Page 8

Tommy sat on the edge of the bed, his hands braced on his knees, trying to ignore the tangle of emotions rolling through him. The early morning light seeped through the cracked blinds, painting stripes across the modest bedroom. Tessa had moved back and now sat cross-legged on the bed as if purposely putting a barrier between them.

“I can go on my own,”

he said. “You can return to your life.”

She didn’t reply for a long moment, sizing him up, a slight crease forming between her brows. It was both endearing and troubling. He wanted to brush it away, but he knew better than to touch her again right now. “You haven’t said anything about your injury.”

She pointed to his wound several days further along in the healing process than hers.

It was still sore, and after their activity yesterday, it was aggravating him. Because of it, he’d had trouble getting comfortable during the night, but he’d kept close to her anyway. “Stitches are holding fine,”

he said. “It looks like we’ll both live.”

She gave a laugh, more of an exhale than anything genuine. “I’ll be the judge of that.”

She wiggled her fingers at him. “Let me see.”

He stood and turned so that his injured side faced her. Her fingers brushed against his skin, and he tried not to catch his breath. Not because it hurt but because he desired so much more. He wanted her warm, gentle fingers to explore beyond his wound.

And his morning erection came to full attention, bobbing under his waistband.

For an embarrassing heartbeat, neither of them moved or said anything. He snuck a peek at her and saw her blatant appraisal. When she caught him looking, she began examining her work again.

Doing the most challenging thing of his life, he backed away from her hand and spun around.

“It’s okay,”

she said with a teasing note. “I know how the male body works, and I know that happy little guy has nothing to do with me.”

He whirled back around. “Little?”

She grinned and unfolded her legs. Long, beautiful legs. Standing before him, she put her hands on her hips, lifting her chin and challenge. “Morning erections are nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“I’m not embarrassed. I thought you were. I was trying to be respectful.”

The grin widened. His gaze dropped to her mouth. He wanted to kiss her. He could kiss her. If that smile meant anything, it seemed she might welcome it.

Just as he was about to, the smile fell from her face, and her eyes darkened. She took a step back, stopping him cold.

She was scared.

Not of him, but of whatever was stirring between them. It was her turn to shift away, suddenly avoiding his gaze.

He reached for her. “Tessa…”

She skirted by him and his erection, avoiding his fingers. “I’m going to make coffee,”

she said, her tone clipped now.

Letting his hand fall to his side, he released an exasperated sigh. His erection deflated, and he ran a hand through his hair. He’d blown it. Whatever chance he might’ve had to break through the wall she kept around herself had vanished.

After cleaning up and getting dressed, he found the smell of coffee filling the small kitchen as he stepped inside. Tessa was at the counter, pouring it into two mismatched mugs. “Breakfast of champions,”

she said, sliding a mug across the counter to him.

He didn’t know what to say about what had happened in the bedroom. Would his feeble attempts at an apology only make things worse? “Thanks,”

he muttered. He sipped, and the bitterness of the strong coffee matched the acid in his stomach.

They ate in silence, sharing a can of fruit and a sleeve of crackers scavenged from the pantry. He watched her from the corner of his eye, noting the way her fingers fidgeted with her napkin, her focus on everything but him.

“Didn’t peg you for someone who runs from her feelings,”

he said, breaking the silence.

Her fingers stilled, and she arched a brow. “Excuse me?”

“Seems like you’ve been pushing everyone away since Jessie’s death. Maybe before that, too. I’m curious why.”

She gave a nonchalant shrug, but her thin lips told him it was forced. “There’s nothing to tell.”

“Sure, there is.”

He eased back in the chair, going for nonchalant himself. He sipped his coffee and didn’t push for a minute as he used his fork to fish out another piece of the awful fruit. He chewed slowly, giving her time. “We all have a story.”

Her eyes challenged him. “What’s yours, then? You don’t seem like the relationship type.”

Ah. Was that why she didn’t want to get involved with him? Not only was she afraid to let someone in, she feared he wasn’t the type to stick around. If she did fall for him…

At least he had something to work with now.

