Page 21 of Tharn’s Hunt (Barbarians of the Dust #2)

I DO NOT WANT TO GIVE HER BACK

THARN

T he third sol begins badly.

Jah-kee wakes late, her movements sluggish and uncoordinated. Her eyes, usually so bright and alert, appear glassy and unfocused. When I offer her water, she drinks mechanically, without the usual eagerness.

"I don't feel so good," she vocalizes, voice hoarse and distant.

I help her to her feet, alarmed by how heavily she leans against me. The heat from her body strikes me like a lance. Too hot. Too much heat for a living being.

She tries to take a step forward and immediately sways, her knees buckling. I catch her before she can fall, lifting her easily into my arms.

She doesn't protest. Doesn't squirm about being carried again. Doesn't vocalize anything at all.

That, more than anything, tells me how serious her condition has become.

I press my palm to her brow again, a low growl of distress escaping me at the burning heat I find there. Her skin is dry now, not leaking those tiny droplets of water as it usually does. Her breathing is unsteady, too.

"'m fine," she mumbles, her eyes struggling to focus on my face. "Jus' need to rest a minute."

I rumble softly, trying to convey reassurance I do not feel. We need to find shade, water, coolness. I need to bring her temperature down before it cooks her fragile human brain.

But we are in the open dust, the next proper shelter at least half a sol's journey ahead. Ain's light will only grow stronger, hotter, as the sol progresses.

"Jus..." she mumbles, her head rolling against my chest. "Need to find Jus..."

Jus…her sister-female, Jus-teen.

“ Yes ,” I project into the mindspace. “ We will find her .”

But her eyes have closed, her body going limp in my arms. She hasn't lost consciousness completely—I can see her eyes moving beneath their lids, her lips occasionally forming silent words—but she's no longer fully present.

Fear claws at my chest. This is beyond my knowledge, beyond my skills as a hunter. A tracker. She needs help that I cannot provide.

She needs her sister-female. She needs Rok.

And they are still at least a sol's journey away.

I adjust my hold on her small form, cradling her against my chest where I can feel each too-rapid beat of her dra-kir. Then I run.

The dust shifts beneath my feet, Ain beats mercilessly upon us both, but I do not slow. My muscles burn with the effort, my lungs working hard to keep pace with my exertion, but these discomforts are nothing compared to the fear driving me forward.

As Ain climbs higher in the sky, Jah-kee's condition worsens. Her breathing grows more labored, her body alternating between terrifying stillness and sudden, violent shivering. The few times her eyes flutter open, they stare past me, seeing things that aren't there.

"S'all burning," she murmurs once, her voice cracked and dry. "Justine... fire everywhere..."

Then, unexpectedly, the mindspace opens between us.

It happens without warning. One moment, I am carrying her burning body across endless sand, the next I am plunged into a whirl of chaotic images and sensations.

A place called Earth. A world of green and blue, so different from the dust. Tall structures reaching toward the sky. Crowds of humans, moving in unfathomable patterns.

Fear—a lurch, the scream of twisting metal, gravity tilting unnaturally. Jah-kee’s terror rips through me: the taste of copper, her sister-female’s crushing grip, and the detached voice of the metal beast: ‘ Payload compromised .’

The images shift faster now. The transport we found in the dust with all the other females. Images of Jus-teen.

And then, abruptly, me .

I see myself through her eyes. Golden skin glowing in the darkness, copper-red hair gleaming in the sunlight, amber eyes watching her with an intensity that startles me.

With the image comes a flood of emotions so powerful they nearly overwhelm me. Fear, yes, but also fascination. Gratitude. Trust .

And something else. Something warm and sweet and sharp all at once. Something that makes my dra-kir pound harder, faster.

Beautiful.

The thought drifts through the mindspace, tinged with wonder.

I see more images of myself—carrying her across the sand, fighting the shadowmaw, tending her wounds with gentle hands. Each memory pulses with that same warmth, growing stronger with each one.

— safe with him .

— never looked at anyone this way before .

