Page 12 of Tell Me I'm Not Dreaming

LYRIC

J ust like their visit to the food festival, Lyric drives Ranson’s car. And just like then, she knows where she’s going and wants him to relax.

He told her not to worry about his dad, and that he would take care of everything.

Even though she trusts Ranson already, she doesn’t trust his dad.

She wants to make sure all their ducks are in a row.

Things have been quiet, but just like with children, things are never good when the rich and entitled go silent.

It usually means there’s a storm brewing.

Lyric has been plotting and planning herself.

She’s looking forward to unveiling her plan, but this weekend is a break from all the Hamilton family drama.

It’s time for some from her family. Except Lyric’s family drama is more in the vein of roasting and shit-talking.

She pulls up to her Uncle Doc’s place. It’s similar to hers in that it has the homey feel to it, except it’s much bigger, and his place also comes with a lot of land on the property. It feels like a bit of Tennessee in SoCal.

Lyric hops out of the car like an excited little girl. She always loves visiting Uncle Doc’s place for family gatherings. Ranson chuckles behind her as she rushes to the door. Before she can get to the first step, the door opens, and a pair of strong arms are wrapped around her.

“Hey, Big Head!”

“Hey, L!”

The two cousins hug each other tightly. Big Head puts Lyric down, and she turns to Ranson, who’s smiling at the scene before him.

“Big Head, this is Ranson.”

“Money bags!” Big Head wraps Ranson in a hug. He pulls him close and says something in his ear before backing away. “Do you understand?”

“I do.” Ranson nods.

“I’m serious, money bags, you hurt L, and they won’t be able to find your body. I don’t give a fuck about your daddy,” Big Head announces.

“Understood, sir, and I respect your candor. I have sisters and have been forced to fuck up quite a few niggas in their honor.”

Big Head nods. “Good to know. Now, both of you get in here and settle some nonsense.”

They follow him into the house, and immediately, Lyric hears arguing between some of her female relatives.

“What nonsense?” Lyric asks.

They enter the kitchen.

“This.” Big Head points to the scene before them.

Lyric sees her cousins whipped up in a frenzy about potato salad as they get the refrigerated sides ready for tomorrow and several of her aunts make tonight’s dinner.

Her cousin-in-law, Tammy, whizzes right by Lyric and grabs Ranson’s hand.

“Come here, big fella. Have a seat.”

She pulls him to a stool at the kitchen island and places a small bowl of potato salad in front of him.

“Taste that,” she orders.

Ranson takes a bite of potato salad and slowly chews it. Everyone has gotten quiet and is looking at the scene before them.

“What do you think?” Tammy asks.

“Um …” Ranson begins.

“Now, hold on here.” A warm booming voice rings out by the kitchen entrance. Lyric’s mom, theee Cerese Fuqua, saunters over to Ranson. She takes his bowl and scrapes out the remainder of Tammy’s potato salad, washes the bowl and replaces it with her own.

“Eat this,” she commands.

Ranson eats the potato salad and scrapes it with his spoon to get the very last bite.

“And now you can say what you think,” Cerese says.

“The first bowl was good, but the potatoes hadn’t been boiled long enough. And the second bowl was perfect,” Ranson answers. He turns to a pouting Tammy. “Sorry.”

“Whatever,” she mutters.

“Let this be a lesson, don’t come half stepping in this or any kitchen I cook in and expect to dethrone me, little girl,” Cerese says in a gentle but pointed tone.

“You think you run everything,” Tammy mumbles, walking away to join her husband Herman outside with their kids.

“That’s because I do, and you’d best remember that,” Cerese claps back.

“Tell her, Reesie. These youngins don’t know who they foolin’ with,” Auntie Eunetta says.

“But they gon‘ learn. There’s a reason Nonni put Auntie Cerese in charge of potato salad,” Big Head chimes in.

“It’s okay, ya’ll. I have no problem reminding them.” Cerese smiles. “Now let me greet my baby. Trying to take my spot, and now I’m late, giving my Lyric some suga.”