He smiled faintly, letting her know he recognized the deflection for what it was. “All right. I’ll go first.”

He refilled their cups and grabbed another cracker. It wasn’t easy to talk about any of this, and he waited for the old resistance to fill his chest and make his throat tight. When he looked at her, sitting there, totally open and ready to listen, however, neither happened.

“Our parents were killed in an accident. That’s how Jessie and I ended up in the system.”

He gave her a few details, not sugarcoating it, but didn’t downplay the chaos or the fear, either. “She was twelve. I was ten.”

“You had your world completely upended.”

He resumed his seat, setting the coffee pot on the cracked linoleum table between them. “I was lucky. Jessie was tough. She did everything she could to keep us together. Even when they stuck her in a foster home halfway across town, she snuck out every night and ran sixteen blocks to check on me. I was with a different family. Eventually, she got caught climbing through my window and got sent to a home even farther away.”

He chuckled to himself, the memories coming back in full force. “That didn’t stop her.”

Tessa’s features softened enough to make him think he’d struck a chord. “I’m not surprised.”

“She was amazing,”

he said. “She made sure I always knew I wasn’t alone.”

For a moment, the only sound was the faint hum of the refrigerator. Tessa ate the final piece of fruit from the can and sipped her coffee. Tommy glanced out the window, wondering if his confession made any difference in gaining her trust.

She rose, throwing the plastic sleeve from the crackers away and rinsing the can in the sink. Guess that was his answer.

He wanted to ask about their itinerary for the day, but his heart wasn’t in it. Going on the run with her to trace Jessie’s steps had seemed exciting and necessary yesterday. Today, he wasn’t sure. All he could think about was Tessa.

She took her coffee and walked out of the kitchen. His heart sank.

He tried to find the energy to get up and move, but what was there to do? Throwing his clothes into his backpack would take all of a minute.

When she returned, she’d changed clothes and put on makeup. A lot of makeup. She laid her cell phone on the table and sat, bracing her hands on the tabletop and staring a hole in it.

“My stepdad was a drunk,”

she said, her tone flat. “Mean, too. He beat my mom on the regular. One night, they got into a bad one. Things got out of hand, and he—”

she paused, drawing in a deep breath that seemed to come all the way up from her toes. “He killed her. Right in front of me. I saw the light leave her eyes.”

Tommy’s chest went tighter than a ripcord.

“He went to prison, but he was a consultant for the Agency, and they covered up a lot of his shit.”

“He was a spy?”

“Consultant,”

she repeated, making air quotes. “He was only charged with manslaughter and was placed in a special lockup to keep him from talking about the secrets he knew. I got shipped off to live with my aunt in London. She wasn’t cruel, but she didn’t want me there. Made that clear every chance she got. I never met my grandparents.”

Her gaze drifted to the window. “I couldn’t wait to get out on my own. Been taking care of myself ever since.”

He suspected she’d been caring for herself since before her mother died. He wanted to comfort her, but what was there to say? She would only push him away, thinking it was pity. “Jessie said you were royalty or some shit.”

Her chuckle was dry and devoid of emotion. “Brushing cousins on my mom’s side. She came from a well-off British family with lands and titles. I’m officially a Lady, the daughter of a British earl and a countess, but it means nothing. My father died when I was a baby, and once my mother remarried an American, her family disowned her. And me.”

“That’s why you don’t let anyone in, right? You lost both your parents and your extended family, and then you took a chance with Jessie, and she died. Now, you won’t risk it.”

“Relationships are bad for my heart.”

“You don’t want to need anyone because needing them makes you vulnerable. They can let you down.”

Her eyes swung to him. “They don’t simply let me down. They die.”

He nodded. Said nothing.

After a moment, her shoulders slumped, and she let out a soft, bitter laugh. “Maybe, Mr. Therapist, I just don’t like people.”

“You like me.”

The corner of her mouth twitched. “Don’t push it.”

He raised his hands in surrender. “Like a good therapist, I’m simply stating facts. Holding up a mirror so you can see yourself.”