— want him to ?—

The last thought cuts off abruptly, leaving behind an impression of desire so powerful it steals my breath. It is not a hunter's desire for prey, or a warrior's desire for victory.

It is something else entirely. Something I have glimpsed only in the way Rok looks at Jus-teen.

The realization rocks me to my core.

Before I can process this revelation, the mindspace shifts again, darkening at the edges. Jah-kee's presence grows fainter, more difficult to sense.

She is slipping away.

" No !" I project into the mindspace, reaching for her with everything I have. " Live, Jah-kee !"

It is weak, but I feel her stir, drawn by my voice even in her delirium.

“Tharn ?”

Her mental voice is faint, confused, but she knows me. Recognizes me across the barrier of unconsciousness.

" I am here ," I project, pouring reassurance, strength, determination into the words. " I will not let you go ."

“ So tired .”

“ Hurts .”

“ Sorry .”

Each thought comes more faintly than the last, her presence in the mindspace flickering like a dying flame.

" No ," I project again, more forcefully. " You will fight. You will live ."

I push my will into the mindspace, wrapping it around her fading presence like a physical shield. I pour every ounce of strength I possess into the connection between us, willing her to take it, to use it, to hold on.

In the physical world, I run faster, my muscles screaming in protest. All my focus is on Jah-kee. On her burning body in my arms, on her fading presence in the mindspace.

I will not lose her. Not now. Not when I have only just begun to understand what she means to me.

Solmarks bleed into solmarks, the landscape changing gradually as we approach the foothills leading to our destination. The mindspace flickers erratically, sometimes clear enough that I can feel Jah-kee's strange dreams, sometimes so faint I fear I've lost her completely.

By the time Ain begins her descent toward the horizon, my legs are numb, my lungs burning with each breath. But I do not slow. Cannot slow. The foothills rise before us, familiar territory at last. We are close. So close.

And then, as I crest a ridge overlooking a small valley, I see them.

Two figures in the distance, one tall and golden like myself, the other small like Jah-kee. They move together across the valley floor, apparently searching for something.

Searching for us.

Rok and Jus-teen.

Relief floods through me, so powerful it nearly brings me to my knees. They are here. Help is here. Jah-kee will be saved. Somehow.

I draw breath to extend my mindspeak, to alert them to our presence, but something stops me. A sudden, visceral reluctance that makes no sense in the face of Jah-kee's dire condition.

I do not want to give her back.

The thought rises again, unbidden and unwelcome. Selfish. Dangerous. Wrong .

Jah-kee stirs in my arms, a small whimper escaping her parched lips. Her skin burns against mine, her breathing shallow and rapid. She needs help. Now.

I force the selfish thought away and push my mind across the dust.

Rok's head snaps up immediately, his body tensing as he scans the ridgeline. When he spots me, he gestures urgently to Jus-teen, pointing in my direction.

They begin running toward us, Rok easily outpacing the smaller human despite his obvious effort to match her stride.

I start down the ridge, moving as quickly as I dare with Jah-kee's fragile form in my arms. The mindspace between us has gone silent, her presence faded to the barest whisper. Fear tightens my chest, makes my steps clumsy with haste.

"Jacqui!" Jus-teen's voice carries across the distance, high and desperate. "Oh my God, Jacqui!"

The female reaches us first, her water-blue eyes—so like Jah-kee's—wide with shock and fear as she takes in her sister's condition.

"What happened?" Her vocal screech would have once hurt my ears. It does not now. “ Tharn ,” she mindspeaks, her hands reaching for Jah-kee even as I instinctively tighten my hold. " Is she ? — "

" Fire ," I project. " Under her skin. Help ."

Rok’s golden eyes assess the situation quickly. " Brother ," he greets me, his gaze moving from my face to Jah-kee's still form. " You found her ."

I tilt my head in affirmation, unable to form more complex communication in the mindspace. Every fiber of my being is focused on Jah-kee, on the weak pulse of her life against my arms.

Jus-teen's hands hover over Jah-kee, trembling. " We need to get her to the shelter ," she projects, her mental voice steadier now, though fear erupts from her into the mindspace. " Hurry, Tharn ."