Cerese heads to a smiling Lyric. The two ladies hug tightly.

“That’s right! That’s my momma,” Lyric cheers, making everyone laugh.

Her mom is the grand dame of the Fuqua family. She will be the matriarch when Lyric’s grandmother passes away. She was anointed by Nonna Nita, herself.

“How’s my baby girl?” she asks.

“I’m good, momma.” Lyric notices she truly means that her voice bursting with happiness.

“Is that my Lyric I hear?” Her daddy, Eckhart, enters the house along with Lyric’s Uncle Doc.

“Daddy!” Lyric gives her mom one last squeeze before rushing to her dad and hugging him.

Eckhart looks at Ranson and notices the empty bowl. “I certainly hope you picked the right potato salad, son.”

“Yes, sir. I did.”

“He damn sure did,” Cerese says.

“Good.” Eckhart nods.

“How are you with a fishing pole?” Uncle Doc asks.

“I can handle myself,” Ranson answers.

Big Head and Uncle Doc chuckle.

“You sure about that, money bags?” Big Head says.

“The fish are plentiful around these parts, and we come back with coolers filled to the brim. Then we scale, gut, and get things ready for the ladies before they fry ’em up.

It’s a lot of hard work. And we’re not about to go easy on you just because you’re dating Lyric. ”

“I don’t back down from a challenge,” Ranson says, looking Big Head in the eye.

“Good to hear. Hey, L, I thought I asked you to tell Aimee to chill.”

“You know damn well that’s like trying to stop a hurricane with an umbrella.” Lyric eats some potato salad.

Big Head shakes his head and chuckles. “And what the hell is Gifts from Gaia? And why did I pay them two hundred dollars?”

“The girls and I visited a psychic.”

“Pffftt, that’s some devil mess.” Big Head jokes.

“You wanted us to have fun, right? You want Shereeta to know how generous you are don’t you?”

“Speaking of which, I saw her fine ass the other day.”

“Big Head, I was just playing. Leave that woman alone,” Lyric responds.

“What? I happened to be on campus and wanted to say hi.” He shrugs innocently.

“And why were you at Cal Tech? You work in security.” Lyric folds her arms across her chest.

The two of them have always been more like siblings than cousins. She’s the bratty little sister, and he’s the overprotective, pain-in-the-ass big brother.

Since Big Head has a thing for Suchi’s Aunt Shereeta, he always finds a way to “run into her.” Not that she doesn’t like it.

“I know what my job is, Lyric.” He ruffles her hair.

“Stop! Leave my hair alone.” Lyric pushes him away.

“Please. That’s some Korean lady’s hair,” Big Head roasts Lyric.

“Nigga, you know I don’t wear a weave.” Lyric throws a piece of corn bread at him.

Big Head catches it, takes a bite and mocks her, “with your no throwing ass.”

Lyric notices Ranson chuckling.

“I know you’re not laughing at me, Mr. Hamilton,” Lyric says.

“What? No! Of course not.” Ranson tries and fails to stop laughing.

“Hello, everyone!” Lyric’s cousin Jamar enters holding hands with his latest girlfriend.

“Hey look, this guy’s here!” Ranson tries to steer Lyric’s attention to Jamar.

“Nice try.” Lyric pokes Ranson in the middle of his forehead.

Ranson takes out his phone and sends a message.

Lyric’s phone buzzes. She checks it then looks up at him.

“Negro, did you just send me $10,000 to get out of trouble?”

“Yes, and I will keep sending you that same amount until your house and student loans are paid off. And I’ll even pay off your girls loans too.”

She stares at him in shock.

“Nice move, money bags. You actually got Lyric to be quiet.” Big Head says.

Lyric squints her eyes at Big Head making him laugh.

“You’re offering to pay off her house and her college loans?” Lyric’s father asks.

“Yes, sir. I am.” Ranson nods.

“Welcome to the family, son!” Eckhart hugs Ranson. He hugs him back.

The family laughs.

“I know that’s one hell of an act to follow, but everyone, this is Melanie.” Jamar gestures toward his date.