She was about to retort when her phone rang. The smile on her face disappeared. “It’s Meg.”

Shit.

Tessa chewed her bottom lip as if debating whether to answer. Then she punched the screen and put the call on speaker. “Yes?”

“Good morning to you, too,”

Meg answered. “Any news?”

Tessa met Tommy’s gaze. He held his breath for a heartbeat, seeing the struggle behind her eyes. She was weighing outcomes, considering whether to give him up. She dropped her attention back to the phone. “Nothing new. Has Del decoded more of the information?”

Damn, she was good at deflection. Tommy held his breath again, for a different reason this time.

“The USB had a virus that was triggered once he got to the second level. It completely wiped the drive. We have no idea now what else Tommy had on it.”

He let out the breath he was holding.

Tessa eyed him suspiciously. “He’s smart.”

The admiration in her tone and her eyes made his chest swell. He tried not to show it.

“Smart, yes, but what’s he up to? Look, Dec and I are flying there later today.”

Meg rattled off the flight details. “Pick us up at the airport at seven, okay?”

Tessa blanched and ran a finger along the edge of the phone. “I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

“Tessa, come on. We need you on the swans. You have to help us find Tommy.”

Again, Tessa hesitated. Tommy wasn’t sure if she was coming up with an excuse to avoid Meg and Declan, or if she was about to give him up.

“I wish I could,”

she said. “I won’t be here when you arrive.”

He still didn’t dare to breathe. Meg made an exasperated sound in the back of her throat. “Where are you going? “

“To London and then Arizona.”

Tommy winced at the fact she shared even that much. “Visiting friends.”

“You don’t have friends.”

Tessa stuck her tongue out at the phone. He wasn’t the only one stating facts this morning. “You’re welcome to use my place as your home base,”

Tessa said, “but I won’t be there for a while.”

Declan came on the line. Meg must’ve had the conversation on speakerphone as well. “Tessa, I know you don’t want to be involved in this, but your country needs you,”

he said. “We’re running out of time, and if we don’t find Tommy and figure out what all he uncovered about the EMP attacks, a lot of people will get hurt. Can’t you postpone your visit?”

“No, Dec, I can’t, and if Tommy knows what’s happening, I’m sure he’s working to stop it, just like you are.”

Her intense eyes zeroed in on him. “The swans should quit worrying about his whereabouts and focus on stopping the attacks. Now, like I said, you’re welcome to stay at my place. It’s a mess, but better than nothing. Other than that, I can’t help you. Good luck.”

She punched the disconnect button and chewed her bottom lip again. “That was stupid.”

He was so thankful she hadn’t betrayed him, he didn’t understand. “What?”

“Offering them my place. They’ll realize I had company.”

“And that’s rare for you.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Rare, but not unheard of. I happen to be good at ending up with the wrong guy in my bed on occasion. If they suspect I had a visitor, hopefully, they don’t realize it was you.”

Wrong guy in her bed. Was that how she saw him?

She stood. “Let’s go. The train leaves in two hours.”

“We’ve got plenty of time.”

“I need to make a stop first.”

“Where?”

“You’ll see.”

Again, she was unwilling to share more than a few details. It frustrated him, but what could he do? He’d agreed to let her be in charge.

They packed and were ready to leave in less than ten minutes. He paused at the back door, catching her arm gently. She tensed but didn’t pull away. “Thanks,” he said.

“For what?”

It was a flippant, automatic response.

“For all this, but particularly about sharing what happened to your family. To you.”

She blinked, then nodded once.

Then, shocking him, she rose on her toes and kissed his cheek. Her lips brush the corner of his mouth.

She turned and walked out into the morning drizzle before he could react and pull her into his arms.

He understood now—why she kept people at arm’s length. Why she was so determined to be in charge of everything and do things her way.

You don’t have to anymore, he vowed.

Following her, he swore to himself to make sure she never felt abandoned or alone again. He’d be there for her and make sure she knew what it felt like to be loved and taken care of.

Before this was all over with, he’d break through those damn walls of hers, and he wouldn’t stop until she let him in.