Page 53 of Tell Me Pucking Lies

An hour passes. Then two.

My phone buzzes again.

Thea:I heard there’s a party this weekend. You in?

I sit up, suddenly interested.

Lexi:YES. I need to dance and let loose.

Thea:That’s my girl. Friday night. Sigma house. Wear something cute.

Lexi:Deal.

By the time Friday arrives, I still haven’t heard from Axel or Koa.

The silence from Axel hurts more than I want to admit. The silence from Koa... I don’t know what that is. Relief, maybe. Or dread.

Either way, I’ve gotten into a groove. Classes, studying, pretending everything’s fine. The first week is over, and I’ve survived.

That counts for something.

Thea and I don’t get too dolled up for the party. We’re not those girls—the ones in bodycon dresses and heels, makeup done to perfection. We keep it simple.

I throw on a tight knit t-shirt—black, long-sleeved, high-necked to cover the bite mark on my chest. It’s faded to a sick yellow-green now, but it’s still visible. Still a reminder.

Baggy jeans that fall straight to the ground. White sneakers. Hair pulled back in a ponytail.

Thea’s outfit is almost identical, except her shirt is cropped and she’s wearing silver hoops that catch the light.

“We look hot,” she says, checking herself in the mirror.

“We look normal.”

“We’re perfect. Never try-hards.”

We head out, cutting across campus toward Greek Row. The party’s already raging when we arrive—music thumping, people spilling out onto the lawn, red Solo cups everywhere.

Inside, it’s packed. Bodies pressed together, the air thick with sweat and cheap beer and weed.

“Okay,” I say, leaning close so Thea can hear me over the music. “I’m staying sober. Just like high school.”

She grins. “My designated babysitter.”

“Exactly. I’ll keep an eye on you.”

“You’re the best.”

I grab an empty cup from the kitchen, fill it with water, and hold it like a shield. It’s an old trick—people see the cup and assume you’re drinking. No one asks questions.

We find a spot on the dance floor—really just the living room with the furniture shoved against the walls. The bass vibrates through the floor, through my chest. Thea’s already moving, hips swaying, arms in the air.

I let myself relax. Let the music take over. This is exactly what I needed. I bump and grind on Thea. Thank you, Thea.

Thea’s roommate appears out of nowhere, dragging two other girls with her. They form a circle, laughing and dancing and screaming the lyrics to whatever song is playing.

For a moment, I forget about Axel. Forget about Koa. Forget about the bite mark hidden under my shirt. Forget about drugs and how fucked up my life is.

I’m just a college freshman at a party, dancing with my girlfriends, screaming song lyrics and jumping around, having fun. It’s moments like these that are important in life. It’s not that none of my dark sides matter, it’s just that I’m living life in the moment without the constant dread or thoughts consuming my entire soul. These are the moments where I forget how heavy everything is on my shoulders and can breathe.