Page 13 of The Accidental Nanny

Pick the children up at 3.15 p.m. and stay with them until I come home at 5 p.m.

Any reading and spelling.

What the actual fuck? Alex wants me to cook and do housework. Not to mention laundry when I’ve never used a washing machine in my life and help with homework. This can’t be happening.

“Are you okay?” Jill asks me.

“Yes. What do the children like to eat?” I ask, wondering how this could be happening to me.

“They would eat takeaways if they could.”

“Pizza.” Eden smiles with delight.

“No, Daddy said only once a month. Chicken, veg, fish. Anything like that.”

“Okay, good.” This was not good, not good at all.

After the kids finish their breakfast, we take them to school without any issues. Then, I return to Alex’s house alone, as Jill is no longer needed. I debate asking her to stay, but as much as I don’t want the job, I need it.

The house seems huge and lonely without anyone in it, and the tasks are too daunting to start. I stare into space for what seems an eternity.

“Fern, she’ll know what to do,” I say aloud to myself. I grab my phone, calling her. She is first on my list, as always.

“You’re up early,” she says, yawning.

Why isn’t she at work? I look at my watch—yes, she should be. I shrug.

“I need help.” It comes out like a whine.

“What do you need?” There’s resignation in Fern’s voice, making me wonder how often I rely on her for things like this.

“I got a job.” I’m met with a deathly silence. “Fern?”

“Sorry, did I hear you right? Gemma Winters got a job?”

“Yes, and I’m screwed. How do I clean?” I plonk myself down on the sofa in the living room.

“What kind of job is this?”

“A housekeeper slash nanny. But he’s so fit, and he’s single.” I fill her in on the missing parts.

She can’t even wait for me to finish before she bursts out laughing at my situation. “I’ll be over in an hour,” she assures me.

While I’m waiting for Fern to arrive, I decide to make a start.

“This is nice,” she says, looking around as she steps through the front door.

“Great. I’ve put a load of washing on.”

“You’ve done what? I said to wait for me. You’ve never used a washing machine in your life.” There’s panic in her eyes.