My grip tightens slightly. The thought of relinquishing Jah-kee, even to her sister-female, sends a wave of resistance through me.

Rok's gaze shifts to the glow beneath my skin, understanding dawning in his eyes. " Follow us, brother ," he projects quietly. " It is not far ."

Jus-teen leads the way, frequently glancing back at her sister's limp form in my arms, her pace urgent. Rok walks beside me, his protective stance mirroring my own as we approach a small cave entrance partially hidden in the rock.

Inside, the air is cooler. Jus-teen moves quickly, dusting sand from a flat surface.

"Here," she vocalizes, gesturing to the area. "Set her down. I need to examine her."

But I am already there, standing over the area where she wants me to put Jah-kee down. And…I hesitate, my arms tightening around her. The thought of letting her go claws at me, but I force myself to lower her onto the prepared bed.

The moment our bodies separate, the pain in my chest flares.

Jus-teen immediately kneels beside her sister. " Rok, the firebloom .” There’s a ripping sound as she tears hide from her already torn hide coverings. “ And water. We need more water .”

Rok dips his chin to his chest, moving quickly to retrieve what she needs. I stand motionless, suddenly adrift without Jah-kee's weight in my arms. My body feels numb with exhaustion now that the desperate drive to reach help has been fulfilled.

I watch as Jus-teen tends to her sister, as Rok assists with quiet efficiency, their movements synchronized like hunters who have tracked together for many seasons.

I remain at the edge of the small cave, my purpose fulfilled yet feeling strangely incomplete. The relief of finding help wars with a hollow ache, the pain, in my chest.

I have done my duty. The hunt is over.

There should be satisfaction. Pride.

There is only a hollow space in my chest where her weight used to be. There is only loss.

Rok approaches a short time later as Jus-teen continues her ministrations, his expression grave. " Jus-teen knows how to treat the fire ," he tells me.

" Will she live ?" The question tears from me, raw with fear I don't try to hide.

Rok studies me for a long moment before answering. " She is strong, this small one. Like her sister ."

Relief weakens my knees, forces me to brace against the rock wall for support. Jah-kee will live. She will recover. She will...

She will no longer need me.

The thought strikes with unexpected force, leaving a cold emptiness in its wake.

" Brother ," Rok projects softly, " what has happened between you and this female ?"

I look up, meeting his golden gaze directly. There is no judgment there, only curiosity. Understanding.

" I do not know ," I answer. "There is a... something. A tether. I can feel her thoughts sometimes. Her emotions. And when we touch..." I gesture helplessly to the golden glow that still pulses beneath my skin, though fainter now with distance from Jah-kee.

Rok does that chin jerk thing—something he has no doubt learned from Jus-teen. " It was the same with Jus-teen and me ," he projects. " This light. This connection. It grows stronger with time ."

I stare at him, shock momentarily overriding exhaustion. " You experienced this, too? The glow? The... pull ?"

" Yes ." His expression softens, something like contentment passing over his features. “ This light, this connection…it is rare, brother. Special. It is Ain’s gift, marking her as yours to protect, as Jus-teen is mine. I fought it once, too. I tried to tell myself it wasn’t real, but the light does not lie” .

I follow his gaze, watching as Jus-teen carefully bathes Jah-kee's feverish face. The tenderness in her movements mirrors the fierce protectiveness I've felt since finding Jah-kee in the dust.

" A Daughter of Ain…mine ?" The thought filters into the mindspace.

Rok's mouth quirks in what might be amusement. " Jus-teen does not like when we call them that ." He places a hand on my shoulder, his grip firm and reassuring. " Rest now, brother. Regain your strength. There will be time to understand what this means later. "

At his words, my legs, steady through three sols of relentless travel, finally surrender. I slide down the cave wall until I sit on the cool stone floor, my gaze never leaving Jah-kee's still form.

Even as Jus-teen works, as my brother stands guard, I remain connected to her in ways I cannot fully comprehend.

Mine to claim. Mine to protect .

I do not want to give her back.