The family says hi, mustering as much hospitality as possible.

It’s nothing against Melanie, but every time they have a family gathering, Jamar brings a new girl.

It’s so frequent that there’s no point in even remembering her name.

She’ll be replaced with another girl by the time they all get together again for the Fourth of July.

“Hello, Melanie,” Cerese says. “I hope you brought your appetite because we plan to feed you around here.”

“Oh, I don’t eat anything fried, and I don’t eat meat,” Melanie shares.

Why the fuck did Jamar bring this girl here ?

Literally, the whole menu for the weekend is fried foods, and all the vegetables will be cooked with meat. Hell, Lyric made sure to get Ranson’s dietary restrictions after she invited him. He’s all clear. If Melanie has food allergies, Jamar should have said something.

“Jamar, if the girl can’t eat anything we cook, what’s she going to eat?” Cerese asks.

“Uncle Doc has a whole garden; can’t we sauté some onions and bell peppers? Or something.”

“Who’s we ? You’re not the one cooking,” Auntie Eunetta says.

“Okay, sorry, Auntie, can y’all sauté something?”

“It’s okay, Jamar, sweetie. I wouldn’t be able to eat anything here anyway.” Miss Thing has the nerve to turn her nose up. “Me and Chanel only eat organically grown food with no additives. Don’t we, baby?” She kisses the small poodle she’s holding on the mouth.

Wow ! Me and the girls love Ginger, but even we aren’t this bad . This is some white people shit .

Lyric looks at Ranson, and he smirks.

“Oh, lord. How is she more bougie than the millionaire?” Auntie Vyola mutters.

Ranson chuckles but covers it up by stuffing a piece of cornbread Auntie Eunetta gave him in his mouth.

“I’m sure we can find something for you, but I do have to ask that you take your dog out of the kitchen,” Cerese says.

“Oh, it’s fine. She’s sweet and won’t get in the way,” Melanie says.

“I’m sorry, sugar, but the only animals allowed in this kitchen are the ones we’re going to eat. Please take the dog elsewhere.” Cerese repeats with a bless your heart sweetness in her voice.

Jamar’s girlfriend looks at him like she’s expecting him to stand up for her. He avoids eye contact, looking at the floor.

She stomps out of the kitchen, and everyone is silent until Cerese pipes up.

“Jamar.”

“Yes, Auntie?” Jamar still looks at the floor.

“What did I tell you about bringing those bougie-ass girls to family functions?”

“That I need to stop.” Jamar looks up. “But I swear, Auntie. Tawny’s different. I see a future with her.”

“Her name is Melanie, fool.” Lyric makes fun of him.

“Oh, right.” Jamar cringes at his faux pas.

“And that’s also what you said about Denise,” Lyric says.

“And Megan,” Cerese adds.

“And Amber,” Sione, another cousin-in-law chimes in.

“And Heidi,” Tahj, Sione’s sister interjects.

“And I thought I meant it until I met Tawny,” Jamar defends himself.

“Melanie!” all the ladies yell.

“Dang, why do I keep doing that? Y’all got in my head,” Jamar complains.

“Man, ain’t nothing in your head but air,” Big Head tells him.

Jamar waves him away and goes looking for Melanie .

Lyric’s great-grandmother enters the room and pinches Big Head.

“Ouch! Gigi, why you pinching me?” Big Head asks.

“Where’s your daddy hiding the shine?” Gigi asks.

“Gigi, you know you can’t have any moonshine,” Cerese argues.

Ranson looks at Lyric with his eyebrows raised. Lyric nods as if to say, “Yep, you heard that right.”

“Hush up, Cerese. Tell me where the moonshine is now, Big Head!” Gigi pinches Big Head over and over.

“Ow! Gigi, stop,” Big Head protests.

Lyric taps Ranson on the arm, and he tears his eyes away from Gigi chasing Big Head around the kitchen to Lyric. She crooks her finger so he can follow her. They go upstairs as everyone tries to keep Gigi away from Big Head.