Page 72 of Tell Me Pucking Lies

County B: pending.

County C: stable.

I write at the bottom,No leaks. No Ax.

Outside the window, the quad glows orange under lamplight. A couple makes out on a bench. Normalcy hums around me, oblivious.

A campus security truck passes outside. I watch the lights flash across my blinds, casting shadows that dance and disappear.

They have no idea what’s happening right under them. No idea that I run more of this campus than they do.

And they never will.

I close the notebook and kill the light.

Promises are expensive. I pay mine with other people’s bones.

But for Lexi?

I’ll pay it.

Every time.

16

Lexi

Ihaven’t heard from Koa since I crawled into his lap and acted completely out of character.

I’ve never done that before—thrown myself at someone like that, touched them so deliberately, watched them unravel under my hands. But remembering the look in his eyes when I straddled him, when I made him swallow that lump in his throat, feels empowering. Intoxicating, even.

The control I had over him in that moment is addicting. That’s exactly why I’m not chasing him now. I don’t text first. Don’t beg for his attention. Don’t check my phone every five minutes to see if he’s reached out.

I also know he’s busy. And honestly? I’d rather not know what he’s doing. What he does—selling, distributing, whatever clinical term he wants to use for ruining lives—it’s not something I can mentally comprehend. Or handle.

So I don’t ask. Don’t think about it. Push it down where all the other uncomfortable truths live.

I’m in the middle of a nap when Thea walks into my dorm room.

“Why are you asleep right now?” She nudges my shoulder, grinning. “You never nap. What happened last night?”

I groan, trying to burrow deeper into my pillow. “Nothing. Go away.”

She laughs and keeps messing with me—poking my ribs, pulling the blanket off. “Come on. Get up.”

“Fine.” I sit up, rubbing my eyes. “I’m up. Happy?”

“Very.” She plops down on the edge of my bed, bouncing slightly. “Guess who I danced with last night?”

“Casper the Friendly Ghost?”

She shoves me. “Nash. He’s so hot, Lex. Like, stupidly hot.”

My stomach drops. “Druggie?”

She shakes her head quickly. Too quickly. “God, I hope not. Doesn’t seem like it. He plays hockey.”

I mock her tone. “Ooh, hockey. That’s cool.”