she said, trying to keep her voice even.

But Jan just smiled knowingly. “You might be closer than you think.”

Luna just rolled her eyes and got up to clear away the tea things. But she felt lighter now. Lighter because she was starting to see that the idea of staying might not be a trap. It might just be a possibility. A wonderfully terrifying possibility.